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Extraordinary Leader#14: Servant Leadership, Fast Cars, and the Stuart O'Grady Fan ClubTrue leadership as a leader coach comes from a place of caring enough about people to hold them to be the best they can be. And in so doing, in not caring how we are perceived in the process. Ultimately, if we hold consistently to our belief in others being capable of playing at a different level of behaviour, paradoxically, they will respect us more. And yet, if we made the goal respect, and not service, the chances are we would not get respect, as respect is an outcome of how we show up in our relationships. November 2001: The Extraordinary Leader Newsletter. Issue #14 ************************************************************** Practical action you can take to improve your leadership, communications and awareness. More than 1,300 subscribers now receive this free monthly newsletter. Thanks for passing it on! To SUBSCRIBE send an e-mail to, Copyright, 2001, Christine McDougall. For permission to post or reprint, please see notice at the end. *************************************************************** CONTENTS **************************************************************** In the work that I do with leaders one of the most important shifts I ask them to make is to become a leader coach, and as a coach to be in leadership as a service to others. To begin this discussion I will ask you to think about an archetypical sports coach. A great sports coach. A great sports coach has the following similar characteristics. As I mentioned in the last newsletter, every human being I have met so far is aware that they have behaviour that limits them, and, most significantly, they would like to be held accountable...and NOT get away with their limiting behaviour. (for a copy of this newsletter send an e-mail to info@christinemcdougall.com with #13 in the subject line) This says to me that we all want to have at least one great coach present in our lives, someone who believes in our, as yet, unexpressed potential, and holds us to that. We have a deep yearning for this. We like ourselves less when we manage to get away with our limiting behaviours, and our self esteem slips. A great coach, as a leader coach in organizations, will demonstrate all of the characteristics of the great sports coach. Their team may at times be pissed off with them, and not like them. However, if the leader coach is playing from a place of service, this will become irrelevant, because it is not about them, and everything about the people they are leading becoming the best they can be. One of the single greatest things that get in the way of us holding people in our lives to behaviour that reflects their highest potential, versus behaviour that reflects their limits, is our need to be liked (There are other needs...such as the need to be right, or the need to be understood. I will talk about these needs in future editions). When we are more worried about our stuff: will they like me, will they think I am a good leader, will this impress my boss, will this impress the Board, the stockholders, then we are not focussed on serving our staff/the people in our life to their highest potential. And a great leader coach places serving his or her staff above how good or bad he or she will look. Always. I use an acronym to teach this point. When we attempt to be ~nice~ to people, to not speak the truth because we are worried about how people will think or feel about us, we are more concerned about us than about them. I must care enough about you to tell you the hard truths. To tell you that you are not pulling your weight and you areblaming others for your laziness. If I do not care enough about you, I will not tell you. When I am in service as a leader coach, I am coming from a place of care. This is in distinction to telling people because we want to be righteous, or to hurt them. Service and caring are absent from this form of leadership. True leadership as a leader coach comes from a place of caring enough about people to hold them to be the best they can be. And in so doing, in not caring how we are perceived in the process. Ultimately, if we hold consistently to our belief in others being capable of playing at a different level of behaviour, paradoxically, they will respect us more. And yet, if we made the goal respect, and not service, the chances are we would not get respect, as respect is an outcome of how we show up in our relationships.
ON THE PERSONAL SIDE: This has been a sporting month for me and my world. The Gold Coast was host to the CART cars second to last race of the season, and our 11th Indy Cars event. For four days they turn the centre of Surfers Paradise into a street circuit. You get to watch cars go around the 5 km circuit at close to 200 km per hour. For anyone who has not seen cars going this fast, it is something that TV does not do justice to. The final race day was a beautiful, cloudless, hot day; our beaches formed the perfect background to fast cars, celebrities, and the Indy girls. The F 1 11 jet flying over the track and doing a dump and burn of fuel, and then climbing vertically until you can no longer see it, is one of the most awe inspiring sights. This last weekend was spent in Noosa, at the second largest triathlon in the world (Chicago is the biggest). 3800 competitors gather in the beautiful Noosa to do battle with their own demons. In 1995 and 1996 I participated in the entire event (Olympic distance Triathlon- 1500 m swim, 40 km bike, 10 km run). This year I had been invited to participate in a team, my first ever team triathlon. I had not met my team members until the day before the race. The cyclist had lost 32 kg since January. This was a big moment for him. To shift from being couch potato to athlete. I happily did the swim event, the first part of the triathlon. I did a personal best without the aid of a wetsuit (a wet suit makes you more buoyant and therefore faster), and was very happy; with sore arms telling me I had swum hard. We stayed to watch everyone finish (three plus hours), people of all shapes and sizes, and all levels of fitness. The point of these events is not how fast you go, but that you show up and do it. The sense of achievement is huge for so many people. Natalie, not a keen sports participant, became a keep sports watcher. One of the events was a cycling criterion, with many of our great cyclists participating. Natalie was happily chatting to Stuart O'Grady (stage winner of the Tour de France), and in the inimitably shameless way of a child, asked him if he was famous and could he win? He was very gracious, laughing, and saying he needed all the help he could get, and Natalie and her two friends agreed to become Stuart's official cheer squad. Well, three 10 year olds sure can scream. It made the sound of the Indy cars appear quiet. It would have been impossible for Stuart to not hear, even in a pack of sixty cyclists, going 50-60 km around a tight track. Stuart did not win, but he was always in the game, and he now has another fan.
ON THE BUSINESS SIDE: I will be returning to the US at the end of the month for an ICF Board meeting in Atlanta. I'll also be visiting clients in New York. Hopefully, I will squeeze a few days of snowboarding in to the work schedule.
A RECOMMENDATION: Radical Forgiveness, by Colin C.Tippin This little book is one of the best I have read in a long time. In a simple and readable way Mr. Tippin explains why we live our lives so much in the world of the victim, and how to become victorious. His words echo the work I have been speaking of in these past two newsletters. Have a great month, Warmly, Christine ********************************************************* Copyright 2001 Christine McDougall To SUBSCRIBE, send message to: To UNSUBSCRIBE, simply visit www.christinemcdougall.com and unsubscribe. To CHANGE YOUR ADDRESS, simply visit www.christinemcdougall.com and To subscribe as group, send a list of e-mail addresses to Christine McDougall International
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