1. News at Joe Kort & Associates 

2. Bring in the New Year with "Reclaiming The Man in the Mirror" Dec. 31, 2006 to Jan. 5, 2007

3. Study shows that 1 in 10 straight men have sex with men

4. Oprah on "Lesbians in heterosexual marriages" Monday, October 2, 2006

5. Joe on Myspace.com

6. Joe's Book Updates

Psychotherapy Services

Telephone Coaching and Consultation

Clinical Consulting and Supervision Services for Psychotherapists

Frequently Asked Questions

The following are Joe Kort's areas of specialties:

Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity

Sexual Anorexia

Sexual Abuse

Straight men who have sex with men

Erotic Intelligence

Chemical Dependency

Imago Relationship Therapy

Monogamy/Nonmonogamy Issues

Breakup Recovery

Coming Out Issues

Gay Affirmative Therapy

Depression and Anxiety Disorders
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Have a great October and enjoy Fall!

Warmly, Joe Kort, LMSW

December 31-January 5, 2007

Esalen in Big Sur, California
esalen.org

This workshop is for partnered and/or single gay men. While male couples can attend it is not designed for the couple. Both partners can work together in exercises but the focus will be on them individually.

This workshop focuses on sex, love, and intimacy among gay men. Joe Kort writes: "Most people, gay and straight alike, do not know if their sexual fantasies and/or sexual acts are healthy versus unhealthy. The secret logic of sexual fantasies and desires can help unlock information stored away in a gay man's history that can help him enjoy his sexuality even more. There is an erotic intelligence that can teach a person how to know and understand himself in a deeper way."

This workshop starts out with the sexual aspects of relationships and moves to love and commitment. Gay men will learn the mystery of why they are drawn to Mr. Right and how to stay connected and partnered with the man of their dreams. This workshop will focus on how to incorporate sex, love, and intimacy, and how to keep and maintain a relationship.

*Come to UNCOVER and DISCOVER your Sexual Shadow!*
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ABOUT THE WORKSHOP:

We live in a sexually illiterate society. There is little to no permission to examine openly our sexuality in terms of orientation, behavior and fantasies. Most people, gay and straight alike, do not know if their sexual fantasies and/or sexual acts are healthy versus unhealthy. While gay men are more inclined to act out their sexual desires and fantasies more openly than their heterosexual counterparts, there still lies confusion as to what is positive and self-affirming and what is not.

There is also confusion about what is sex, what is love and what is intimacy. This workshop will explore the definitions of each of these and how to integrate them all together for gay men. Much of our culture as gay men, as well as for our heterosexual counterparts, are confused about how to make this integration. There is also confusion about how to have healthy sex, love and intimacy without having to have all of them combined.

This workshop will help clarify all of this.

 How do you define sex?

 What is healthy versus unhealthy sex?

 Do you understand the secret logic of your sexual fantasies?

 What is your sexual shadow?

 Are you sexually addicted, compulsive or just have a large sexual appetite?

 Do you carry sexual shame?

 How do you feel about your body?

 Do you want to improve your sex life?

 Are you getting the love you want in your relationship?

 Are you keeping the love you find when you think you found Mr. Right?

 What is your definition of love?

 What is your definition of intimacy?

 What are the stages of love?

These are just some of the questions we will be examining at the upcoming workshop. The workshop will include guided imagery, experiential exercises, communication exercises and lectures.

We will explore sexual behavior and fantasies with understanding, compassion, and without judgment.

For more information about Reclaiming the Man in the Mirror and for cost, times and registration go to Registration

by Joe Kort, LMSW

Many men who have sex with men (MSM) get referred to me by their straight therapists. Holding my books and other coming-out literature in their hands, they explain that their therapists have tried to help them come out. But since they say they are not gay, their therapist has sent them to me to assess their true orientation.

I have seen hundreds of heterosexual men come to my office with same-sex behaviors worried that they might be gay. However I have always been able to help these men distinguish between their organic, innate sexual and romantic orientation as well as their sexual preferences. I have always known that straight men can have sex with other men and not be gay. However that concept makes people very anxious. Some think the behavior itself defines a gay orientation. Others--particularly gays and lesbians—understandably worry that it will be used to show that people can go from gay to straight. The reality is that from the start these SMSM’s are not gay and now we have research to prove it.

A recent New York City survey found nearly one in 10 men say they're straight and have sex only with other men (Link to http://www.webmd.com/content/article/127/116736.htm). The findings appear in the Sept. 19, 2006 issue of the Annals of Internal Medicine. They also found that 70% of these straight-identified men having sex with men are married. In fact according to the Center for Disease Control, more than 3 million women are, or have been wives or girlfriends of men who secretly have sex with other men. In fact, 10% of all married men in this survey report same-sex behavior during the past year.

Some of the findings include:

Straight-identified men who have sex with men report fewer sex partners than gay men.
Straight-identified men who have sex with men report fewer STDs in the past year than gay men.
Straight-identified men who have sex with men are less likely than gay men to report using a condom during their last sexual encounter.
Straight-identified men who have sex with men are more likely to be foreign born than gay men.

To read more go to Straight men who have sex with men article

The book, "On the Downlow" by J.L. King made was popularized by Oprah when she did a show on the topic in 2003 of married men going on the "downlow" to have sex with other men. The issue was that these men were bring STD's and HIV infection to their wives.

This new study show that it is not just African American men, it is men of all colors, races, ethnicities and religions.

Joanne has written an excellent book called, "Living Two Lives: In love with a woman and married to a man". To order you can go to Living Two Lives: In love with a woman and married to a man.

Her work is featured on her website at www.lavendervisions.com

My URL
www.Joe Kort's myspace.com.com

My Blog URL
Check me out on MySpace!

Chapter 1: Live in Integrity and Be Accountable to Yourself and Your Partner

Chapter 2: Become the Man You Were Meant to Be

Chapter 3: Discover How What You Hate Can Help You Love

Chapter 4: Go from a Gay Boy to a Gay Man with Your Father

Chapter 5: Recognize the Difference Between Mommy Nearest, Mommy Dearest, and Mommy Queerest

Chapter 6: Learn How To Disarm--Not Strong-arm--Your Partner In Communication

Chapter 7: Know Your Sexual Shadow

Chapter 8: Understand the New Mixed Marriage: When Three's a Crowd

Chapter 9: How to Call It Quits Without Being a Quitter

Chapter 10: Bring Your Own Shadow

Introduction: Start Your Hero's Journey and Let Your Initiation Begin!

By showing how to look closely at the deepest sources of your wants and needs, "10 SMART THINGS GAY MEN CAN DO TO FIND REAL LOVE" will help you achieve the kind of lasting close relationships you deserve.

Read an introduction to the book.

Visit http://www.amazon.com to purchase the book.

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Foreign translations of Joe's First Book

"10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Improve Their Lives" was originally published in 2003. In 2004 it was translated in both German and in Spanish.

Each of these books can be ordered at German Translation: and Spanish Translation:
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*Gay Affirmative Therapy for the Straight Clinician:
The Essential Guide*

In press from WW Norton Books by Joe in 2007.

A book for helping straight clinicians work with Gays and Lesbians
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As a psychotherapist, if you have gay and lesbian clients,

It’s not enough to be gay-friendly.

The fact is, even the best intentioned therapists have some level of homophobia to overcome.

From birth, heterosexist culture imprints us to think that heterosexuality is primary,and that any other orientation is inferior.

It’s not even enough to be gay yourself.

Gay or straight, we’re taught the homonegative belief that the "alternate lifestyle" of being gay is a more difficult way to live. But the "alternative" of living heterosexually is actually harder for gay men and lesbians, and can lead only to depression and self-defeating, or even self-destructive behaviors.

Learn the issues that gay men and lesbians face.

They may surprise you!

COMING From WW Norton Books by Joe Kort: "Gay Affirmative Therapy for the Straight Clinician: The Essential Guide" by Joe Kort, MSW, LMSW

This book will offer skills and information to straight therapist working with gay, bisexual and lesbian clients. It is not enough to be gay friendly. It is crucial that therapists be armed with the facts and information to do effective work with their gay, lesbian and bisexual clients.

It is based on my work with Gay and Lesbian clients, my own personal journey as a gay male and psychotherapist of 21 years, along with the information I teach at Wayne State University's School of Social Work on Lesbian and Gay Studies
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Click on the images of the books to purchase Joe's two published books at Joe's library .

If you want to book a signing or workshop anywhere in your area please feel free to contact me at joekort@joekort.com or 248-399-7317.