Hello Everyone,

If you are new to Kort's Korner I want to welcome you. If you were gone for a while and have returned I want to welcome you back. And if you know of others would be interested in this newsletter please feel free to forward it onto them. To be taken off the list go to the end of this email and click on unsubscribe.

IN THIS ISSUE OF KORT'S KORNER:

News from Joe Kort & Associates & Joe's Blogs, "Outside the Kort Room" and "Straight Guise"

"Tell me how you were loved, and I’ll tell you how you make love" Esther Perel

Relationship Classes and Workshops: NEW DATE 10-09-07 for Six Week Relationship Class.

Sonnet XVII: Pablo Neruda | A LOVE POEM

POLL: CAN SEXUAL ABUSE MAKE SOMEONE GAY?

Joe's Book Updates: "10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Find Real Love" goes into its 2nd printing!




For past issues of Kort's Korner go to the archives at http://casts.webvalence.com/sites/KortsKorner/

To read Joe's blogs called Outside The Kort Room and Straight Guise It is about current events, books, workshops, articles, movies and anything related to my specialties within my private practice.

Joe Kort's areas of expertise for individuals and couples are:

Individual, Group and Couple's Psychotherapy

Telephone Coaching and Consultation

Clinical Consulting and Supervision Services for Psychotherapists

Frequently Asked Questions about hiring Joe Kort for his services

Joe Kort's areas of specialties are:

Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity
Sexual Anorexia
Sexual Abuse
Straight men who have sex with men
Erotic Intelligence
Chemical Dependency
Imago Relationship Therapy
Monogamy/Nonmonogamy Issues
Breakup Recovery
Coming Out Issues
Gay Affirmative Therapy
Depression and Anxiety Disorders

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Below is my fall schedule for relationship workshop, classes and groups:

Keeping the Love You Find: A Relationship Class for Straight, Gay, & Lesbian Singles October 9 to November 13, 2007
Every Tuesday night 8-10PM
Royal Oak, MI

Getting the Love You Want (Gay and Lesbian Couples) October 19 to 21, 2007
Royal Oak, MI

Getting the Love You Want (Heterosexual Couples) November 9 to 11, 2007
Royal Oak, MI

Each workshop and class is held in the office of Joe Kort

As we watch the public humiliation of Boxer Oscar De La Hoya I wonder why are we so fascinated by the sex lives of others? Especially when they deviate from the norm of what we see in the media?

Maybe because we are fascinated at all the twists and turns sexuality can take. Voyeurs at heart, people want to know what is happening behind closed bedroom doors.

But it is more than that. All of us have sexual interests and desires and we think ours might be odd or abnormal. We don't really know it because sex isn't talked about. Even if you don't have fetishes or kinky desires, no one really knows what sexual behavior, desires and fantasies are okay or not.

What are others doing? Does it work? Do they like it? Can they face themselves--or worse their partners--the next day? These are questions we have for others and for ourselves.

Now we have a new sex scandal--Oscar De La Hoya. I had never heard of him until this. A handsome man who might have a kinky sexual fetish. So what? I feel so much for him that I won't link or post to any of the sites that show him posing as "Goldie" for the camera. That is so disrespectful and mean. So what if this is his fetish? Why does this make news? And since it is making news then lets at least talk about it respectfully!

Straight Guise has taken on one part of the fascination in terms of straight men who have sex with men. And there are so many more--men and women-with complicated sexual fantasies and desires.

To read more go to Oscar De La Hoya Scandal

Authors Esther Perel, Michael Bader, Jack Morin and Robert Stoller help us make sense as to why we all have the kinds of sexual fetishes and interests that we do.

NEW DATES October 9 to November 13, 2007

Every Tuesday night 8-10PM
Royal Oak, MI
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LEARN HOW TO DISARM--NOT STRONG ARM--YOUR PARTNER IN COMMUNICATION

"Getting The Love You Want" Lesbian/Gay Couples Workshop
in Royal Oak, MI

Gay and Lesbian Workshop October 19-21, 2007
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"Getting The Love You Want" Heterosexual Couples Workshop in
Royal Oak, MI

Heterosexual Couples Workshop November 9-11, 2007

Royal Oak, Michigan in Joe Kort's Office
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These workshops are for couples and singles based on the best-selling books, "Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples" and “Keeping The Love You Find: A Guide for Singles” both by Dr. Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. which can be purchased in Joe's library

ABOUT THE COUPLE'S WORKSHOPS

The couple’s workshops are worth 6 months of work and time in couple's therapy. While not a therapy weekend, it is very psycho-educational and therapeutic. You will learn several effective communication exercises which start you in the right direction to work through hard conversations and resolve conflicts with your partner

This is not group therapy of any kind.

Couples often worry that they will be asked to disclose personal information within their relationship. This is not true. The majority of the workshop is private for the couples in terms of what they are discussing. Often couples will come through the workshop and never say anything publicly about the inner workings of their relationship. There is no pressure or requirement for group sharing. The confidentiality and privacy of your relationship is assured unless you decide to disclose yourself at the workshop. This keeps the workshop safe and effective.

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Relationship Class for Straight Singles and Gay/Lesbian Singles

SIX WEEK WORKSHOP FOR STRAIGHT, LESBIAN & GAY SINGLES

Every Tuesday 8-10 pm, October 9-November 13, 2007 in Royal Oak, MI

ABOUT THE SINGLES WORKSHOP

This 6 week workshop is appropriate for singles not currently in a relationship, who are tired of making the same mistakes over and over again and want to learn the secret to finding and keeping lasting love. This workshop is all about transforming the self.

Often we are tempted to think the problem is "finding the right person”. But this workshop is all about "becoming the right person”.

This workshop is also an ideal follow-up workshop for those who have taken the couples workshop. Couples have gone through this workshop together after the couple’s workshop. It is a great opportunity to reflect on one's self within the relationship.

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For more information about cost and times and/or to register for the Relationship Classes and Workshops go to REGISTRATION

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GROUP THERAPY OPENINGS FOR GAY MEN ARE ALSO AVAILABLE.
Tuesdays 5:30 to 7:30PMRoyal Oak, MI

For more information go to http://www.joekort.com/tgroup1.htm.
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I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
So I love you because I know no other way.

but this,
where I do not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

To purchase his book of poems go to 100 Love Sonnets by Pablo Neruda

To read about sexual abuse go to Joe Kort Article on Sexual Abuse

Introduction
Start Your Hero's Journey and Let Your Initiation Begin!
Chapter 1
Live in Integrity and Be Accountable to Yourself and Your Partner
Chapter 2
Become the Man You Were Meant to Be
Chapter 3
Discover How What You Hate Can Help You Love
Chapter 4
Go from a Gay Boy to a Gay Man with Your Father
Chapter 5
Recognize the Difference Between Mommy Nearest, Mommy Dearest, and Mommy Queerest
Chapter 6
Learn How To Disarm--Not Strong-arm--Your Partner In Communication
Chapter 7
Know Your Sexual Shadow
Chapter 8
Understand the New Mixed Marriage: When Three's a Crowd
Chapter 9
How to Call It Quits Without Being a Quitter
Chapter 10
Bring Your Own Shadow

By showing how to look closely at the deepest sources of your wants and needs,
"10 SMART THINGS GAY MEN CAN DO TO FIND REAL LOVE"
will help you achieve the kind of lasting close relationships you deserve.

Visit Joe's library to purchase the book.
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"10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Improve Their Lives

Introduction
What Works? And What Doesn’t
Chapter 1
Take Charge of Their Own Lives
Chapter 2
Affirm Themselves by Coming Out
Chapter 3
Resolve Differences With Parents and Relatives
Chapter 4
"Graduate" From Delayed Adolescence
Chapter 5
Avoid-or Overcome-Sexual Addiction
Chapter 6
Learn from Successful Mentors Who've Been There, Done That
Chapter 7
Take Advantage of "Therapy Workouts"
Chapter 8
Achieve-and Maintain-Rewarding Relationships
Chapter 9
Understand the Stages of Loves
Chapter 10
Commit to Their Partner

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Foreign translations of Joe's First Book

"10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Improve Their Lives" was originally published in 2003. In 2004 it was translated in both German and in Spanish.

Each of these books can be ordered at Joe's Books
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Click on the images of the books to purchase Joe's two published books at Joe's library .
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Now ready for PRE-ORDER:

Gay Affirmative Therapy for the Straight Clinician:
The Essential Guide

In press
from WW Norton Books due out in 2008*

The FIRST BOOK for helping straight clinicians work with Gays and Lesbians
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As a psychotherapist, if you have gay and lesbian clients,

It’s not enough to be gay-friendly.

The fact is, even the best intentioned therapists have some level of homophobia to overcome.

From birth, heterosexist culture imprints us to think that heterosexuality is primary, and that any other orientation is inferior.

It’s not even enough to be gay yourself.

Gay or straight, we’re taught the homo-negative belief that the "alternate lifestyle" of being gay is a more difficult way to live. But the "alternative" of living heterosexually is actually harder for gay men and lesbians, and can lead only to depression and self-defeating, or even self-destructive behaviors.

Learn the issues that gay men and lesbians face.

They may surprise you!

To pre-order click here >>> "Gay Affirmative Therapy for the Straight Clinician: The Essential Guide" by Joe Kort, MSW, LMSW

This book will offer skills and information to straight therapist working with gay, bisexual and lesbian clients. It is not enough to be gay friendly. It is crucial that therapists be armed with the facts and information to do effective work with their gay, lesbian and bisexual clients.

It is based on my work with Gay and Lesbian clients, my own personal journey as a gay male and psychotherapist of 21 years, along with the information I teach at Wayne State University's School of Social Work on Lesbian and Gay Studies
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Autographed Books

You can purchase an autographed copy of Joe's books by using a credit card or sending a check, money order to

Joe Kort, LMSW, 25600 Woodward Ave., Suite 218, Royal Oak, MI 48067

$25 per book (includes shipping and handling)
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If you want to book a signing or workshop anywhere in your area please feel free to contact me at joekort@joekort.com or 248-399-7317.