Listening Leaders Archived Edition

January 11, 2006

LISTENING LEADERS PRACTICE & PERFECT PATIENCE

Listening Leaders® recognize “patience is a virtue” and, those who stay cool under fire enjoy greater listening and leading success. History is replete with stories and advice regarding the importance of patience, which based on the Latin “pati” means “to suffer.” Patience calls for the bearing of pains or trials calmly or without complaint.

For some, the practice and pursuit of perfection of patience is an enduring challenge, for their very nature is to move swiftly with limited information and/or understanding regardless of the circumstances.

Fortunately for others, the challenge of listening and leading with patience has been mastered under normal circumstances. Yet under stressful conditions, their patience turns to impatience and their listening suffers.

Of course, a limited number of Listening Leaders® have largely mastered the skill of exhibiting patience regardless of the circumstances. Yet, there is opportunity for all to grow.

The recent tragedy at the Sago Mines at Tallmansville, West Virginia, and the resulting confusion and miscommunication that confused the media and the world, while exacerbating the trauma and grief of surviving family members, highlights the unparalleled importance of patience in listening at all times.

When message receivers are hopeful for the best, regardless of improbable odds, grief fuels the impatient desire of listening for any desired “good news.” Without identifying and confirming the validity of the message source and/or veracity of the meaning, impatient listeners grasp at every straw of positive information. In moments of grief, hope springs eternal.

Although as Georges Bernanos so aptly observed, “”Hope is a risk that must be run.” Patient listeners will be wise to remember the counsel of Euripides who noted in 405 B. C., “Ten thousand men possess ten thousand hopes. A few bear fruit in happiness; the others go away.”

Add unfounded rumor with hope and the task of clear and patient listening is heightened. For as Vergil observed in Aeneid in 30-19 B. C., “Rumor goes forth at once, rumor than whom no other speedier evil thing exists; she thrives by rapid movement, and acquires strength as she goes; small at the first from fear, she presently uplifts herself aloft, and stalks upon the ground and hides her head among the clouds.”

Onida reinforced the power of rumor in Wisdom, Wit and Pathos in 1884, “A cruel story runs on wheels, and every hand oils the wheels as they run.” When grief and hope are coupled with unfounded rumor, patient listening becomes imperative.

To that end, in our mission of “Advancing listening leadership throughout the world,” we invite and challenge Listening Leaders® everywhere to commit to the practice and pursuit of perfecting patience throughout the New Year.

LISTENING LEADER KNOWLEDGE NUGGET: Listening Leaders® pursue the perfection of patience.

The value and importance of patient listening has been illustrated for years in James Baldwin’s wonderful story, “For Want of a Horseshoe Nail.” The famous legend and rhyme regarding the defeat and death of King Richard III, was immortalized by William Shakespeare’s unforgettable line: “A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!”

The lesson for Listening Leaders® everywhere lies in King Richard’s impatience and his groom’s failure to listen. Preparing to engage an army led by Henry, Earl of Richmond, that would determine who would rule England, King Richard III, sent his groom to prepare his favorite horse.

“Shoe the King’s horse quickly,” the groom instructed the blacksmith. “You’ll have to wait…I’ve got to get more iron,” the blacksmith answered. Failing to listen, the groom shouted impatiently, “I can’t wait …make do with what you have.”

So the blacksmith bent to his task and from a bar of iron he made four horseshoes. When he began to nail them on, he discovered he did not have enough nails to nail the fourth shoe. “I need one or two more nails and it will take some time to hammer them out,” he said.

“I told you I can’t wait,” the groom responded impatiently. “I hear the trumpets now. Can’t you just use what you have?” “Yes, but I can’t be certain it will hold,” answered the blacksmith. “Well then, just nail it on,” the groom shouted. “And hurry or King Richard will be angry with us both.”

And thus, in the thick of the Battle of Bosworth Field in 1485, as King Richard’s horse lost a shoe and the battle was lost, history gained a lesson in patient listening and taking meaningful action. As children everywhere have heard: “For want of a nail, a shoe was lost, for want of a shoe a horse was lost, for want of a horse, a battle was lost, for want of a battle, a kingdom was lost.

And, we might add, for want of only a few patient listeners, history was altered. For as Leo Tolstoy so wisely stated in his epic historical novel War and Peace, “The strongest of all warriors are these two─Time and Patience.”

Thus, the important lesson for all Listening Leaders® inclined to practice and pursue perfection of listening patience, lies in the irrefutable wisdom of Francis Quarles expressed 400 years ago, “My soul, sit thou a patient looker-on; Judge not the play before the play is done: Her plot hath many changes; every day Speaks a new scene; the last act crowns the play.”

LISTENING LEADER TIP OF THE WEEK: Practice and perfect your listening patience.

GOLDEN CIRCLE LISTENING LEADERS QUOTES OF THE WEEK:

Patience and the mulberry leaf becomes a silk gown ~ Chinese Proverb
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet ~ Lida Clarkson
Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly ~ Confucius
We can outrun the wind and the storm, but we cannot outrun the demon of hurry ~ John Burroughs
If you believed more in life you would fling yourself less to the moment ~ Nietzsche
Our patience will achieve more than our force ~ Edmund Burke
How poor are they that have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degree ~ Shakespeare
I will be the pattern of all patience ~ Shakespeare
The fates have given mankind a patient soul ~ Homer
Rumor is untraceable, incalculable, and infectious ~ Margot Asquith
Where there is clarity and wisdom, there is neither fear nor ignorance. Where there is patience and humility, there is neither anger nor vexation. Where there is poverty and joy, there is neither greed nor avarice. Where there is peace and meditation, there is neither anxiety nor doubt. ~ St. Francis of Assisi

A LISTENING LEADER GIGGLE:

In a recent HAGAR the horrible cartoon, Dik Browne has HAGAR walking along the countryside talking to himself. HAGAR says:

“Lately there aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do all the things Helga wants me to do.”

“I run from morning till night! I wish I could slow down!”

“Why is everyone in such a hurry? Why can’t we just slow down and reflect?”

“Why do we seem to be in a race against time? Everything is HURRY! HURRY! HURRY!”

“And the worst part is that… NO ONE WILL LISTEN!!”

When out of the sky, a perplexed HAGAR heard a booming voice,

“I’ll Listen, but could you hurry? I have others waiting.”

A LISTENING LEADERS KUDOS:

Congratulations and Kudos to every patient Listening Leader® who extends the gift of thoughtful attention and a meaningful listening experience to all you serve. Time is precious and so are you!

WE ARE LISTENING and invite your action:

Together, we can change the listening attitudes, skills, and knowledge of leaders throughout the world. We appreciate and invite your assistance in expanding our listening leader’s connections. Eight simple steps in advancing this important movement include:

To help you and your colleagues, family, and friends who choose to become more patient listeners, we invite a review of pages 61 and 342-344 in our Listening Leaders book which is available at www.listeningleaders.com/leader

Forward this newsletter to your children, grand children, friends and colleagues. More important, invite them to Subscribe to the “complimentary and weekly” newsletter by going to www.listeningleaders.com

Send us your listening leader insights, examples and stories

Start a Listening Leaders Reading and Discussion Group. Invite your Librarian to purchase our Award winning LISTENING LEADER book.

As meeting, conference, and convention attendees spend the bulk of their time listening, please let others know of our availability to Keynote Conventions and customize Listening Leader Workshops.

Invite us to identify specific needs for listening development of leaders in your organizations.

Ask about our proven listening leader training programs and our customized in-house train-the-trainer strategies and our new Certification program. We can help, we are committed, and we are listening.

Listen, Lead On & Make Today Count! – Manny & Rick

__________________________________________________________________

LISTENING LEADERS: THE TEN GOLDEN RULES
TO LISTEN, LEAD & SUCCEED

By Dr. Lyman K. Steil
& Dr. Richard K. Bommelje

Publisher: Beaver’s Pond Press
(ISBN 1-59298-073-2)

A pioneering book that directly connects listening with leadership.Based on more than 50 collective years of work with listening leaders throughout the world, Dr. Steil and Dr. Bommelje have created 10 practical, proven, and priceless rules to enhance everyone's listening and leadership success. Although outstanding leaders are outstanding listeners, most leaders have neglected the development of their listening attitudes, skills and knowledge.

“This is the most significant book ever written on listening and leadership and will profit leaders at all levels in all types of organizations and enterprises.” Dr. Ralph Nichols, Father of the Field of Listening

ORDER YOUR COPY at www.ListeningLeaders.com or www.amazon.com

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Dr. Lyman K. (Manny) Steil
25 Robb Farm Road
St. Paul, MN 55127
651-483-3597
LKS@ListeningLeaders.com

Dr. Richard K. (Rick) Bommelje
8530 Amber Oak Dr
Orlando, FL 32817
407-679-7280
RKB@ListeningLeaders.com

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