Listening Leaders Archived Edition

January 18, 2006

LISTENING LEADERS INTENTIONALLY IDENTIFY INTENTIONS

Listening Leaders® operate on the simple fact that all communication is intention based.” Intentions drive everything.

As Rev. Martin Luther King observed, “If a man hasn’t discovered something that he will die for, he isn’t fit to live. Put another way, motives move mountains, and it is always wise to heed the advice of the British novelist, J. M. Barrie, who said, “Never ascribe to an opponent motives meaner than your own.”

We have observed how successful listeners seem to focus on every speaker’s specific motives and intentions, as well as their own listening motives and intentions. When speakers and listeners motives and intentions coincide, communication results will be constructive. When motives and intentions differ, communication will fail. The critical challenge and opportunity for all servant leaders who are motivated to enhance communication through effective listening resides in matching purposes, motives, and intentions.

To illustrate the point, Mark Twain was correct more than a century ago, when he noted: “The United Senate is a place where people stand up and say nothing, nobody listens, yet everyone argues over what was said.”

Observing the recent two-day Senatorial Judicial Committee’s questioning of the latest Supreme Court nominee reminded us of Twain’s insight and the imperative importance of identifying and matching intentions. As a recent Editorial headline in USA TODAY trumpeted, “From Senators, too much talk, too little listening,” and “From Alito, minimum words, maximum cover.”

Obviously, but sadly, the majority of leaders on both sides of the aisle wasted substantial amounts of time bloviating and pontificating in rambling, self-indulgent pompous speeches, rather than engaging in productive inquiry and allowing time for meaningful answers to clarify important positions. Like communication everywhere, without mutual and shared motives and intent of all parties, such confirmation hearings simply became a mass kabuki dance.

LISTENING LEADER KNOWLEDGE NUGGET: Listening Leaders® intentionally identify everyone’s motives and intentions.

The lesson for every Listening Leader® who desires to enjoy greatness in the 21st Century is to focus on the good and right intent of every meaningful communication interaction. Or, as James I, the 17th Century King of England, so aptly said, “The intention makes the lie, not the words.” Intentions underlie all words.

Finding and matching meaningful intent requires combining that which is good and that which is right. A classic example of listening for and to voices which result in greatness because they connect the good with the right combined, was captured by the wisdom of Alexis de Tocqueville, when he wrote:

“I sought the greatness and genius of America in her commodious harbors and her ample rivers─and it was not there…in her fertile fields and boundless forests─and it was not there…in her rich mines and her vast world commerce─ and it was not there…in her democratic Congress and her matchless Constitution…and it was not there. Not until I went into the churches of America and heard her pulpits flame with righteousness, did I understand the secret of her genius and power. America is great because she is good, and if America ever ceases to be good, America will cease to be great.”

Listening greatness results when driven by the insightful observation of Blaise Pascal, the French philosopher and mathematician, who observed, “The heart has its reasons which reason does not know.” True of course, yet we know motives and intentions drive all.

Thus, the important lesson for all Listening Leaders® who are driven to be right, good, and great simply requires the conscious and consistent commitment of intentionally identifying intentions. Anything less and meaningful connection will be lost. For as Thomas Carlyle so aptly counseled, “The man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder.”

LISTENING LEADER TIP OF THE WEEK: Identify your purpose, motive and intent for listening, and compare it with every speaker’s purpose, motive and intent.

GOLDEN CIRCLE LISTENING LEADERS QUOTES OF THE WEEK:

The road to hell is paved with good intentions ~ Chinese Proverb
I may not always have done what was right, but at least I had good intentions ~ Rousseau
The time is always right to do what is right ~ Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.
A politician thinks of the next election; a statesman thinks of the next generation ~ James Freeman Clarke
Do not hold the delusion that your advancement is accomplished by crushing others ~ Cicero
The secret of success is constancy to purpose ~ Benjamin Disraeli
I have one request: may I never use my reason against truth ~ Elie Wiesel
A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus ~ Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.
In a democracy, a man who does not listen cannot lead ~ David S. Broder
The ship which sails by every wind comes never in the harbor ~ Finnish Proverb

A LISTENING LEADER GIGGLE:

Thinking of Supreme Court Justices and intentions, we remembered an old story about Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, who upon boarding a train in Washington, lost his ticket.

Fortunately the conductor recognized him and said, “Never mind, Mr. Justice. When you find your ticket I am sure you will mail it in.”

Confused, Justice Holmes replied, “Mr. Conductor, the question is not, ‘Where is my ticket?’ but, ‘WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO BE GOING?”

In today’s world Senators on both side of the aisle would have no problem letting him know.

A LISTENING LEADERS KUDOS:

Kudos to Tor Dahl, the world’s leading expert in “productivity” for establishing Tor Dahl & Associate’s cutting-edge leadership, and advancing productivity throughout the world. We appreciate Tor’s positive feedback and addition to our recent “Listening Leaders Practice & Perfect Patience” Newsletter, in which we discussed, “For the want of a nail, a kingdom was lost.”

As a proud and productive representative of his Norwegian heritage, Tor “reminded us of the time when the Viking King, Sigurd Jorsalfar, arrived in Miklagard, or Instanbul. He was completely surrounded by Turks as he rode ahead of his small army of Vikings.

However, he had seen to it that one horseshoe was only loosely fastened to one hoof of his horse, and would fall off during the parade. The horseshoe was made of solid gold. It made quite an impression on the Emir and King Sigurd was very well received.

So, for the lack of a nail, an army was saved.”

Thanks Tor. We love additional feedback and ideas from our Listening Leader Newsletter subscribers. It is nice to know that leaders have been identifying and managing intentions throughout the ages.

WE ARE LISTENING TO YOU:

Together, we can change the listening attitudes, skills, and knowledge of leaders throughout the world. We appreciate and invite your assistance in expanding our listening leader’s connections. Eight simple steps in advancing this important movement include:

To help you and your colleagues, family, and friends who choose to intentionally identify intentions, we invite a review of Chapter 5 “Listening Leaders Find & Align Purpose,” plus pages 24,175, 180, and 197-198 in our Listening Leaders book which is available at www.listeningleaders.com/leader

Forward this newsletter to your children, grand children, friends and colleagues. More important, invite them to Subscribe to the “complimentary and weekly” newsletter by going to www.listeningleaders.com

Send us your listening leader insights, examples and stories.

Start a Listening Leaders Reading and Discussion Group. Invite your Librarian to purchase our Award winning LISTENING LEADER book.

As meeting, conference, and convention attendees spend the bulk of their time listening, please let others know of our availability to Keynote Conventions and customize Listening Leader Workshops.

Invite us to identify specific needs for listening development of leaders in your organizations.

Ask about our proven listening leader training programs and our customized in-house train-the-trainer strategies and our new Certification program.

We can help, we are committed, and we are listening.

Listen, Lead On & Make Today Count! – Manny & Rick

__________________________________________________________________

LISTENING LEADERS: THE TEN GOLDEN RULES
TO LISTEN, LEAD & SUCCEED

By Dr. Lyman K. Steil
& Dr. Richard K. Bommelje

Publisher: Beaver’s Pond Press
(ISBN 1-59298-073-2)

A pioneering book that directly connects listening with leadership.Based on more than 50 collective years of work with listening leaders throughout the world, Dr. Steil and Dr. Bommelje have created 10 practical, proven, and priceless rules to enhance everyone's listening and leadership success. Although outstanding leaders are outstanding listeners, most leaders have neglected the development of their listening attitudes, skills and knowledge.

“This is the most significant book ever written on listening and leadership and will profit leaders at all levels in all types of organizations and enterprises.” Dr. Ralph Nichols, Father of the Field of Listening

ORDER YOUR COPY at www.ListeningLeaders.com or www.amazon.com

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Dr. Lyman K. (Manny) Steil
25 Robb Farm Road
St. Paul, MN 55127
651-483-3597
LKS@ListeningLeaders.com

Dr. Richard K. (Rick) Bommelje
8530 Amber Oak Dr
Orlando, FL 32817
407-679-7280
RKB@ListeningLeaders.com

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