Listening Leaders Archived Edition

February 1, 2006

LISTENING LEADERS AVOID ARROGANCE

Listening Leaders® profit by astutely avoiding the listening death trap of arrogance.

Although there are numerous barriers to effective listening behaviors, nothing destroys productive listening as quickly, and as surely, as an attitude of arrogance. Individuals who are unduly proud, haughty, imperious, and dogmatic never enjoy the just rewards experienced by productive Listening Leaders®. Simple observation clarifies that arrogance claims much for itself and concedes little to others. In the world of listening and leading, arrogance generally begins with a presumed false attitude and ends with counter-productive action.

Unfortunately for many unproductive leaders, arrogance is coupled with the debilitating force of unwarranted pride, in which individuals develop an overstated sense of their own greatness. In turn, such pride leads to disdain of others and the presumption of privilege above one’s legitimate and deserved right. Ultimately the slippery slope of arrogance destroys any and every opportunity for listening and leading.

Moreover, arrogant listeners miss the opportunity to learn from the knowledge and insightful experiences of others. As we have noted over the decades, “When we talk, we only learn what we already know. When we listen, we hold the opportunity to learn what others know.” Unfortunately, the arrogant leader doesn’t listen to anyone because they believe they hold all the answers.

In addition, arrogant leaders are wary of criticism of any sort. As a consequence, they miss the profound 16th century advice of the French philosopher, Michel Eyquem de Montaigne, who wrote:

“We need two very strong ears to hear ourselves judged frankly, and because there are few who can endure frank criticism without being stung by it, those who venture to criticize us perform a remarkable act of friendship, for to undertake to wound or offend a man for his own good is to have a healthy love for him.” Or, for many as Franklin Jones astutely asserts, “Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.”

The adverse end result of any leader’s practiced attitude of arrogance, unwarranted pride, disdain of others, and unwillingness to embrace meaningful criticism is illustrated in a variety of negative listening behaviors.

First, the assumption of omnipotence leads arrogant leaders to listen primarily to themselves and seldom to others.

Second, the arrogant leader’s assumption of privilege and paralyzing pride further exacerbates their closed-mindedness and failure to listen.

Third, when arrogant leaders believe they have all of the correct answers, they tend to surround themselves primarily with a small circle of “yes men and women” who are reluctant to share additional facts or contradict premature conclusions. As a consequence, criticism of arrogant leader’s thoughts, ideas, plans, or projected actions are seldom shared directly.

Fourth, in spite of suffering at the Sensing level of listening, arrogant leaders believe they fully understand the big picture and, thus error at the Interpretation and Evaluation stages.

Fifth, although arrogant leaders Respond with costly actions, their pride forces the focus of blame upon others. Seldom do we hear arrogant leaders willingly take the blame or the fall. Thus, while they learn little, others suffer greatly.

Conversely, “Golden Circle Listening Leaders®” eradicate every force and trace of arrogance, presumption of privilege, and disdain of others. Rather they broaden their respect and search for the invaluable ideas and insights of those they lead.

LISTENING LEADER KNOWLEDGE NUGGET: Listening Leaders® alter attitudes of arrogance.

Although history is replete with an abundant number of examples of arrogant leaders who have not, do not, and probably will not listen, Saddam Hussein seems to be the perfect “Arrogant Poster Boy” of the moment.

Coupled with the presumption of pride, privilege, and power, Saddam’s arrogance has been in play for decades. As Saddam’s neighbors, opponents, and victims, the United Nations Security Council, and Iraq’s latest Chief Judge, Raouf Rasheed Abdel-Rahmans have discovered, Saddam refuses to listen to anyone who chooses to tell him anything he doesn’t want to hear. In the words of an old Hebrew proverb, “Pride is the mask of one’s own faults.”

Remove Saddam’s arrogance and one can easily imagine the avoidance of years of bloodshed, injury, loss of life, and untold heartache. Temper his undeserved pride and self-appointed privilege, and Saddam might have been open to legitimate criticism. Moreover, if he had carefully listened to others he might have engaged in the opportunity of constructive dialogue. For, as all productive Listening Leaders® know, openness to criticism and respect for others is a required state of mind and a desired course of action.

For, as Nietzsche succinctly observed, “In all institutions from which the cold wind of open criticism is excluded, an innocent corruption begins to grow like a mushroom, for example in senates and learned societies.” Avoidance of criticism is deadly as, arrogance is fed by continued ignorance. Because as Aldous Huxley so wisely explained, “Most ignorance is vincible ignorance. We don’t know because we don’t want to know.”

Thus, the important lesson for all who desire to serve in the ranks of Listening Leaders® remains, “Serve Others.” Or, as Sir Cecil Arthur Spring-Rice so aptly wrote in the Last Poem, “I vow to thee, my country─ all earthly things above─Entire and whole and perfect, the service of my love.”

LISTENING LEADER TIP OF THE WEEK: Respect, honor, and listen to others.

GOLDEN CIRCLE LISTENING LEADERS QUOTES OF THE WEEK:

Arrogance in persons of merit affronts us more than arrogance in those without merit ~ Nietzsche
The need to be right is the sign of a vulgar mind ~ Camus
He was like the cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow ~ George Eliot
The bullet that is to kill me has not yet been molded ~ Napoleon Bonaparte
All men think all men are mortal, but themselves ~ Edward Young
Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall ~ Proverbs 16:18
There is false modesty, but there is no false pride ~ Jules Renard
Self love is the greatest of all flatterers ~ Duc de la Rochefoucauld
Man is what he believes ~ Chekhov

A LISTENING LEADER GIGGLE:

Our most consistent and highly valued contributor to the Listening Leaders Newsletter, Terry Johnston reminded us that arrogance resides in organizations as well as individuals.

As the Income Tax season is drawing near, you might want to remember that when you combine two words, “THE” and “IRS”….it spells “THEIRS.”

Unfortunately that is arrogance with the power of the law!

A LISTENING LEADERS KUDOS:

Kudos to Dr. Ned Windmiller, who is one of the least arrogant individuals you will ever meet. As a nationally recognized leading restorative and cosmetic dentist in Stillwater, Minnesota, Dr. Windmiller understands that service to others is the ultimate name of the game. By reputation, Dr. Windmiller is revered by his professional colleagues, his staff, and his patients. By practice and every measure, he has astutely avoided the blinding malady of false pride.

Of course he is proud of his talents and skills and accomplishments, but like all Golden Circle Listening Leaders®, Dr. Windmiller understands that his ultimate worth lies in the leadership and service of others. Egocentricity has no place in the listening world of leaders like Dr. Windmiller.

Other-centeredness reigns, so if you desire excellent dental care and/or a model for a non-arrogant Listening Leader® call Dr. Windmiller. He is another excellent model of a Golden Circle Listening Leader® who is valued by many.

LISTENING LEADERS WORKSHOP COMING TO CENTRAL FLORIDA - MARCH 8, 2006. For brochure, please send an email to RKB@ListeningLeaders.com

WE ARE LISTENING and invite your action:

Together, we can change the listening attitudes, skills, and knowledge of leaders throughout the world. We appreciate and invite your assistance in expanding our listening leader’s connections. Eight simple steps in advancing this important movement include:

Consider 3 measures: a.) Who do you know who is arrogant? b.) Who would consider you arrogant? c.) How does arrogance interfere with their or your listening and leading?

Forward this newsletter to your children, grand children, friends and colleagues. More important, invite them to Subscribe to the “complimentary and weekly” newsletter by going to www.listeningleaders.com

Send us your listening leader insights, examples and stories

Start a Listening Leaders Reading and Discussion Group. Invite your Librarian to purchase our Award winning LISTENING LEADER book.

As meeting, conference, and convention attendees spend the bulk of their time listening, please let others know of our availability to Keynote Conventions and customize Listening Leader Workshops.

Invite us to identify specific needs for listening development of leaders in your organizations.

Ask about our proven listening leader training programs and our customized in-house train-the-trainer strategies and our new Certification program.

We can help, we are committed, and we are listening.

Listen, Lead On & Make Today Count! – Manny & Rick

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LISTENING LEADERS: THE TEN GOLDEN RULES
TO LISTEN, LEAD & SUCCEED

By Dr. Lyman K. Steil
& Dr. Richard K. Bommelje

Publisher: Beaver’s Pond Press
(ISBN 1-59298-073-2)

A pioneering book that directly connects listening with leadership.Based on more than 50 collective years of work with listening leaders throughout the world, Dr. Steil and Dr. Bommelje have created 10 practical, proven, and priceless rules to enhance everyone's listening and leadership success. Although outstanding leaders are outstanding listeners, most leaders have neglected the development of their listening attitudes, skills and knowledge.

“This is the most significant book ever written on listening and leadership and will profit leaders at all levels in all types of organizations and enterprises.” Dr. Ralph Nichols, Father of the Field of Listening

ORDER YOUR COPY at www.ListeningLeaders.com or www.amazon.com

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Dr. Lyman K. (Manny) Steil
25 Robb Farm Road
St. Paul, MN 55127
651-483-3597
LKS@ListeningLeaders.com

Dr. Richard K. (Rick) Bommelje
8530 Amber Oak Dr
Orlando, FL 32817
407-679-7280
RKB@ListeningLeaders.com

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