Listening Leaders Archived Edition

February 22, 2006

LISTENING LEADERS KNOW HOW TO SAY NO

Listening Leaders® understand the value of selectively knowing when and how to say “No!”

Periodically outstanding leaders are faced with the task of knowing when to reject the requests, orders, threats, and demands of others. In addition, they know how to say “No!” in a positive and productive manner.

As the first and foremost obligation of all listeners is to listen and lead themselves, every Listening Leader® must first satisfy the primary task of establishing a personal and clear-cut moral compass. Knowing right from wrong, legal from illegal, moral from immoral and acceptable from unacceptable behavior is a required starting point.

The task of developing a guiding moral compass demands concentrated thought and focus, for as Mark Twain observed in his Seventieth Birthday “Morals are an acquirement ─ like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis ─ no man is born with them.”

Recognizing immoral, illegal, and unacceptable suggestions, directives, requests, orders, and demands when they are stated by others is the second challenge of all Listening Leaders®. Such multi-faceted challenges are great, particularly in today’s world of self-interests, greed, obfuscation, spin, half-truths, and out-right lies. In the 21st century, laser-like listening is more important than any time in the history of the world.

As a consequence, Listening Leaders® must strengthen their commitment and ability to deny the immoral, illegal, and inappropriate directions and demands of others. Action oriented resistance is required and the ability to say, “No!” must be refined and embraced. It is simply not enough to have a clear-cut moral compass. Nor is it sufficient to identify messages and message senders who violate your positive values. In certain moments, the ultimate listening task requires the development of a strong backbone and the ability to stand-up and simply say “No!”

Effective Listening Leaders® must refine the skill of taking meaningful and appropriate action. In the words of Francis Bacon, “Be so true to thyself, as thou be not false to others.”

LISTENING LEADER KNOWLEDGE NUGGET: Listening Leaders® develop the courage to say “no” when “yes” is wrong.

In every field and enterprise, strong leaders hold strong opinions and display strong wills. In the fields of business, education, government, religion, military, finance, technology, and the arts, strong voices abound. In many cases, some positioned leaders operate with the expectation of absolute acquiescence.

As Lyndon B. Johnson's White House Press Secretary, George Reedy, observed: “You know that nobody is strong minded around a President…it is always: ‘yes sir, no sir’ and the ‘no sir’ comes when he asks whether you’re dissatisfied.”

Recent corporate failures of Enron, WorldCom, Tyco, and Global Crossing can be traced to the corrupt actions of a limited number of individuals in leadership positions, who chose to listen to the siren song of power, greed, and riches. Yet the failure of these businesses might have been avoided had their surrounding and supporting listeners simply stood up and said, “No!”

The impact of misguided, greedy, and spineless leaders is obvious in the collapse of Enron, the nation's biggest financial scandal since the savings-and-loan failures of the late 1980’s. In 2001, Enron moved from America’s seventh largest company, a $100-billion-a-year company, to bankruptcy.

As veteran New York Times financial journalist Kurt Eichenwald discussed Enron’s fall in Conspiracy of Fools, federal regulators opened the doors for the Enron fraud early on when they relaxed Enron’s accounting rules. No one listened and said “No!” In addition, Enron bullied Wall Street firms into issuing favorable reports about its share price by threatening to take away lucrative banking fees, and no one listened and said “No.”

As the drama continues to unfold in numerous court proceedings, it is obvious that several Enron employees passed when they had the opportunity to listen and say “No!” Consider the recent testimony of Kenneth Rice who pleaded guilty to security fraud in 2004. Rice, a former member of Enron’s inner circle who reported to the ex-CEO Jeffrey Skilling, never felt he could tell Mr. Skilling, “No!”

According to Rice’s sworn testimony “When he told Skilling in late 2000 that 2001 losses would reach $110 million, Skilling told him to limit them to $65 million.” Even though Rice’s highly touted broadband unit was failing miserably, Rice said, “He felt he had to agree, even though the business was failing.” Evidently the option to listen and say “No!” never crossed his mind.

Of course the act of standing strong on principle’s and saying “No!” has it’s rewards and consequences for all. The consequence is that many strong-willed leaders do not like to be told “No!” and positions and careers can be adversely impacted. On the other hand, the rewards for Listening Leaders® are both clear and compelling, as they stay true to all that is right, they will sleep well and stay out of jail for many nights.

All for the price of listening and periodically saying “No!”

LISTENING LEADER TIP OF THE WEEK: Beware of leaders who surround themselves with “yes-men.”

GOLDEN CIRCLE LISTENING LEADERS QUOTES OF THE WEEK:

The quality of moral behaviour varies in inverse ratio to the number of human beings involved ~ Aldous Huxley
Whenever two good people argue over principles, they are both right ~ Marie Ebner von Eschenbach
Intelligence may get you to the top, but character will keep you there ~ George Knuteson
This above all: to thine own self be true ~ William Shakespeare
The unexamined life is not worth living ~ Socrates
To deceive oneself is very easy ~ Proverb
We seldom attribute common sense except to those who agree with us ~ Duc de la Rochefoucauld
It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees ~ Dolores Ibarruri
What is a rebel? A man who says no ~ Albert Camus

A LISTENING LEADER GIGGLE:

Golden Circle Listening Leader® George Knuteson shared the following poem to illustrate how illegal desires often end with illegal results. Some can never say “No!”

“THE PICKPOCKETS’ DREAM COME TRUE”

Two pickpockets met in a subway train Each picking the other’s pocket. The woman crook got his pocketbook The man got her diamond locket.

Admiring each other, they fell in love They married, for better or worse. They dreamed for a lad who could snag a bag Or pilfer a Scotsman’s purse!

Their dream came true: A boy was born A slick looking sly-faced mite. But, Alas! Alack! With crippled hand His fingers were closed up tight.

The heartbroken couple hurried the babe To a famous specialist And offered him diamonds and precious jewels If he could unclench the fist.

The first thing he did was to tie a string To a watch with jeweled band. Then he passed, slowly, back and forth, Just over the crippled hand.

As the little fingers began to unfold The mother and father began to dance and sing. For there in the palm of the baby’s hand Was the midwife’s diamond ring!

A LISTENING LEADERS KUDOS:

Kudos to Golden Circle Listening Leaders® Dee Steil and Quin Bommelje for their invaluable service as effective individual leaders and wonderful role models. They have finely developed moral compasses, skills as model listeners, and the knowledge and strength to know when and how to say “No!.”

For decades their service as Listening Leaders® has positively impacted everyone who has ever enjoyed the privilege of knowing, working, or living with them. As Listening Leaders® they truly know how to “Listen, Lead & Succeed” in the quest to…”Make Today Count!”

Congratulations and many thanks Quin and Dee for your service to so many!

WE ARE LISTENING and invite your action:

LISTENING LEADERS WORKSHOP COMING TO CENTRAL FLORIDA - MARCH 8, 2006. For brochure, please send an email to RKB@ListeningLeaders.com

Together, we can change the listening attitudes, skills, and knowledge of leaders throughout the world. We appreciate and invite your assistance in expanding our listening leader’s connections. Eight simple steps in advancing this important movement include:

Identify your moral standards and practice your skills of saying “No!” when you are asked or directed to violate them.

Forward this newsletter to your children, grandchildren, friends and colleagues. More important, invite them to Subscribe to the “complimentary and weekly” newsletter by going to www.listeningleaders.com

Send us your listening leader insights, examples and stories.

Start a Listening Leaders Reading and Discussion Group. Invite your Librarian to purchase our Award winning LISTENING LEADER book.

As meeting, conference, and convention attendees spend the bulk of their time listening, please let others know of our availability to Keynote Conventions and customize Listening Leader Workshops.

Invite us to identify specific needs for listening development of leaders in your organizations.

Ask about our proven listening leader training programs and our customized in-house train-the-trainer strategies and our new Certification program.

We can help, we are committed, and we are listening.

Listen, Lead On & Make Today Count! – Manny & Rick

__________________________________________________________________

LISTENING LEADERS: THE TEN GOLDEN RULES
TO LISTEN, LEAD & SUCCEED

By Dr. Lyman K. Steil
& Dr. Richard K. Bommelje

Publisher: Beaver’s Pond Press
(ISBN 1-59298-073-2)

A pioneering book that directly connects listening with leadership.Based on more than 50 collective years of work with listening leaders throughout the world, Dr. Steil and Dr. Bommelje have created 10 practical, proven, and priceless rules to enhance everyone's listening and leadership success. Although outstanding leaders are outstanding listeners, most leaders have neglected the development of their listening attitudes, skills and knowledge.

“This is the most significant book ever written on listening and leadership and will profit leaders at all levels in all types of organizations and enterprises.” Dr. Ralph Nichols, Father of the Field of Listening

ORDER YOUR COPY at www.ListeningLeaders.com or www.amazon.com

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Dr. Lyman K. (Manny) Steil
25 Robb Farm Road
St. Paul, MN 55127
651-483-3597
LKS@ListeningLeaders.com

Dr. Richard K. (Rick) Bommelje
8530 Amber Oak Dr
Orlando, FL 32817
407-679-7280
RKB@ListeningLeaders.com

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