Listening Leaders Archived Edition

May 3, 2007

LISTENING LEADERS METICULOUSLY MATCH MESSAGE MEANINGS

Listening Leaders® are rigorous in making sure their perceived meaning matches the intended meaning of those they listen to. Until senders and receivers enjoy relatively matched meanings, there is little opportunity for truly meaningful communication. Of course, the challenge of matching meanings remains constant, for the ultimate meaning of every message resides within both speakers and listeners.

Over the years, numerous scholarly semanticists and communication experts have studied the importance of understanding the issue of “message meaning.” In the words of former Michigan State University Professor David Berlo, “The concept of meaning is central to communication.” Like many, Berlo believed “It can be argued that the major concern of communication is meaning.”

Moreover, Berlo argued “that meanings are not in messages, that meaning is not something which is discoverable, that words do not really mean anything at all, that dictionaries do not and cannot provide us with meanings.”

Rather, Berlo argued that “meanings ultimately reside within people, that meanings are covert responses, contained within the human organism. Meanings are learned. They are personal, our own property. We learn meanings, we add to them, we distort them, forget them, and change them. We cannot find them. They are in us, not in messages.” Or as Ben Johnson advised, “Weigh the meaning and look not at the words.”

In this vein, Listening Leaders® enjoy heightened communication success by understanding that one of the major concerns for successful listeners is “matching message meanings.” They listen with the steady mantra, “Words have no meaning. People have meaning.” Utilizing the powerful SIER model, Listening Leaders® systematically listen through seven critical steps of the comprehensive listening process. Matching meanings lies at the heart of the process.

First, and foremost, Listening Leaders® constantly assume the predominate responsibility for every communication. Second, they consciously identify and connect to the respective communication purposes at hand. Third, they understand their individual experiences, perspectives, beliefs, and biases. Fourth, they minimize conflicting distractions and ensure focused reception of sent messages. Fifth, they withhold judgment and response until their comprehension is complete. In the process, they actively and meticulously match their meaning with the senders intended meaning. Finding any disconnect, they seek clarification and make the necessary connection of matched meaning. Sixth, with matched meaning in hand, they engage judgment as required. Finally, they are relentless in responding in a meaningful manner.

As a reminder at each relentless moment, they remember Lewis Carroll’s example of the unsuccessful discussion between Alice and Humpty Dumpty:

“I don’t know what you mean by ‘glory’,” Alice said.

Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. “Of course you don’t─till I tell you. I meant ‘there’s a nice knock-down argument for you!”

“But ‘glory’ doesn’t mean ‘a nice knock-down argument,’” Alice objected.

“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather scornful tone, “it means jut what I choose it to mean─neither more nor less.”

“The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.”

“The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master─that’s all.”

Listening Leaders® choose to be masters of meaning and their listening fate.

LISTENING LEADER KNOWLEDGE NUGGET: Listening Leaders® measure and match meaning.

We appreciate thoughtful feedback from our Listening Leader readers like Nick who wondered about our oft-used statement, “Words have no meaning, people have meaning." Nick wondered, “Would this statement, or something close to it, be more accurate. Words have established meaning. If one doesn't fit what you want to communicate, choose another, combine two or use one from another language that best fits what you need to communicate." Nick’s question illustrates the focus and reflection of our Listening Leaders® Newsletter readers and resulted in the following response.

“Thanks Nick. Of course words have clearly been given specific meaning by people. And in some cases those meanings are different for different people. When my wife used to say, "I will be ready in just a minute!" I used to think it meant 60 seconds. After 44 years of wedded bliss, I have learned that her "just a minute" means anywhere from 60 seconds to 1800 seconds. In short, her "just a minute" means whatever she chooses it to mean.

Ultimately, as you observe, people can and do bring meaning to any word in any way they wish, in order to make that word fit their individual need at that moment. Just listen to a gathering of politicians, or economists, or educators, or preachers, or parents, etc.

Obviously over time, the acceptable and understandable meanings of words have, as clearly as possible, been accumulated in a multitude of dictionaries. But that simple fact has never stopped listeners from placing the ultimate meaning on the words they listen to.

A critical challenge for every listener is to utilize the SIER process and make sure their meaning matches the sender’s meaning. When we fail at the "I" level, we will fail at the higher levels. At times the disconnection makes no difference. Sometimes it is humorous, sometimes it is tragic.

As the baseball season is once again upon us, I am reminded of the old story about 3 umpires discussing the differences between balls and strikes. The first umpire said, "Some pitches are balls and some are strikes, and I call 'em they is." The second umpire said, "I disagree, some pitches are balls and some are strikes, and I call 'em the way I see 'em." The third and wiser umpire listened patiently and said, "Gentlemen, get real. Some are balls and some are strikes, but they ain't nothing until I call 'em."

I won't argue with your meaning Nick: After all, it is your meaning.

For me, I will stick with the simple observation that "Although words have meaning, ultimately the senders and receivers determine their true meaning." Thus, "Words have no meaning. People have meaning." But why disagree? Like the third umpire eventually everyone makes their meaningful call.”

In short, today’s Listening Leaders® master the task of matching meanings.

LISTENING LEADER TIP OF THE WEEK: Find your meaning and make sure it matches the sender’s meaning.

GOLDEN CIRCLE LISTENING LEADERS QUOTES OF THE WEEK:

Silence is better than unmeaning words ~ Pythagoras
Meaning is not what you start with, but what you end up with ~ Peter Elbow
It depends upon what the meaning of the word 'is' means ~ Bill Clinton
If I could tell you what it meant, there would be no point in dancing it ~ Isadora Duncan
Meanings are not determined by situations, but we determine ourselves by the meanings we give to situations ~ Alfred Adler
Good has two meanings: it means that which is good absolutely and that which is good for somebody ~ Aristotle
No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean ~ Henry Brooks Adams
Everywhere one seeks to produce meaning, to make the world signify, to render it visible. We are not, however, in danger of lacking meaning; quite the contrary, we are gorged with meaning and it is killing us ~ Jean Baudrillard

A LISTENING LEADER GIGGLE:

In the world of aviation, the safety of pilots depends on the important skills of trained mechanics. After every flight, pilots complete a form to let the mechanics know what problems need to be fixed. The mechanics correct the problems and document the repairs for the pilots review.

Pilot Complaint #1: “Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.”

Maintenance Response: “Almost replaced left inside main tire.”

Pilot Complaint #2: “Something loose in cockpit.”

Maintenance Response: “Something tightened in cockpit.”

Pilot Complaint #3: “Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.”

Maintenance Response: “Evidence removed.”

Pilot Complaint #4: “Number 3 engine missing.”

Maintenance Response: “After brief search, engine found on right wing.”

Pilot Complaint #5: “Dead bugs on windshield.”

Maintenance Response: “Live bugs on back-order.”

In the quest of matching meanings, humor is often required.

LISTENING LEADERS KUDOS

Kudos to Recognition Specialties of America, headquartered in St. Paul, Minnesota for their more than 30 years commitment to listening to, and commemorating thousands of patent recipients throughout the world. Led by RSA’s incomparable President, Dan Johnson, and the indomitable Patti Kachel, RSA is a leading provider of commemorative Patent plaques recognizing creative geniuses everywhere.

Founded in 1973, Recognition Specialties of America discovered the secret to their long-term success resides in their focused listening to their multitude of customers, clients, and suppliers. As Patti Kachel, the steady heartbeat of RSA observed: “We believe in listening and we have learned that everyone loves our personal attention. We are a little company that does big work because we are committed to making miracles happen everyday. In serving clients around the world, we know that matching meaning lies at the heart of satisfying everyone we serve.”

Congratulations Dan and Patti!

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WE ARE LISTENING and invite your action

Together, we can change the listening attitudes, skills, and knowledge of leaders throughout the world. We appreciate and invite your assistance in expanding our listening leader’s connections. Eight simple steps in advancing this important movement include:

Meticulously match meanings today….and every day.

Send us your listening leader insights, examples and stories.

Start a Listening Leaders Reading and Discussion Group. Invite your Librarian to purchase our Award winning LISTENING LEADER book.

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Invite us to identify specific needs for listening development of leaders in your organizations.

Ask about our proven listening leader training programs and our customized in-house train-the-trainer strategies and our new Certification program.

We can help, we are committed, and we are listening.

Listen, Lead On & Make Today Count! – Manny & Rick

__________________________________________________________________

LISTENING LEADERS: THE TEN GOLDEN RULES
TO LISTEN, LEAD & SUCCEED

By Dr. Lyman K. Steil
& Dr. Richard K. Bommelje

Publisher: Beaver’s Pond Press
(ISBN 1-59298-073-2)

A pioneering book that directly connects listening with leadership.Based on more than 50 collective years of work with listening leaders throughout the world, Dr. Steil and Dr. Bommelje have created 10 practical, proven, and priceless rules to enhance everyone's listening and leadership success. Although outstanding leaders are outstanding listeners, most leaders have neglected the development of their listening attitudes, skills and knowledge.

“This is the most significant book ever written on listening and leadership and will profit leaders at all levels in all types of organizations and enterprises.” Dr. Ralph Nichols, Father of the Field of Listening

ORDER YOUR COPY at www.ListeningLeaders.com or www.amazon.com

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Dr. Lyman K. (Manny) Steil
25 Robb Farm Road
St. Paul, MN 55127
651-483-3597
LKS@ListeningLeaders.com

Dr. Richard K. (Rick) Bommelje
8530 Amber Oak Dr
Orlando, FL 32817
407-679-7280
RKB@ListeningLeaders.com

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