Listening Leaders Archived Edition

May 7, 2008

LISTENING LEADERS WRESTLE WITH WIGGLY WORDS

Listening Leaders® come to grips with the simple fact that a critical challenge of listening lies in the interpretation and evaluation of every sender’s messages. As words flow with a multitude of meanings, the unending task of skilled listeners includes wrestling with wiggly words. Ultimate meaning lies in the ears of the beholder. Speakers may mean what they say, but listeners ultimately interpret and evaluate what they mean.

In a world where listeners are surrounded by innumerable silver-tongued hucksters, snake-oil salesmen and women, self-centered politicians, immoral businessmen, twisted perverts, and crafty con artists, the task of cutting through wiggly words is unending.

Spring and the wondrous season of baseball always reminds us of the story of the three baseball umpires who were discussing the differences between balls and strikes. The neophyte umpire said, “Some are balls and some are strikes, and I call ‘em the way they is.” The second umpire said, “I disagree. Some are balls and some are strikes, and I call “em the way I see ‘em.” The older and wiser umpire listened carefully and responded, “Gentlemen, get real. The truth is, some are balls and some are strikes, but they ain’t nothing till I call ‘em!”

Or, as Lewis Carroll wrote in Alice in Wonderland, “When I use a word, Humpty Dumpty said in a rather scornful tone, it means just what I choose it to mean-nothing more or less.” “The question is”, said Alice, “whether you can make words mean different things?” To which Humpty Dumpty responded, “The question is, which is to be the master-that’s all.” For listeners the question stands: Who will be the ultimate master of meaning, you or the speakers of the world?

The answer for listeners who choose to lead lies in the wisdom of Joseph Conrad who cautions everyone that, “Words as is well known, are great foes of reality.” Moreover, we live in a time that demands a careful check of true meaning in the quest for reality.

LISTENING LEADER® KNOWLEDGE NUGGET: Listening Leaders® wrestle with wiggly words.

When sorting out the “real meaning” of what we sense, it will pay to remember the American poet John Godfrey Saxe. Especially, Saxe will be remembered by poetry lovers for his exemplary poem, “The Blind Men and the Elephant.”

It was six men of Indostan to learning much inclined Who went to see the elephant though all of them were blind, That each by observation might satisfy his mind.

The First approached the elephant, and happening to fall Against his broad and sturdy side, at once began to bawl: 'God bless me! But the elephant is very like a wall!'

The Second, feeling of the tusk, cried, 'Ho! What have we here So very round and smooth and sharp? To me 'tis mighty clear This wonder of an elephant is very like a spear!'

The Third approached the animal, and happening to take The squirming trunk within his hands, thus boldly up and spake: 'I see,' quoth he, 'the Elephant is very like a snake!'

The Fourth reached out an eager hand, and felt about the knee, 'What most this wondrous beast is like is mighty plain,' quoth he; ' 'Tis clear enough the Elephant is very like a tree!'

The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear, Said: 'E'en the blindest man can tell what this resembles most; deny the fact who can This marvel of an elephant is very like a fan!'

The Sixth no sooner had begun about the beast to grope, than, seizing on the swinging tail that fell within his scope, 'I see,' quoth he, 'the Elephant is very like a rope!'

And so these men of Indostan disputed loud and long, each in his own opinion exceeding stiff and strong, though each was partly in the right, and all were in the wrong!

Thus we ask, “What is the final meaning and impact of the messages you consume?”

LISTENING LEADER TIP OF THE WEEK: Wrestle for the real meaning.

GOLDEN CIRCLE LISTENING LEADERS QUOTES OF THE WEEK:

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God ~ John 1:1
Actions speak louder than words ~ Proverb
Oaths are but words, and words but wind ~ Samuel Butler
Be not the slave of words ~ Thomas Carlyle
When ideas fail, men invent words ~ Martin Fischer
You can stroke people with words ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
Thanks to words, we have been able to rise above the brutes; and thanks to words, we have often sunk to the level of the demons ~ Aldous Huxley
Words are of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind ~ Rudyard Kipling
But words are words; I never yet did hear That the bruis’d heart was pierced through the ear ~ William Shakespeare

A LISTENING LEADER GIGGLE:

For a giggle that helps make our point, our Norwegian friend Roger, shared the following Ole story. The scene is a courtroom where a trucking company's lawyer was questioning Ole. "Didn't you say, sir, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer. Ole responded, "Vell, I'll tell you vat happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the..."

"I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'? Ole continued, "Vell, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road...."

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Minnesota Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."

Ole thanked the Judge and proceeded. "Vell as I vas saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into da trailer and vas driving her down da highvay ven dis huge semi-truck ran da stop sign and smacked my truck right in da side. I vas thrown into one ditch and Bessie vas thrown into da other. I vas hurting, real bad, and didn't vant to move. However, I could hear Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after da accident da Minnesota Highway Patrolman came to da scene.

He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and put her out of her misery. Then the Patrolman came across da road, gun still in hand, looked at me and said, 'How are you feeling'? Now vat da hay vould YOU say?"

LISTENING LEADERS KUDOS

Kudos to the American citizens who have endured 15 long months of listening to hopeful Presidential candidates who have filled the air with thousands of hours of words. In spite of the deadly repetition many of the messages remain unclear. Although uttered with good intent, unfortunately many of the true meanings seem to remain elusive.

So as the end is near the task remains. To that end, we congratulate all listening citizens who, regardless of their political leanings, remain strong and engaged. Congratulations to those who listen between the lines. Congratulations to everyone who suspends automatic belief and/or disbelief and digs for real meaning. Congratulations to listeners who strive to understand the meaning of the principle combatants. Congratulations to thoughtful voters who don’t need the pundits to explain what the candidates really mean. But most important, congratulations to all who value the freedom of speech and their responsibility of listening. For the future of freedom rests in your ears and hands.

LISTENING LEADERSHIP BEHAVIOR INVENTORY IS NOW ACCESSIBLE. Do you know how others perceive how you listen? Find out by taking the Listening Leadership Behavior Inventory (LLBI). The LLBI is a 360 evaluation, web-based tool that is designed to assess how you perceive your own listening behaviors and also how others perceive how you listen. Listening Leadership® is the process of guiding yourself and others to positive results through the power of listening. The first half of your 22 page, individualized and comprehensive report will present information on your scores on each of the Ten Listening Leader Golden Rules. The second half of the report will present the comparison between your scores and your observer scores. The gap analysis of the 10 Golden Rules shows the difference in perception between your scores and your observers' scores. The fee for the LLBI is $55. To purchase the inventory and receive your 7 digit registration code, please go to www.ListeningLeaders.com

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WE ARE LISTENING and invite your action

Together, we can change the listening attitudes, skills, and knowledge of leaders throughout the world. We appreciate and invite your assistance in expanding our listening leader’s connections. Eight simple steps in advancing this important movement include:

Wrestle with wiggly words

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We can help, we are committed, and we are listening.

Listen, Lead On & Make Today Count! – Manny & Rick

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LISTENING LEADERS: THE TEN GOLDEN RULES
TO LISTEN, LEAD & SUCCEED

By Dr. Lyman K. Steil
& Dr. Richard K. Bommelje

Publisher: Beaver’s Pond Press
(ISBN 1-59298-073-2)

A pioneering book that directly connects listening with leadership.Based on more than 50 collective years of work with listening leaders throughout the world, Dr. Steil and Dr. Bommelje have created 10 practical, proven, and priceless rules to enhance everyone's listening and leadership success. Although outstanding leaders are outstanding listeners, most leaders have neglected the development of their listening attitudes, skills and knowledge.

“This is the most significant book ever written on listening and leadership and will profit leaders at all levels in all types of organizations and enterprises.” Dr. Ralph Nichols, Father of the Field of Listening

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Dr. Lyman K. (Manny) Steil
25 Robb Farm Road
St. Paul, MN 55127
651-483-3597
LKS@ListeningLeaders.com

Dr. Richard K. (Rick) Bommelje
8530 Amber Oak Dr
Orlando, FL 32817
407-679-7280
RKB@ListeningLeaders.com

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