Listening Leaders Archived Edition

March 4, 2009

LISTENING LEADERS STIFLE SENSELESS STIMULATION

Listening Leaders® stifle senseless stimulation and over-stimulation for a variety of simple reasons.

In, and of itself, verbal stimulation may serve a useful purpose as listeners are moved to fully attend, thoroughly understand, carefully evaluate, and thoughtfully respond to stimulating ideas and calls for action. Stimulation in and of itself is not necessarily bad. However, all listeners are challenged when they face speakers who are skilled in over-stimulating the reflective and thoughtful actions of productive listening. Cries of catastrophic crisis and demands for quick action may be legitimate in some cases. However, in such moments of claimed crises, the imperative and heightened challenge for all effective Listening Leaders® becomes greater than ever.

Throughout recorded history, listeners have faced the compelling challenge of identifying and separating productive stimulating messages from counter productive over-stimulating messages. More important, effective listeners have developed specific listening competencies to deal with over-stimulating messengers and messages.

First, and foremost, is the development and refinement of controlling emotions. Smart listeners understand their vulnerability when speakers understand listener’s emotional triggers better than listeners understand their own emotional triggers. For as we have observed repeatedly, “We all have emotional triggers. Consequently, show me someone who knows your emotional triggers better than you understand your emotional triggers, and I will show you someone positioned to control you.” For as the 16th century Italian author, playwright, poet and satirist, Pietro Aretino observed, “I am indeed a King, because I know how to rule myself.”

Second, Listening Leaders® strive to check senseless over-stimulation by remembering, “Words have no meaning-people have meaning.” One person’s intent and meaning may be driven by an intent and meaning completely different from another’s. Thus, thoughtful listeners will always pause to ensure the complete message is sensed and understood. Patience and matching intentions and meanings becomes critical, for the devil is always in the details. Stifling senseless over-stimulation is the starting point and diving deep is the ending point. Diving deep requires deep breathing and allows controlled and meaningful exploration. Obviously, one cannot dive deep when over-stimulated and goaded into quick action.

Third, the power of listening is enhanced when listeners take time to carefully and thoroughly evaluate the rationality of claims and the long-term impact of the calls for action. For as Juan Ramon Jimenez observed, “The greatest assassin of life is haste, the desire to reach things before the right time, which means overreaching them.” Realizing that over-stimulation impedes the process of evaluation, productive listeners take time to push the pause button as they create time to carefully evaluate the complete message. Determining whether the speaker’s message is consistent or contradictory, fallacious or well reasoned, complete or incomplete, based on fact or opinion, supported by substantial evidence, objective or biased, and the solution to the claimed crisis, is difficult under any circumstance. When listeners are over-stimulated it becomes nearly impossible. Meaningful evaluation takes time and Listening Leaders® are reminded of the importance of “Withholding your judgment until your comprehension is complete.”

We live in perilous times and ultimately the actions of a population of listeners will positively or negatively impact generations to come. The challenge is great and calls for rational action. Listeners must control senseless overstimulation regardless of how well it is presented. At the end of the day, it is the listeners who will forever shape the destiny of the future of our children, grandchildren, and generations to come. At the very least, they deserve our attention and energy required to stifle our senseless over-stimulation. For as Cervantes wrote in Don Quixote, “Every man is the son of his own works.”

LISTENING LEADER® KNOWLEDGE NUGGET: Listening Leaders® Stifle Senseless Over-stimulation.

True listeners become most valuable in troubling times of adversity. “Watch a man in times of adversity,” suggested the Roman philosopher Lucretius in 55 B. C. “to discover what kind of man he is; for then at last words of truth are drawn from the depths of his heart, and the mask is torn off….” In short, in troubling times, sound advice suggests that wise listeners will always watch what others do, in addition to what they say. Especially when others are pushing for a rush to judgment and rapid action.

Aesop’s story of “The Frogs and the Well” reminds prudent listeners that in all times of difficulty, it pays to look and listen before leaping. It was a time of crisis when “Two frogs lived together in a marsh. But one hot summer the marsh dried up, and they left to look for another place to live, for frogs like damp places. By and by they came to a deep well, and one of them looked down onto it, and said to the other, ‘This looks like a nice cool place. Let’s jump in and settle here. But the other, who had a wiser head on his shoulders, replied, ‘Not so fast, my friend. Supposing this well dried up like the marsh, how should we get out again?’”

The moral is clear. In times of adversity: Keep your cool; Weigh the total problem; Consider the alternative solutions; Don’t be swayed by emotions; and, Think twice before you act.

LISTENING LEADER TIP OF THE WEEK: Stay Calm-Remain Thoughtful

GOLDEN CIRCLE LISTENING LEADERS QUOTES OF THE WEEK:

Let’s not forget that the little emotions are the great captains of our lives and we obey them without realizing it ~ Vincent Van Gogh
We know too much and feel too little. At least we feel too little of those creative emotions from which a good life springs ~ Bertrand Russell
The end cannot justify the means for the simple and obvious reason that the means employed determine the nature of the ends produced ~ Aldous Huxley
You will always find those who think they know what your duty is better than you know it ~ Emerson
Nobody is bound by any obligation unless it has first been freely accepted ~ Ugo Betti
Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt ~ Herbert Hoover

A LISTENING LEADER GIGGLE:

Blaise is a very proficient professional General Contractor who thoughtfully follows the numerous suggestions and proposals to improve health care in the United States. As Blaise understands the pressures on Doctors everywhere, and, is concerned about losing skilled medical professionals, he shared the following humorous story.

“A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. So he went to the local technical college, signed up for advanced classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. As the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared with great intensity.

When the test results were returned, the former gynecologist was surprised to find that he had received a grade of 150%. Fearing that a mistake had been made, he called the mechanic instructor, and said, “I don’t want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade.”

The mechanic instructor replied, “No, there was no error in your test score. During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total exam. Then you perfectly put the engine back together again, which was also worth 50% of the total exam.”

After a pause, the instructor added, “I gave you an extra 50% because, although, I’ve never seen it done before, you did it all through the muffler!”

LISTENING LEADERS KUDOS

Kudos to all Listening Leaders® committed to refining thoughtful listening in times of trial, tribulation, and despair. For 30 years, professional, consultants, trainers, educators, and researchers representing all walks of society, have been committed to advancing Listening through their membership and passionate participation in the International Listening Association. Founded in 1979, the ILA is a professional association open to individuals and organizations interested in interacting and learning with international listening professionals. Special Kudos to Dr. Rick Bommelje who will be inducted as the next ILA President at the 30th ILA Convention, in Milwaukee, Wisconsin on March19-21, 2009. In addition, Kudos to ILA’s effective Executive Director, Nanette Johnson-Curiskis for her diligent service to the listening community. For Membership and Convention registration information, contact Nan at www.listen.org or 952-594-5697

LISTENING LEADER TOOLS AVAILABLE TO YOU.

Subscribe to Dr. Rick's e-newsletter LEADERSHIP SEEDS by sending an email to RKB@ListeningLeaders.com The Leadership Seeds' content takes 90 seconds to read and a lifetime to master.
Order the Listening Leaders Book
Take the Leadership Behavior Inventory (LLBI).
Order the complete Listening Leader Workshop-in-a-Box

FOR DETAILS, PLEASE CLICK ON: www.ListeningLeaders.com

WE ARE LISTENING and invite your action

Together, we can change the listening attitudes, skills, and knowledge of leaders throughout the world. We appreciate and invite your assistance in expanding our listening leader’s connections. Eight simple steps in advancing this important movement include:

Resist over stimulating speakers.

Forward this newsletter to your children, grand children, friends and colleagues. More important, invite them to Subscribe to the “complimentary and weekly” newsletter by going to www.listeningleaders.com

Send us your listening leader insights, examples and stories.

Start a Listening Leaders Reading and Discussion Group. Invite your Librarian to purchase our Award winning LISTENING LEADER book.

As meeting, conference, and convention attendees spend the bulk of their time listening, please let others know of our availability to Keynote Conventions and customize Listening Leader Workshops.

Invite us to identify specific needs for listening development of leaders in your organizations.

Ask about our proven listening leader training programs and our customized in-house train-the-trainer strategies and our Certification program.

We can help, we are committed, and we are listening.

Listen, Lead On & Make Today Count! – Manny & Rick

__________________________________________________________________

If you would like a to use a template, but don't fancy our basic selection, we can create one for you. Call or email us to learn more.

LISTENING LEADERS: THE TEN GOLDEN RULES
TO LISTEN, LEAD & SUCCEED

By Dr. Lyman K. Steil
& Dr. Richard K. Bommelje

Publisher: Beaver’s Pond Press
(ISBN 1-59298-073-2)

A pioneering book that directly connects listening with leadership.Based on more than 50 collective years of work with listening leaders throughout the world, Dr. Steil and Dr. Bommelje have created 10 practical, proven, and priceless rules to enhance everyone's listening and leadership success. Although outstanding leaders are outstanding listeners, most leaders have neglected the development of their listening attitudes, skills and knowledge.

“This is the most significant book ever written on listening and leadership and will profit leaders at all levels in all types of organizations and enterprises.” Dr. Ralph Nichols, Father of the Field of Listening

ORDER YOUR COPY at www.ListeningLeaders.com or www.amazon.com

Listening Leaders is a weekly e-mail newsletter for people who understand the value of Listening Leadership in their life.

It is brought to you by
the INTERNATIONAL LISTENING LEADERSHIP INSTITUTE
We welcome your comments, suggestions and questions.
Please e-mail: ClientServices@ListeningLeaders.com.

Also, please visit our website: www.ListeningLeaders.com

Join our Golden Circle of Listening Leaders who are spreading Listening Leadership attitude, skills and knowledge worldwide! Forward your copy to anyone you believe will benefit from reading The Listening Leaders!

COPYRIGHT AND REPRINTS
Reprint permission is granted when the following credit appears: "© International Listening Leadership Institute. Reprinted with permission from ‘“The Listening Leaders Newsletter,' a weekly Internet newsletter”. For your own personal subscription, go to www.ListeningLeaders.com"

PRIVACY STATEMENT
Your e-mail address is absolutely confidential. We will NEVER give, sell or share your address with anyone.

Subscribe Cancel Update

Dr. Lyman K. (Manny) Steil
25 Robb Farm Road
St. Paul, MN 55127
651-483-3597
LKS@ListeningLeaders.com

Dr. Richard K. (Rick) Bommelje
8530 Amber Oak Dr
Orlando, FL 32817
407-679-7280
RKB@ListeningLeaders.com

[ListeningLeaders]