Listening Leaders

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Listening Leaders Newsletter



April 2, 2009

LISTENING LEADERS SURRENDER SILENTLY & SWIFTLY

Although the act of surrender may strike some as an act of giving up or relinquishing power to others, it is the ultimate beneficial and positive act of every Listening Leader®. For they understand the power and benefit of surrendering certain elements of behavior to themselves.

Simply put, they do not yield their power or control of listening to others. Rather, they surrender their listening power silently and swiftly to themselves. In the process, they quietly surrender themselves to a life of thoughtful listening.

In the action of surrendering, Listening Leaders® renounce their role of passivity in the communication process. They relinquish a multitude of assumptions that some listeners bring to every listening situation. In short, Listening Leaders® must give up.

LISTENING LEADERS GIVE UP

Although there are a multitude of listening behaviors worth abandoning, smart listeners commit silently to their own list. To prime the pump of listening activities to forgo, consider the following Baker’s dozen worth giving up.

  1. Give up any attempt to listen to all people talk about all things at all times. Listen for the Gold.
  2. Give up the thought that speakers always have your best interest at heart. Determine their intent.
  3. Give up the assumption that speakers hold the primary responsibility for successful communication. Assume the predominant responsibility for your personal listening success.
  4. Give up focusing primarily on the speaker’s appearance and peculiarities. Focus on the message.
  5. Give up counter productive attempts to multi-task while listening. Select your priorities.
  6. Give up expecting others to control distractions. Take charge of your listening environment.
  7. Give up the notion that taking notes is a waste of time. Take notes.
  8. Give up on calling some subjects uninteresting. Broaden your interests and scope.
  9. Give up clinging to your emotional biases. Identify and control your emotions.
  10. Give up premature judgment of messages before they are fully stated. Withhold your judgment until your comprehension is complete.
  11. Give up your belief that speaker’s logic will always be logical. Test the speaker’s soundness of reasoning.
  12. Give up assertions that the speaker’s evidence is complete. Ask, “What is missing?”
  13. Give up on being passive. Take charge and take action.

    The bottom line remains: By surrendering and giving up certain behaviors, Listening Leaders® become empowered. For as the English philosopher, Francis Bacon observed, “A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.” By yielding ownership one discovers the potential to gain greater ownership.

    LISTENING LEADER® KNOWLEDGE NUGGET: Listening Leaders® Surrender Silently.

    Skilled listeners remember that listening to and through the unending torrent of words require unending and uncommon strength.

    In 1940, Hitler’s German forces advanced westward through the French defenders to the British Channel. More than 300,000 British and French troops were evacuated. However, as Winston Churchill reminded his nation and the world, “Wars are not won by evacuations. We shall not flag or fail. We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.” The world listened, remained resolute, and turned the tide.

    The listening lesson remains. In good times or tough times, it is important to know what to surrender and what not to surrender. It pays to know what to give up and what not to give up. For as Henry Ward Beecher so wisely reminds us, “Greatness lies not in being strong, but in the right use of strength.”

    LISTENING LEADER TIP OF THE WEEK: Surrender but Stay Strong

    GOLDEN CIRCLE LISTENING LEADERS QUOTES OF THE WEEK:

    • Without victory there is no survival ~ Winston Churchill
    • Leadership is action, not position ~ Donald H. McGannon
    • Nothing is interesting if you are not interested ~ Helen MacInness
    • Syllables govern the world ~ John Selden
    • At the beginning there was the Word─at the end just the Cliché ~ Stanislaw J. Lee

    A LISTENING LEADER GIGGLE:

    Be careful when and how you surrender. As the French have discovered, the actions of surrendering can have long-term impact. Present day comedians continue to hitchhike on the WW II behaviors of the French. Originally General George S. Patton said, “I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me.”

    Then the Q & A format was introduced.

    Q: How many French soldiers does it take to defend Paris? A: Don’t know, it’s never been tried.

    Q: How do you say “Hello” in French? A: I surrender!

    Q: Why don’t they have fireworks at Euro Disney? A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.

    Q: Why do the French call their fighter the “Mirage”? A: Because it doesn’t really exist.

    Q. What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? A. Their army.

    Then there are the comedians and late night talk show hosts who carried the French history of surrender to recent events.

    John Xereas of DC Improv asked, “Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that’s because it was raining.”

    Conan O’Brien quipped, “You know why the French don’t want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people.”

    Jay Leno offered, “I don’t know why people are surprised that France won’t help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn’t help us get the Germans out of France!”

    Dennis Miller asked, “What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disneyworld and Big Macs than the Nazis?”

    Jay Leno wondered, “Did you see the new bomb the government came up with? It weights 21,000 pounds. The Air Force tested this bomb in Florida and the bomb blast was so strong at Disneyworld 25 French tourists surrendered.”

    The key is to surrender silently.

    LISTENING LEADERS KUDOS

    Kudos to Nan Johnson-Curiskis for her recent induction into the International Listening Association’s “Listening Hall of Fame”. The ILA “Listening Hall of Fame” award is the highest ILA award and is presented to individuals who are recognized for notable achievements involving listening throughout the world. Nan Johnson-Curiskis serves as a Great example of one who has “surrendered” her life to advance listening everywhere. Congratulations Nan!

    LISTENING LEADER TOOLS AVAILABLE TO YOU.

    • Subscribe to Dr. Rick's e-newsletter LEADERSHIP SEEDS by sending an email to RKB@ListeningLeaders.com The leadership seeds content takes 90 seconds to read and a lifetime to master.
    • Order the Listening Leaders Book
    • Take the Leadership Behavior Inventory (LLBI).
    • Order the complete Listening Leader Workshop-in-a-Box

    FOR DETAILS, PLEASE CLICK ON: www.ListeningLeaders.com

    WE ARE LISTENING and invite your action

    Together, we can change the listening attitudes, skills, and knowledge of leaders throughout the world. We appreciate and invite your assistance in expanding our listening leader’s connections. Eight simple steps in advancing this important movement include:
    1. Surrender Silently.
    2. Forward this newsletter to your children, grand children, friends and colleagues. More important, invite them to Subscribe to the “complimentary and weekly” newsletter by going to www.listeningleaders.com
    3. Send us your listening leader insights, examples and stories.
    4. Start a Listening Leaders Reading and Discussion Group. Invite your Librarian to purchase our Award winning LISTENING LEADER book.
    5. As meeting, conference, and convention attendees spend the bulk of their time listening, please let others know of our availability to Keynote Conventions and customize Listening Leader Workshops.
    6. Invite us to identify specific needs for listening development of leaders in your organizations.
    7. Ask about our proven listening leader training programs and our customized in-house train-the-trainer strategies and our Certification program.
    8. We can help, we are committed, and we are listening.

      Listen, Lead On & Make Today Count! – Manny & Rick

      __________________________________________________________________

      LISTENING LEADERS: THE TEN GOLDEN RULES
      TO LISTEN, LEAD & SUCCEED

      By Dr. Lyman K. Steil
      & Dr. Richard K. Bommelje


      Publisher: Beaver’s Pond Press
      (ISBN 1-59298-073-2)

      A pioneering book that directly connects listening with leadership.Based on more than 50 collective years of work with listening leaders throughout the world, Dr. Steil and Dr. Bommelje have created 10 practical, proven, and priceless rules to enhance everyone's listening and leadership success. Although outstanding leaders are outstanding listeners, most leaders have neglected the development of their listening attitudes, skills and knowledge.

      “This is the most significant book ever written on listening and leadership and will profit leaders at all levels in all types of organizations and enterprises.” Dr. Ralph Nichols, Father of the Field of Listening

      ORDER YOUR COPY at www.ListeningLeaders.com or www.amazon.com

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      Dr. Lyman K. (Manny) Steil
       25 Robb Farm Road
      St. Paul, MN 55127
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      LKS@ListeningLeaders.com       		Dr. Richard K. (Rick) Bommelje
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      RKB@ListeningLeaders.com

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