Listening Leaders Archived Edition

May 6, 2009

LISTENING LEADERS CONSIDER CYNICS CONCERNS

Cynics and cynicism have existed since the early days of human communication. Consequently, throughout history all listeners have faced the challenge of listening to the negative observations of cynics everywhere. Beginning in the 4th century BC, when Antisthenes led a group of like-minded individuals, cynics have supported a philosophy of rejecting all conventions. By the 19th century, cynicism became known as behavior based on an attitude of deep-seated negativity and distrust. Analysis of the meaning of cynicism has changed over the centuries, yet cynics continue to exist throughout the world today. Although many listeners automatically dismiss the cynic’s mutterings, cynics actually offer the opportunity to challenge and strengthen all Listening Leaders®.

Cynics are not an endangered species, and smart Listening Leaders® will realize cynics continue to multiply in difficult and challenging times. As cynics express their frustration, disillusionment, anger and distrust over the actions of government, organizations, and authorities, the learning opportunity for Listening Leaders® increases. Listeners may reasonably conclude that cynics appear more negative than positive, for the simple reason they skewer main-line thinking. To the casual listener, cynics consistently seem to offer opinions and perspectives that are downers, seldom uppers. Cynics typically deflate and seldom inflate good ideas and proposals. Or, as George Bernard Shaw observed, “The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.” When undeterred, they persist in behavior that can undermine effective listening and productive communication.

To skilled listeners, it is important to understand the difference in listening to skeptics versus cynics. Generally speaking, skeptics are individuals who question the validity of factual propositions. Some suggest that skeptics never had hope and thus find it hard to believe in anything. On the other hand, cynics are individuals who once had hope, lost it, and now refuse to believe. Cynics believe human motivations and actions are driven by selfishness which leads to their lack of faith in humanity. As cynics seem to exhibit a negative attitude about most everything, they compulsively exhibit a lack of trust in the goodness of others.

Yet, Listening Leaders® who choose to courageously consider the compulsions of cynics in their midst will find rich opportunities to grow as they enhance their listening attitudes and skills. Cynics provide a practice ground when it comes to listening to individuals who speak from a perspective different from the majority. Listening Leaders® will profit by remembering that all cynics speak from their perspective and belief of truth. In addition, cynics often suffer from the fact that their negativity interferes in expressing their truths in a positive manner. For, as Lillian Hellman observed, “Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth.” In addition, it is important that listeners also remember that for cynics, there is no end. Or in the words of Lily Tomlin, “No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.” Perhaps Sidney Harris captured the compulsion that drives all cynics best, when he simply said: “A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past; he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future.”

Unfortunately, although cynics throughout history have been maligned, misunderstood, and often rejected, they also have the ability to spotlight behaviors that deserve the spotlight. Listeners will profit when they listen past the cynic’s tools of negative biting sarcasm, ridicule, acerbic humor and carefully consider the insightful and thoughtful cynic’s point.

LISTENING LEADER® KNOWLEDGE NUGGET: Listening Leaders® Consider Cynics Concerns

Like Paul Pott, Susan Boyle probably would like to know, is Simon Cowell of “American Idol” and “Britain’s Got Talent” and his fellow judges, a cynic, skeptic, or just a curmudgeon? Speaking of television, Jeanne McManus, former editor for the Washington Post, recently wrote: “One of the engines that drives a cynical world in general and reality TV in particular is sparked by the friction between self-perception and fact.”

More than 70 million viewers of Susan Boyle’s immense singing talent have also watched the judge’s mutation from their pre-listening rolling of eyes cynicism to post-listening captivation and applause. With anyone who has had the privilege of listening to the Paul Potts and Susan Boyles of the world, five significant Listening Leaders® lessons are crystal clear.

First, Listening Leaders® must be prepared to be surprised with the message in spite of the appearance of the messenger.

Second, Listening Leaders® must withhold their judgment until their comprehension is complete.

Third, Listening Leaders® must agree to disagree agreeably.

Fourth, Listening Leaders® must resist their premature “rolling of their eyes.”

Finally, Listening Leaders® must search for wisdom in the truths of cynics.

The ultimate listening lesson remains. Cynics abound and some of their truths are worth listening to. The secret lies in utilizing all of the listening stages of SIER. For as John W. Gardner reminds everyone, “The cynic says, ''One man can't do anything. I say, ''Only one man can do anything.'' Moreover, Listening Leaders® regularly prove it.

LISTENING LEADER TIP OF THE WEEK: Observe the Opinions of Cynics

GOLDEN CIRCLE LISTENING LEADERS QUOTES OF THE WEEK:

A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be ~ Ambrose Bierce
A cynic is a man, who when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin ~ H. L. Mencken
Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows ~ David T. Wolf
Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods ~ H. L. Mencken
One is not superior merely because one sees the world in an odious light ~ Vicomte de Chateaubriand
Cynics know the price of everything and the value of nothing ~ Oscar Wilde
One is not superior merely because one sees the world in an odious light ~ Vicomte de Chateaubriand
A cynic can chill and dishearten with a single word ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

A LISTENING LEADER GIGGLE:

Some cynics have taken the position that men are a depressed segment of our population that is basically unhappy. Blaise Watson courageously confronts such cynicism with the following shared observation.

Men Are Just Happier People! What do you expect from such simple creatures?.

Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dresses cost $5000; Tux rentals cost $200. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

Phone conversations are generally over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A week long vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear costs $8.95 for a three-pack. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. If you have hair, the same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes works for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocketknife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier.”

But of course, the cynics will disagree.

LISTENING LEADERS KUDOS

Kudos to crafty cynics! Throughout history, the number of cynics who have skillfully used their tools of irony, sarcasm, and satire to positively impact thoughtful individuals of the world is extensive. Cynics like Diogenes, Chaucer, Rabelais, Shakespeare, Swift, Voltaire, Mark Twain, Dorothy Parker, H. L. Mencken, Groucho Marks, W.C. Fields, and numerous others have set the public cynical stage. Simply put, skilled cynics hold the potential to make thoughtful people think.

More important, kudos to all thoughtful listeners who are able to listen to the lessons imbedded in the cynics messages.

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