Listening Leaders Archived Edition

June 17, 2009

LISTENING LEADER LAZER LESSONS

The following excerpt is from Father John Powell, ‘Will The Real Me Please Stand Up?’

When I thank you for listening to me, I implicitly make it clear that this was all that I was asking of you. I was not inviting you to solve my problems for me. That would be immature on my part. I was not trying to manipulate you by some subtle accusation, or to put you on trial. I was not even challenging you to evaluate my sharing.

I was only asking you for the great gift of putting aside your own life and agendas for a while and sharing a personal concern with me. I was asking you for the gift of letting me be different from you. I was asking you for the gift of accepting me at the place I am right now. A simple word of gratitude says all this. It lets you know that I appreciate the many gifts involved in the gift of your listening. At the same time, my gratitude reminds me that you are not a thing to be used or a person to be taken for granted.

Very often when we are sharing our so-called "negative" feelings, without intending it we might make it sound like a trial, a challenge, a confrontation. "Thank you very much for letting me be me and for letting me tell you about it!" at the end puts things into perspective. It also supplies a context for our sharing that clarifies and classifies our self-disclosure as a gift of self. Our expression of gratitude makes it clear that this "gift" was not a thinly veiled accusation or manipulation. It was simply a gift, no strings attached.

LISTENING LEADER LAZER LESSON: Who do you need to thank today for listening to you?

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LISTENING LEADERS: THE TEN GOLDEN RULES
TO LISTEN, LEAD & SUCCEED

By Dr. Lyman K. Steil
& Dr. Richard K. Bommelje

Publisher: Beaver’s Pond Press
(ISBN 1-59298-073-2)

A pioneering book that directly connects listening with leadership.Based on more than 50 collective years of work with listening leaders throughout the world, Dr. Steil and Dr. Bommelje have created 10 practical, proven, and priceless rules to enhance everyone's listening and leadership success. Although outstanding leaders are outstanding listeners, most leaders have neglected the development of their listening attitudes, skills and knowledge.

“This is the most significant book ever written on listening and leadership and will profit leaders at all levels in all types of organizations and enterprises.” Dr. Ralph Nichols, Father of the Field of Listening

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