Listening Leaders Archived Edition

August 5, 2009

LISTENING LEADERS REVISIT & REVIEW

Listening Leaders® will find significant value in revisiting and reviewing past listening lessons learned. In short, it is time to relish reruns. The recent dust-up in Washington D. C. involving a Police Sergeant, a Harvard Professor, and the President of the United States, illustrates how simple life events can unleash raw emotions, resulting in verbal insults, an arrest, judgment without knowledge of the facts, dismissal of the charges, charges and counter-charges, apologies and a “Beer Summit” ballyhooed as a teachable moment

In the heat of the Summer, wise Listening Leaders® will discover great value by taking time to revisit and review the multitude of established lessons regarding ways to reflect, resist, and restrain from reacting to emotionally laden inflammatory events and messages. For starters, we invite you to revisit our www.listeningleader.com Newsletter Archives and review some of the suggestions that have been outlined in the last 523 Listening Leader Newsletters.

To shorten your travel, we are highlighting some of the best of the best past listening suggestions of ways to restrain one’s emotional reactions. We suggest the following from our review re-run bag: July 20, 2005, June 11 2006, February 15, 2006 and May 30, 2007 Listening Leaders® Newsletters.

On July 20, 2005 we wrote: “Listening Leaders® are perceptive, decisive, and focus on taking meaningful action. Yet they consciously resist the normal leader’s urge to make quick and final judgments. Listening Leaders® simply follow Dr. Ralph Nichol’s adage, ‘Withhold your judgment until your comprehension is complete.’ Or, as Shakespeare’s Hamlet advised, ‘Give every man thine ear, but few thy voice; Take each man’s censure, but reserve thy judgment.’ Listening Leaders reserve judgment and as a result make better judgments.”

On January 11, 2006, we wrote: “Listening Leaders® recognize ‘patience is a virtue’ and, those who stay cool under fire enjoy greater listening and leading success. History is replete with stories and advice regarding the importance of patience, which based on the Latin ‘pati’ means ‘to suffer.’ Patience calls for the bearing of pains or trials calmly or without complaint. For some, the practice and pursuit of perfection of patience is an enduring challenge, for their very nature is to move swiftly with limited information and/or understanding regardless of the circumstances.

Fortunately for others, the challenge of listening and leading with patience has been mastered under normal circumstances. Yet under stressful conditions, their patience turns to impatience and their listening suffers.

And, we might add, for want of only a few patient listeners, history was altered. For as Leo Tolstoy so wisely stated in his epic historical novel War and Peace, ‘The strongest of all warriors are these two-Time and Patience.’

Thus, the important lesson for all Listening Leaders® inclined to practice and pursue perfection of listening patience, lies in the irrefutable wisdom of Francis Quarles expressed 400 years ago, ‘My soul, sit thou a patient looker-on; Judge not the play before the play is done: Her plot hath many changes; every day Speaks a new scene; the last act crowns the play.’ ”

On February 15, 2006 we wrote about maintaining one’s cool in extreme moments, as: “the effective leader is compelled to listen to every nuance of every extreme speaker. In addition, it is productive to remember that the majority is often silent. If Voltaire was correct in his assumption that ‘fanaticism is to superstition what delirium is to fever, or rage to anger,’ it behooves every leader to fine-tune their listening ears to the expressed voices of active fanatics and the silence of the silent majority. The tasks and process differ but the end-result will provide immeasurable pay-offs.

Thus, Listening Leaders® constantly seek clarity. They listen to a breadth of voices that transverse the standard deviations of the bell shape curve. In the meantime, everyone needs to be listened to.”

Finally, on May 30, 2007 we reminded our Listening Leader Newsletter readers: “Equally important, effective Listening Leaders® must also find time to rest in moments of serious conflict. For the simple fact remains, listening in all situations can be taxing. In moments of conflict, the multiple tasks of listening are even more challenging. As conflict is exhausting, rest is imperative for it reduces stress and provides the potential to bring calmness to the mind.

Consequently, rest lies at the heart of moving from the dark depths of negative emotions to the positive peaks of rational dialogue. Leaders in conflict will discover the power of pausing, taking a step back, resting, and committing to mutually listening to each other. For as Cyril Connolly observed, ‘The man who is master of his passions is Reason’s slave.’ Ultimately productive Listening Leaders® find that the ultimate benefit and power of listening resides in responding without conflict. For in conflict, although someone may win, everyone eventually loses.”

In sum, as the Summer wanes, we remind all Listening Leaders® the value of taking time to revisit and review the wisdom of developing skillful ways to reflect, resist, and restrain from reacting to emotionally laden inflammatory events and upsetting messages.

LISTENING LEADER® KNOWLEDGE NUGGET: Listening Leaders revisit and review past listening lessons learned.

A deeper dip into the Archives reminds us that “Throughout the history of mankind, listeners who make premature judgments have wronged themselves and others. As Publilius Syrus observed in the 1st Century B. C.: “The judge is condemned when the criminal is acquitted.” Eli Katz reinforces the fact that all Listening Leaders® who engage in premature judgment commit gross disservice to everyone.

As a reminder, the value and importance of patient listening has been illustrated for years in James Baldwin’s wonderful story, “For Want of a Horseshoe Nail.” The famous legend and rhyme regarding the defeat and death of King Richard III, was immortalized by William Shakespeare’s unforgettable line: “A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!”

The lesson for Listening Leaders® lies in King Richard’s impatience and his groom’s failure to listen. Preparing to engage an army led by Henry, Earl of Richmond, that would determine who would rule England, King Richard III, sent his groom to prepare his favorite horse.

“Shoe the King’s horse quickly,” the groom instructed the blacksmith. “You’ll have to wait…I’ve got to get more iron,” the blacksmith answered. Failing to listen, the groom shouted impatiently, “I can’t wait …make do with what you have.”

So the blacksmith bent to his task and from a bar of iron he made four horseshoes. When he began to nail them on, he discovered he did not have enough nails to nail the fourth shoe. “I need one or two more nails and it will take some time to hammer them out,” he said.

“I told you I can’t wait,” the groom responded impatiently. “I hear the trumpets now. Can’t you just use what you have?” “Yes, but I can’t be certain it will hold,” answered the blacksmith. “Well then, just nail it on,” the groom shouted. “And hurry or King Richard will be angry with us both.”

And thus, in the thick of the Battle of Bosworth Field in 1485, as King Richard’s horse lost a shoe and the battle was lost, history gained a lesson in patient listening and taking meaningful action. As children everywhere have heard: “For want of a nail, a shoe was lost, for want of a shoe a horse was lost, for want of a horse, a battle was lost, for want of a battle, a kingdom was lost.

And, we might add, for want of only a few patient listeners, history has been altered on numerous occasions throughout human existence. However, as St. Francis of Assisi reminds everyone, there is great treasure in patient restraint and reflection. Listening is simple, “Where there is clarity and wisdom, there is neither fear nor ignorance. Where there is patience and humility, there is neither anger nor vexation. Where there is poverty and joy, there is neither greed nor avarice. Where there is peace and meditation, there is neither anxiety nor doubt.” And we suggest, no need for recalibration of words, no apologies, no countdowns, and no Beer Summits.

LISTENING LEADER TIP OF THE WEEK: Review the practice of your listening patience.

GOLDEN CIRCLE LISTENING LEADERS QUOTES OF THE WEEK:

It is the end that crowns us, not the fight ~ Robert Herrick We often give our enemies the means of our own destruction ~ Aesop
One gives nothing so freely as advice ~ Duc de la Rochefoucauld
The verdict of the world is final. ~ St. Augustine
Out of thine own mouth will I judge thee. ~ St. Luke 19:22
Judge not, that ye be not judged. ~ St. Matthew 7:1
One of the great disadvantages of hurry is that it takes such a long time. ~ G. K. Chesterton
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet ~ Lida Clarkson
We can outrun the wind and the storm, but we cannot outrun the demon of hurry ~ John Burroughs
Our patience will achieve more than our force ~ Edmund Burke
How poor are they that have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degree ~ Shakespeare
I will be the pattern of all patience ~ Shakespeare
The fates have given mankind a patient soul ~ Homer

A LISTENING LEADER GIGGLE:

Perhaps you will remember the classic rerun that reminds us that patience is in short supply. In a recent H€GAR the Horrible cartoon, the late Dik Browne has H€GAR walking along the countryside talking to himself. H€GAR says:

“Lately there aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do all the things Helga wants me to do.”

“I run from morning till night! I wish I could slow down!”

“Why is everyone in such a hurry? Why can’t we just slow down and reflect?”

“Why do we seem to be in a race against time? Everything is HURRY! HURRY! HURRY!”

“And the worst part is that… NO ONE WILL LISTEN!!”

When out of the sky, a perplexed H€GAR heard a booming voice,

“I’ll Listen, but could you hurry? I have others waiting.”

LISTENING LEADERS KUDOS

Congratulations and Kudos to Cool Hand Luke who exemplified patient listening in the timeless 1967 movie, starring Paul Newman and George Kennedy. As serious movie goers remember, the Captain of Road Prison 36 immortalized the simple phrase, “What we have here is a failure to communicate.” Yet in the end, the power of patient listening wins out.

In addition, we offer our kudos to all individuals who listen to the lessons of life and put the important lessons into daily play. For it is in the practice of exhibiting the worthwhile lessons that others have the chance to listen and learn the importance and value of your valuable life lessons.

In short, kudos to all!

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WE ARE LISTENING and invite your action

Together, we can change the listening attitudes, skills, and knowledge of leaders throughout the world. We appreciate and invite your assistance in expanding our listening leader’s connections. Eight simple steps in advancing this important movement include:

Listen to the re-runs, revisit and review.

Forward this newsletter to your children, grand children, friends and colleagues. More important, invite them to Subscribe to the “complimentary and weekly” newsletter by going to www.listeningleaders.com

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Invite us to identify specific needs for listening development of leaders in your organizations.

Ask about our proven listening leader training programs and our customized in-house train-the-trainer strategies and our Certification program.

We can help, we are committed, and we are listening.

Listen, Lead On & Make Today Count! – Manny & Rick

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LISTENING LEADERS: THE TEN GOLDEN RULES
TO LISTEN, LEAD & SUCCEED

By Dr. Lyman K. Steil
& Dr. Richard K. Bommelje

Publisher: Beaver’s Pond Press
(ISBN 1-59298-073-2)

A pioneering book that directly connects listening with leadership.Based on more than 50 collective years of work with listening leaders throughout the world, Dr. Steil and Dr. Bommelje have created 10 practical, proven, and priceless rules to enhance everyone's listening and leadership success. Although outstanding leaders are outstanding listeners, most leaders have neglected the development of their listening attitudes, skills and knowledge.

“This is the most significant book ever written on listening and leadership and will profit leaders at all levels in all types of organizations and enterprises.” Dr. Ralph Nichols, Father of the Field of Listening

ORDER YOUR COPY at www.ListeningLeaders.com or www.amazon.com

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