Listening Leaders Archived Edition

December 2, 2009

LISTENING LEADERS REVISIT & REFINE REGIFTING

Another Thanksgiving celebration has passed and Listening Leaders® have begun their annual search for the perfect gifts for those privileged to be on their 2009 holiday gift list. In spite of the continued worldwide economic downturn, “Black Friday” and “Cyber Monday” shoppers retain their excitement for bargain hunting.

Thus, as 2009 gift givers face the challenge to remain thoughtful and creatively frugal, we offer our annual assistance. With only 23 shopping days remaining until Christmas, this issue of the Listening Leaders® Newsletter proposes three ways to give truly great gifts.

First, if money is no object, we recommend you simply go to the 83rd Annual Neiman Marcus Christmas Catalog or web site. Fortunately for the “well-heeled shopper,” Neiman Marcus has even downsized their 2009 fantasy offerings. In fact, for the first time in a decade, there isn't a seven or eight-figure price tag on the list. Any one of the following items may suffice.

For your high-flying friends who like to fly together, check out the “His & Her Gift Package” at $250,000.00. It includes an ICON A5 sport aircraft complete with a custom trailer and sport pilot license training for two. The ICON A5 features hull and landing gear to take off and land on both water and land.

For any intellectuals on your list, consider a gift of the “Algonquin Round Table Experience.” For a mere $200,000.00 you will provide them with an exclusive dinner party at NYC’s legendary Algonquin Hotel and the opportunity to hob-nob with guests like Christopher Buckley, Roz Chast, Nora Ephron, Malcolm Gladwell, Henry Louis Gates, Jr., Adam Gopnik, John Lithgow, and George Stephanopoulos. More important, the proceeds will benefit First Book, the 2009 Christmas Book Charity.

In case you still have any auto lovers on your list, check out the “2010 Jaguar XJL Supercharged Neiman Marcus Edition” for a modest $105,000.00. But be quick, as only 50 of these special vehicles are available this year. Plus it should be noted that this package features a supercharged 5-liter V8 that delivers 470 hp, a custom interior of butter-soft navy and ivory leather with matte wood accents. Should you like more, this gift includes a five-piece set of matching Jaguar luggage in navy blue leather.

Or, for single riders who are like to drive fast without depending on oil, check out “Mission One”, the "world's fastest" electric motorcycle, for $75,000.00. This bike offers a ride up to 150 mph sports a clean, pure ride of up to 150mph propelled by a liquid-cooled AC induction motor and single-gear transmission. Plus there is no distraction of shifting, or filling the gas tank. There isn’t one.

If your budget is a little short, and you are still looking for something electric, you might be interested in a whimsical gift, like the $25,000.00 “Electric car in the shape of a Cupcake.” Although it is not street-legal, it is perfect for someone who wants to impress the neighborhood at the Fourth of July Parade.

For the wine lovers on your gift list, consider the “Hall Artisan Wine and Art Experience”, for a paltry price of $20,000.00. Your recipient will have the opportunity to learn organic, artisan winemaking firsthand, as they enjoy the art collection on their tour of the estates in Napa. They will have the opportunity to create their own personal vintage in a private blending session with Hall’s Winemaker, resulting in a custom vintage bottled just for them. In addition, your gift recipient will enjoy the luxurious accommodations at Auberge and a private dinner with Ambassador Kathryn Hall.

For any additional serious distillers on your list, simply order the “Maker’s Mark Master Distiller Experience.” For only $7,500.00 your gift will provide an all-access, VIP experience with Maker’s Mark Master Distiller, Kevin Smith. Your special gift will allow someone to spend a day making whiskey, step by step, and then take home two bottles of the rarest Maker’s Mark – golden bottles etched with their likeness and dipped in gold wax with 24-karat gold flecks. All of this while luxuriating in very special accommodations and enjoying a gourmet dinner hosted by Bill Samuels, the 7th generation of Maker’s Mark.

If you have any one who is into recycling, check out the five-foot-long "Sustainable Chandeliers” made from cut and sanded plastic soda bottles rescued from the landfill, for $12,000.00. And of course there is the incomparable artwork of “Insect Lab Specimens” with antique watch parts, at $8,500.00.

Finally, if you have any loose change left over, check out the Neiman Marcus “Fab Finds” and/or “Little Gems”. The good news is that overall, close to 50% of the merchandise in this year's Neiman catalog costs less than $250, compared with about 30% to 40% in the past five years. And for the best gift of all, you can simply buy, gift wrap, and send, The 2009 Christmas Book that is available at Neiman Marcus stores for $15.00.

Second, in these times of financial downturn, Listening Leaders® can refine the art of regifting. Regifting is the simple act of giving someone a gift of something that one received as a gift. In fact, some suggest that the best example of a regift is the “Holiday Fruitcake”, which some believe only two have ever been baked and/or eaten. They just keep getting regifted.

Although some believe regifting is a crass and thoughtless act, Bernice Kanner’s book, Are You Normal?, reports that a two-year study found that 54 percent of Americans have rewrapped, reboxed, and regifted presents received from others.

We believe in the spirit of Seneca, who said, “We should give as we receive, cheerfully, quickly, and without hesitation; for there is no grace in a benefit that sticks to the fingers.” Thus, our position is clearly in favor of regifting. Especially, when one receives the ultimate gift of being listened to by others; we believe it is imperative to regift such a magnanimous gift, by passing the gift of listening to others. By passing the gift of listening to others, everyone receives and gives a gift worth getting and giving.

Third, it is important that Listening Leaders® remember, truly gracious gift giving begins and ends with careful listening. Observant gift givers listen for individual wish lists throughout the year. Opportunities lie in identifying what others actually need; discovering the gifts others expect to get, or simply discerning the gifts others would like to receive. Constant and conscious listening provides the opportunity to be a gracious gift giver. All “Gracious Gift Givers or Regifters” hold the precious and constant opportunity to give everyone a multitude of everyday “Listening Gifts.”

Unlike the Neiman Marcus gifts, “Listening Gifts” are plentiful, affordable, invaluable, and appreciable. So once again this season, add the special “Listening Gifts” of: “Attention, Appreciation, Caring, Commitment, Contentment, Control, Empathy, Feedback Honesty, Hugging, Reflection, Remembrance, Responsibility, Sharing, Silence, Smiling, Thanking, Thinking, Thoughtfulness, and Time. Wrap and rewrap these attitudes and actions in a bow for delivery everyday, and your epitaph will eventually read, “Here is a Listening Leader® who Graciously Gave and Regave Life’s Greatest Gifts.”

LISTENING LEADER® KNOWLEDGE NUGGET: Listening Leaders Relish and Refine Regifting.

Although regifting and regifters have probably existed throughout the history of human gift giving, the origin of the term seemingly dates back to the January 19, 1995 “The Label Maker” episode of the Seinfeld television show. Obviously, some gifts deserve to be regifted, and some do not.

However, some gifts clearly deserve regifting, for when magnanimous Listening Leaders® have gifted everyone on their list they will be wise to make one final gift; that is the gift of listening to themselves. Remember, as Pierre Corneille reminded everyone, “The manner of giving is worth more than the gift.”

So to repeat, although timely at any period of the year, our long-time International Listening Association colleague, Bob Bohlken provides everyone a marvelous poetic holiday gift. Inspired by Peter “Dale” Wimbrow Sr.’s 1934 classic “The Guy in the Glass”© often mistakenly referred to as “The Man in the Glass,” Bob crafted a most lavish gift entitled, “Listen to the One in the Mirror.”© Read it, repeat it, memorize it, and regift it, and it will serve you in an enduring way. In short, it is a timeless gift that will provide anyone and everyone a multitude of positive returns.

“Listen to the One in the Mirror” ©

“When life’s choices come your way, Listen to what others have to say. But when all is said and done, Look into a mirror and listen to the reflected one.

When temptations are laid at your door, And promises are yours to take. Discuss the consequences and more, But listen to the one in the mirror for your own sake.

You may fool the world throughout the years, Others may admire you as you pass. But you’ll suffer heartache and tears, If you don’t listen to the one in the glass.

It is you alone who makes your choices. No matter what others may say or do. You may listen to other voices, But the voice of the one in the mirror is true.”

LISTENING LEADER TIP OF THE WEEK: Regift to yourself.

GOLDEN CIRCLE LISTENING LEADERS QUOTES OF THE WEEK:

A wise lover values not so much the gift of the lover as the love of the giver ~ Thomas á Kempis
You give but l
To give and then not feel that one has given is the very best of all ways of giving ~ Max Beerbohm
To give and then not feel that one has given is the very best of all ways of giving ~ Max Beerbohm ittle when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give ~ Kahlil Gibran
What is bought is cheaper than a gift ~ Portuguese Proverb
The only gift is a portion of thyself ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
A hug is a great gift – one size fits all, and it’s easy to exchange ~ Author Unknown
To give and then not feel that one has given is the very best of all ways of giving ~ Max Beerbohm
Love is, above all, the gift of oneself ~ Jean Anouilh
You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving ~ Author Unknown
Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons ~ Ruth Ann Schabacker

A LISTENING LEADER GIGGLE:

Charles shared a story about a fellow who bought his new girlfriend a very large and beautiful diamond ring for Christmas last year.

Upon hearing about this extremely extravagant gift, Charles asked, "I thought she wanted one of those expensive sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles."

"She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"

Enjoy your gifting and regifting!

LISTENING LEADERS KUDOS

Kudos to Larry David, the Brooklyn native who is widely known for his “off-kilter” sense of humor. Recognized as the co-creator with Jerry Seinfeld of the award winning Seinfeld comedy series, Larry David was the show’s head writer and executive producer of The Seinfeld Show for the first seven years.

Extended into his next endeavor, “Curb Your Enthusiasm”, Larry David’s humor is living proof of the value of comedic regifting. With an ear to the ground of real life themes and characters, the lives of his main characters continue to provide listeners a chuckle in times of stress.

Although known for his “shows about nothing” we salute award winning, Larry David, for his ongoing success in providing the important gift of humor to listeners everywhere. When listeners want to laugh, Larry David’s shows “are about everything”.

LISTENING LEADER TOOLS AVAILABLE TO YOU.

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WE ARE LISTENING and invite your action

Together, we can change the listening attitudes, skills, and knowledge of leaders throughout the world. We appreciate and invite your assistance in expanding our listening leader’s connections. Eight simple steps in advancing this important movement include:

Relish every opportunity to regift every gift of listening.

Forward this newsletter to your children, grand children, friends and colleagues. More important, invite them to Subscribe to the “complimentary and weekly” newsletter by going to www.listeningleaders.com

Send us your listening leader insights, examples and stories.

Start a Listening Leaders Reading and Discussion Group. Invite your Librarian to purchase our Award winning LISTENING LEADER book.

As meeting, conference, and convention attendees spend the bulk of their time listening, please let others know of our availability to Keynote Conventions and customize Listening Leader Workshops.

Invite us to identify specific needs for listening development of leaders in your organizations.

Ask about our proven listening leader training programs and our customized in-house train-the-trainer strategies and our Certification program.

We can help, we are committed, and we are listening.

Listen, Lead On & Make Today Count! – Manny & Rick

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LISTENING LEADERS: THE TEN GOLDEN RULES
TO LISTEN, LEAD & SUCCEED

By Dr. Lyman K. Steil
& Dr. Richard K. Bommelje

Publisher: Beaver’s Pond Press
(ISBN 1-59298-073-2)

A pioneering book that directly connects listening with leadership.Based on more than 50 collective years of work with listening leaders throughout the world, Dr. Steil and Dr. Bommelje have created 10 practical, proven, and priceless rules to enhance everyone's listening and leadership success. Although outstanding leaders are outstanding listeners, most leaders have neglected the development of their listening attitudes, skills and knowledge.

“This is the most significant book ever written on listening and leadership and will profit leaders at all levels in all types of organizations and enterprises.” Dr. Ralph Nichols, Father of the Field of Listening

ORDER YOUR COPY at www.ListeningLeaders.com or www.amazon.com

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Dr. Lyman K. (Manny) Steil
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