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Do you find yourself holding on to certain life dreams that have yet to come true for you? The dream of owning your own business, leaving your career to go help the underprivileged, becoming a concert performer, owning the neighborhood bookstore where everyone knows you by name, or being independently wealthy enough to never answer to a boss again. Ahhh, it's so pleasant even just thinking about it!

In my life, I have known few people that didn't have big dreams. Why do some succeed at making them happen and some never do? First, let's look at the typical outcomes:

1. You work to make your dreams happen and they do. Good for you! No lessons needed.

2. You work toward your dream, but when it starts to look like it will happen for you you pull back, maybe even sabotaging yourself.

3. You believe in your dream and work toward it, but someone with great influence in your life keeps convincing you that it is silly.

4. You keep pursuing your dream and always get shut down.

What do you do if you're not in the #1 category? Here are some tips for evaluating your dreams and goals:

• First, a little self-examination. Is your dream really right for you now? Or is it simply one you have hung onto since earlier life and it no longer fits? It may not be the dream itself that's driving you, but the results that would come from succeeding at that dream. Your dream of being a concert pianist may have less to do with enjoying playing piano than being the center of attention, hearing applause, working alone, etc. Look at all of the things that achieving your dream would bring your way and determine whether you can get those needs met in other, different ways.

• The big reality check:  Do you have the necessary skills, education and support? If your dream is to be a professor at an ivy league university, do you have the education to get yourself there? Are you good at speaking in front of groups? Have you been published? Are you well connected? Do your friends and family support you in this pursuit? If you don't have related skills, background or education to help you achieve the dream, is it time for a revision or are you willing to dig in and get what you need to head in that direction?

• If you make progress toward the dream but never quite seem to get it, ask yourself why it is that you really don't want what you think you want. Often, just when we feel success coming on we stop ourselves short. Why? A number of possible reasons. You feel that you really don't deserve it, or people will expect a lot more of you once you're "there."  (Just look at the hassle that lottery winners experience!) It will require work to maintain the success. Or maybe it's as simple as the fact that once you achieve "it," there is no more dream. Maybe the fun part is holding out the hope rather than actually experiencing the success.

If you have dreams that give you hope and encouragement, by all means hang onto them. But if you're frustrated by not feeling any closer to achieving them, I suggest you reevaluate and start fresh. Look at the dream itself and break it down into pieces. Write down a list of all of the good things that accomplishing that dream would bring to you. Get very detailed. Then look at each of those rewards and develop "sub-goals" that are more easily achieved and that will bring you some quicker successes. If necessary, revise the dream based on the most important things on that list. If you still want to experience autonomy and adoration and applause but  realistically will not practice the discipline it takes to become a concert pianist, look at a new dream that will provide you with the same results. Acting in local theater, perhaps? Get the idea?

Dreams are wonderful. They are what keep us going during frustrating times and give us reason to carry on. Never give up dreaming, but craft your dreams in a way that you will be certain to succeed and enjoy the results!

If you want to make some changes but aren't sure what or how, I would love to work through this process with you. I invite you to contact me for a complimentary coaching consultation.

Warmest Regards,

Gwen