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We work our jobs. Collect our pay. Believe we're gliding down the highway when in fact we're slip slidin' away. - Paul Simon Reinventing retirement - and hastening its demise - is the mission of 2young2retire, not to be confused with advocating that people remain at or return to work, just to be working. In fact, it seems to us that if anything needs to be reinvented, it is the outsized value we assign to work. Why does the average North American put in three more months on the job than the average Japanese, and two months more than the average German? We believe that we are driven by more than the need to make a living. For many of us, work has become who we are, how we value ourselves, where we find our purpose. No wonder, then, the idea of retirement, that is, NOT working, is so frightening. Love our work or not, all those extra hours add up, stealing time and energy from our intimate relationships, communities, and other important parts of our lives. In the long run, it just doesn't work and everyone, employers included, will pay the price of lives out of balance. "Despite everything our inheritance may tell us, work is not and never has been the center of the human universe," says poet and author, David Whyte (The Heart Aroused: Poetry and the Preservation of Soul in Corporate America.) It doesn't have to be this way. Earlier this week, Howard returned with his son to the prestigious law school from which Bill graduated 10 years ago. They did a lot of reminiscing, even taping some of their conversation. Bill had done well in his SATs, but got into a respectable college with a less than brilliant academic record. He was, however, on the tennis team the year they won the state championship, a soloist with the Master Singers chorus, and a very likeable and popular student. In college, he had done far better, well enough to consider applying for law school. He was accepted and began the grueling course work. But his experience of law school was different from the high-achievers in his class, for whom the pressure to maintain their earlier standards of excellence was intense. It made many of them miserable, and few in his opinion, would be making this sentimental journey. Bill, on the other hand, recalls enjoying law school although, like any red-blooded 23-year-old, he had occasional doubts that he was in the right place. Nervous about an important exam, he phoned his father the night before and said something like, "Maybe what I really want to do is become a photographer." Fine, came the reply, so you have nothing to lose in just taking this exam and seeing what happens. How might our attitudes toward work, indeed our lives, change for the better if we understood that we have nothing to lose by being who we truly are and letting that be our compass? What better time than in our mature years to rediscover what we felt passionate about, dreamed about, loved doing, when we were young, and go forward from there, and see what happens?
Great new True Story: His careers have included stints in corporate management and the nonprofit field for organizations like the famed Atlanta Botanical Gardens. But along the way, Jerry Sweitzer, 62, had a vision of another, slower-paced life. Click here: http://www.2young2retire.org/jerrysweitzer.htm AOL users, copy and paste into your browser window.
BOOKSITE
Despite the pervasive noise of modern mass communications, many people admit to feeling lonely, isolated and longing for community. Wisdom Circles : A Guide to Self-Discovery and Community Building in Small Groups (Hyperion, 1999) by Charles Garfield, Cindy Spring, and Sedonia Cahill, is a book that invites its readers to consider the possibilities beyond the small talk and "transactional" exchanges that too often masquerade as conversation. It offers hope that genuine human connection can occur when people commit to meeting regularly, abide by a few simple rules - the Ten Constants -- and speak honestly. In so doing, we discover not only what we truly believe, but learn to respect the experience and values of others. As a community building tool, this book is a treasure. I could have used its techniques and wisdom in the 1970s when I was facilitating consciousness-raising groups for the National Organization for Women. But the idea that anyone can benefit from "a safe space within which to be authentic, trusting, caring, and open to change," hasn't changed, in fact, it may be even more necessary today. The circle, of course, is an ancient symbol of wholeness. You may be surprised to learn that the U.S. Constitution was based on one: the Iroquois Confederacy, a system of separate tribal councils, whose members were chosen by a Circle of Matrons made up of the oldest women of the tribe. (That, of course, wasn't duplicated, alas.) Modern wisdom circles follow a consistent structure, with opening and closing rituals, and rules of engagement that include the passing of a "talking stick" which gives each member an opportunity to speak in turn, and more importantly, to listen "from the heart, and serve as a compassionate witness" to the words of others. Both spiritual and practical, Wisdom Circles is packed with tips on creating and maintaining a circle in a variety of settings; on asking the "right questions" to open up an underlying inquiry: "How can we continue to survive, dream, hope, and carry on in this time of change and transformation?" Highly recommended.
MEDIA WATCH
* No disrespect to our many friends in television who do great programming, but Hello? What's wrong with this picture? (Statistics from opensewer.com/cause.htm) * The average adult watches an equivalent of 52 days of TV a year. This amounts to nearly nine years of his or her life.
* A child between two and 11 watches 1,197 minutes of TV vs. 39 minutes talking with his or her parents.
* 54% of programming is devoted to stories about crimes, disasters, and wars. Even more to commercials. * Like it or not, advertising is part of our lives and we cannot help but be influenced by it, even if people 50 and older are largely missing in action. In his article, "Ageism in Advertising," (The New Yorker, April 1, 2002), James Surowiecki skewers Madison Avenue's youth cult and the advertisers who continue to buy into it, even though "older consumers now make up the most lucrative market in America." Do you feel sidelined by the images and messages you see in advertising? Or are you relieved to be ignored? Tell us what you think at Howard@2young2retire.com * Howard was interviewed by Glenn Ruffenach of the Wall Street Journal. An excerpt: "Lots of people are frightened to move through this period of their lives," says Mr. Stone, who is considering adding "life coaches" to the site (to help users through career changes), among other features. "But you can blaze your own trail; you don't have to follow the last generation." See www.2young2retire.org/sundaywsj.html
POTPOURRI
* If you live in or around Delray Beach, Florida, be sure to check out award- winning Tout Sweet, an ice cream parlor & restaurant founded by the Talesnicks, very 2young2retire entrepreneurs. Says Howard Talesnick: "One of our goals is to provide employment to fellow seniors! We welcome anyone interested in "unretirement" to drop in and meet with us to discuss career opportunities. Of course we offer flexible schedules and part or full time opportunities." Contact them at sobe02@bellsouth.net * Here's some good news about medical insurance for the self-employed: for tax years beginning in 2002, the deductible percentage of your health insurance premiums gradually increases to 70% and best of all, after 2002 you will be able to deduct a full 100% of premiums paid. If you would like more information, www.irs.gov/prod/forms/pubs/pubs/p5350701.htm (AOL users, remember to copy/paste these URLs into your browser window.) * Inc Magazine is out to help you launch that business with free tools. http://www2.inc.com/freetools/index.html * Franchising in your future? Before you take the plunge, here's some smart advice - and some cautionary notes - from a small business pro. One example, before you buy, work for them and check them out from the inside. (Other worthwhile info, too.)
http://www.rhondaonline.com/RO/content/hmrArticles_view.asp?sect=column&did=282 * Are Employers Out of Step With Older Employees? Read Sue Shellenbarger's article: http://www.careerjournal.com/columnists/workfamily/20010524-workfamily.html * Healthy fast food? Apparently, someone at Burger King Corporation has been paying attention to the bean sprout and brown rice crowd. BK and its franchisees claim they are breaking new ground with the launch of the BK Veggie (TM) burger -- the first veggie burger available nationally at a fast food chain. Now if they could come up with a good tasting potato stick that isn't fried. * Let your dollar speak on issues that matter to you. Investigate hundreds of companies on a range of issues - sweatshops, pollution, family-friendliness, ethics, and more. http://www.business-ethics.com/ * Who doesn't want to lower their bills? Here are some ideas, for free yet: http://www.lowermybills.com/ Readers Write: * Another excellent segment. Like running into an old friend. Some personal advice worth listening to, some new information on living better, a couple good-book notes. My e-door is always open to you two. * I agree that "relationships 101" should be a requirement in both academic and religious education. Thanks for a great newsletter. * Should relationships be taught in schools? Yes, I think it's about time we taught the really important thing; learning to love and respect each other. Who will be brave enough to make the changes necessary? I hear a lot of talk but no action. There are many changes I wish to see happen in this culture, in the world. I think a patriarchal society is unbalanced and not respecting women's roles as mothers, teachers, and as leaders too. I think we need to speak out now before it is too late. * This weekend, I turned 50. Painlessly. Almost...joyfully. No sign of the anticipated "sturm und drang." Perhaps it's because I'm living an "inner life" I could not have imagined back when I thought that being an entertainment reporter for the Chicago Sun Times was as good as it could possibly get. Perhaps it's because that inner life informs informs and enhances every "outer" experience. There's a calm now, even in the "rapids." I know there are smooth waters ahead. Better yet, I know there are still waters of the soul to sustain me when storms rage...On my 50th, I woke up, smiled...and swam out into that raging river of life as always. I know who I am. I have no idea who I'm becoming. And I no longer need to know everything. That...is 50, for me. Amen! And thanks to all of you for your thoughts. Marika and Howard
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