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Holiday letters recounting family accomplishments and hopes for the future were once a staple of the season, and perhaps still are for many of you. These end-of-year wraps tend to be so uniformly bright, cheerful and boastful that they lend themselves to satire of the Saturday Night Live ilk. But there is value in an annual review, particularly in these years of maturity. We can make it an opportunity to reflect not merely on events public and private, but on what we’ve learned from them, how we’ve changed and grown, who we’re becoming, and where we want to be headed. And so we’re offering this simple plan for folks in mid-life and beyond. In the next week, set aside your holiday planning for a couple of hours, take deep breaths, and write a holiday letter for your eyes only. Take your cue from any of these:
- Who turned up in your life this past year that touched you unexpectedly, and why?
- Write that person a letter of appreciation.
- How can you invite more surprises – people, places, and experiences – into your life in the coming year?
- What was the most daring or out-of-character thing you did and how did you feel before, during and after?
- Recast a “mistake” as a lesson. What did it teach you? How could you approach the circumstances differently in the future?
- Is there someone you need to forgive? How will you go about it?
- Is there someone to whom you owe an apology? When will you make it?
- Did you laugh enough? How can you lighten up in the future?
- Did you play enough? What is play for you and what new ways will you find to play next year?
- What did you do (or NOT do) that you are you most proud of?
- How can you make someone’s day this holiday season without spending a dime?
- What was your most memorable act of courage, unselfishness or love this year?
- In the coming year, how will you celebrate yourself?
I celebrate myself
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.
…
Stop this day and night with me and you shall possess the origin
of all poems,
You shall possess the good of the earth and sun, (there are millions
of suns left,)
You shall no longer take things at second or third hand, nor look
through the eyes of the dead, nor feed on the spectres in
books,
You shall not look through my eyes either, nor take things from me,
You shall listen to all sides and filter them from your self.
From “Song of Myself,” Walt Whitman BOOK SITE The Creative Habit: Learn It and Use It for Life, Twyla Tharp (Simon and Schuster, 2003), $25. Possibly you have heard of a book leaping into your hands and turning out to be exactly what you need to read? Carl Jung would call this synchronicity, and that’s exactly what happened to me last week at my local library when Twyla Tharp’s wonderful new book found me. Curiously enough, I have been following Tharp’s career since I first encountered her in the summer of 1964 when I was temping as administrative assistant for the Paul Taylor Dancers of which she was then a member. At rehearsal, one of the other dancers pointed her out to me as someone who was going to revolutionize modern dance. The rest, as they say, is history. With the publication of The Creative Habit, Twyla Tharp may well have created a classic on this much written about and studied subject. Her book is bold, literate, funny and very serious about what it takes to uncover one’s creativity. The word “habit” is an unusual yet precise choice for the book’s title. It is what Tharp means as she describes how she lives/works (fusion intended), and what she recommends. Creativity, she writes, is neither “a gift from the gods” or “just for artists.” Rather “Creativity is a habit, and the best creativity is a result of good work habits. That’s it in a nutshell.” The exercises alone are worth the cover price and then some (I’ve ordered my own copy). For this longtime yogi, one called “Give Me One Week Without” is particularly resonant. Here are some of the things Tharp recommends we go without: mirrors, clocks, newspapers, and speaking. Not easy – try for a day and see! Another called “Trust Your Muscle Memory,” stunning in its simplicity, is something I plan to adapt for myself and for my yoga students. I believe it could give even the most movement-challenged a glimpse of what their body is capable of. A chapter entitled “Scratching” confirms that we don’t have to beat ourselves up for confusion, anxiety, fear, and flailing around that might occur at the start of a project (to name a few altered states I regularly experience). If it works (and it will if you trust the process), it works. The Creative Habit is packed with stories and examples, Tharp’s own and dozens of well chosen others from Mozart to Milos Forman (with whom Tharp collaborated on the movies Hair, Ragtime and Amadeus). Graphically terrific, the book is a treat for eyeballs and third eye, and I found myself flying through it quickly, as you might, then coming back to specific exercises. It actually invites creativity in how it is used. You may want to focus on what catches your attention -- I found myself attracted immediately to “Scratching” and “An ‘A’ in Failure” – and begin there. Use the white space for your notes and doodles. Own it. Speaking of books, ours has been acquired by Penguin Plume and will be re-launched May 2004 with a new design and slightly changed title. (Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.) In the meantime, the classic edition of Too Young to Retire: An Off-the-Road Map to the Rest of Your Life (Writers Collective 2003) is still available from www.2young2retire.com/book.html and through personal contact with the authors. Bulk orders for your book club or conversation circle are available at a 30% discount. Send an enquiry to Howard@2young2retire.com.
POTPOURRI
- Sure it’s great to get a new sweater for $39.95, but wouldn’t it warm you up to know that your clothing bargain didn’t cost someone his or her fair wage? Check out No Sweat Apparel, http://www.nosweatapparel.com/index.html and this holiday season; make more than a fashion statement with your gift. If you need a refresher course on this issue with global implications, says No Sweat founder Jeff Ballinger, rent the movie, Norma Rae.
- Librarians, in our estimation, are unsung heroes of our society, making information readily available and accessible to all. Just visit your local library if you haven’t lately, revel in the abundance of book, audio/video and DVD offerings, and thank that helpful person behind the desk. And get an eyeful of what librarians have put together on the Internet: Librarians’ Index to the Internet, http://lii.org. (Copy and paste, you AOL users.)
- You CNN junkies, what you see isn’t always what you get. Wherever you locate yourself on the political spectrum, you owe it to yourself to sample points of view not necessarily your own. For this we recommend www.alternet.org/index.html to balance the business as usual blah blah blah.
- It’s easy enough to get addicted to new new technology, but have you ever wondered what happens to all those discarded mobile phones? Here’s a program that helps recycle mobile phones to people in the developing world for whom this could be their first means of modern communication. Take a look at www.collectivegood.com/donate_phone.htm. You might also be able to raise funds for a charity of your choice and receive a tax-deduction.
- We recently received a beautiful handwritten card from a new mother of twins, responding to our recent visit and baby gifts. Is it my imagination or are we writing fewer cards and letters these days, hoping that a rushed (not to mention misspelled and grammatically-challenged) email will suffice? Think about how much it means to get a handwritten note and put some back into your life. This site makes it easier to get started: http://www.libraryonlineinc.com/LOI/. And if you haven’t yet added The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language to your wish list, you can visit http://www.bartleby.com/61/ and search to your heart’s content.
From our home to yours, warmest greetings for the season of light.
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