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On ‘Friending’ and Friendship
Every morning for the last six months or
so, when I open my email I find a number of requests from total strangers who
want to ‘friend’ me (yes, it’s a verb now). Sometimes we have someone
in common. But just as often, the person found me via Friend Finder and
was motivated by something in my profile to reach out.
Although I find it difficult to resist
opening my Facebook page when I get these messages – funny how that
happened! -- I’m inclined to turn down request when I don’t know the
person, and I don’t bother to open the profile. Nonetheless, by the
time I’ve checked the messages and read and responded to some of the wall
posts, perhaps 15-20 minutes have elapsed. Enough time for a real
conversation on the phone (or Skype), or a thoughtful email exchange.
Perhaps even a handwritten note. You remember those don’t you?
Back in the day. According to the USPS, there was a drop of 2 million
pieces of first class mail from the first quarter of 2008 to the first quarter
of 2009. Goodbye, snail mail?
What we are doing to stay in touch
with one another is embracing social media, Facebook, MySpace, even
Twitter. These are catching on so quickly with older users, there is
even advice
for people whose children refuse to ‘friend’ them. We may be the fastest growing
demographic in the use of Facebook and its ilk – here’s a new one, www.genkvetch.com -- but I wonder
whether it is creating better friendships or just more online friends.
Unless you’re looking for work or running for office, the value of a very large
group of people you don’t know well is exactly what? Fellow global
villagers, help me out here.
Mostly, I enjoy finding, or being found by,
people I’ve known in the past. I like hearing from classmates, former
neighbors, yoga students and colleagues. But after you’ve caught up,
what then? True, some of your online friends are also the ones who will
help you when you move, water your plants or feed your pets when you
travel. They may be the ones who bring a casserole to you when you’re
recovering from surgery or a broken heart. They may be the patient
souls who listen on the phone when you need to vent. And you would do
the same for them, not as a quid pro quo, but because there is a
mystery and wonder about friendship that needs feeding, tending and
celebration. And if you choose to share, comment or ‘tweet’ about your
good fortune at having such friendships, you’ll have plenty of company.
Here’s a quote that captures the ineffable,
enduring essence of friendship:
"Nobody sees a flower - really - it is so small it takes time - we
haven't time - and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes
time.” -- Georgia O’Keefe
POTPOURRI
Continuing the Conversation...Third Annual National
Positive Aging Conference: Wave of the Future will be a highly interactive
gathering attended by diverse national leaders who are shaping a dynamic
future for older adults throughout the world. December 7-9, 2009 at Eckerd College, St. Petersburg,
FL. Deadline September 1 to submit a proposal in the following theme
areas:
Questions
about proposals should be directed to Joan Karins at karinsjr@eckerd.edu General Info:
http://www.eckerd.edu/positiveaging/
Our
colleagues at Whats Next are offering a 36-page special report, Career Change & Life Balance, at absolutely no cost. Click here and a
digital version of the report will automatically be downloaded
to your computer where you can save it or print it out for
future reference. Download problem? Contact: help@whatsnext.com.
Mixed Blessings? Many older workers -- 44% of respondents 50 or older --are
hanging on to their jobs, thanks to the economic climate and stock market decline,
finds a recent Watson Wyatt World survey. This is bad news for
employers eager to reduce payroll, but a boon for those who were unprepared
for the mass retirement of baby boomers. The Wall Street Journal
(7/13) , CBS News (7/13).
According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, By 2016 workers age 65+
will comprise 6.1% of the total labor force, up from 3.6% in 2006.
German chemical
manufacturer, BASF, is rolling out new perks designed to appeal to older
employees, such as health and wellness initiatives. At the same time, the
company is trying to pump up recruitment efforts, going so far as to send
workers into elementary schools to teach classes. "If we don't deal with
aging, we'll face a serious challenge," says BASF human resources chief
Hartmut Lang. CNNMoney.com/Fortune (7/13)
Hearty laughter could help
diabetics improve their cholesterol levels and possibly lower their risk of
heart attack, according to a recent study by Dr. Lee Berk of Loma Linda
University, California. Berk and his colleague, Dr. Stanley Tan, an
endocrinologist and diabetes specialist, assigned 20 adults with type 2
diabetes, average age 50, to a control group or the laughter group. All had
high blood pressure and cholesterol. After 12 months the researchers
evaluated both groups by measuring cholesterol levels and levels of
C-reactive protein, a marker of inflammation thought to be associated with
heart disease. The laughter group had an increase in "good" HDL
cholesterol of 26 percent, compared to just a 3 percent increase in the good
cholesterol of the control group. What's the secret? Put very simply, Berk
said, "you are decreasing the bad chemicals in the body with laughter
and increasing the good chemicals, which help you stay well, may prevent
disease and may well have [additional] value relative to the therapies you
are taking." For full report click - http://www.hon.ch/News/HSN/626179.htm
United We Serve, a new Obama initiative to encourage volunteering, launched
June 22 and will run through the new National Day of Service and Remembrance
on September 11, which was created through the Edward M. Kennedy Serve
America Act of 2009. All the tools for participating in this initiative
can be found at Serve.gov.
Please go there today, if you haven't already, to post your own volunteer
projects. Spread the word!
A new webpage from AARP helps Americans find a way to make a difference in
their communities. The Web page http://www.aarp.org/makeadifference/volunteer/create_the_good/
provides information such as current legislation related to civic engagement,
an online community, and interactive tools to help people identify volunteer
opportunities. The site also includes a tool kit, RxSnapShot, to help people
assist older friends and neighbors manage their medications.
Some nuggets from Wharton
School
So You Think Owning a Home Will Make You Happy? Don't Be Too
Sure
Home ownership is not the panacea is it often held to be. According to
new research from Wharton's Grace Wong Bucchianeri, while homeowners
experience significant joy, they also face more aggravation, spend less time
with friends, and are even heavier than renters living in comparable homes.
http://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article/2257.cfm
Ten Commandments from Entrepreneurial 'Evangelist' Guy
Kawasaki
Venture capitalist, consultant and former Apple software
"evangelist" Guy Kawasaki talked about "the art of
innovation" during a recent visit to the University of Pennsylvania. He
offered 10 rules for entrepreneurs and innovators. Among them: Make meaning,
not money.
http://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article/2258.cfm
Stay well, make it new, make it
better!
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