Welcome
to my monthly e-newsletter "The Quest." My name
is Siobhan (Sha-vaun) Murphy and my company provides coaching,
training and speaking services to entrepreneurs, professionals
and executives.
" Mistakes are portals to discovery." ~ by James Joyce MISTAKES and LEARNING
Recently, I made a big mistake. (What? Me?) Yes. And when I became aware of it, the usual yucky feelings washed over me. Embarrassment, stupidity, fear, shame or some combination of this messy cocktail spilled over me like a wave. I allowed the feelings to pass.
Then, I was driving by my local diner (the Peter Pan) and saw the quote above about making mistakes. It turns out that the Lentzeres brothers, who own the diner, offer food for thought as well as food for the belly.
Mistakes and how we relate to them have a major affect on how we learn. Since coaching is essentially a sophisticated form of learning, how people learn is a topic of great interest to me. What I’ve observed is that somewhere along the line from when we learned to walk and adulthood, many people have come to judge their mistake making negatively.
When we watch a small child learn to walk, they make tons of “mistakes” in the process. Walk a few steps. Fall down. Laugh. Pick yourself up and walk again. Fall again. And on it goes. They are literally unable to learn to walk without lots of falling down. Yet many adults try on new behaviors, habits, skills and if they can’t do them perfectly right at the start, they revert back to their old ways of behaving.
It is essential to go through the “clumsy, awkward and stupid” stage in order to learn! Franklin Covey did a study about training that showed that after a training class, performance actually dips! Only with reinforcement and coaching did the new skills “stick.” I’m convinced that one of the most important parts of follow up coaching is to assist people in moving through the “clumsy, awkward and stupid” stage of learning. Mistakes, in this context, become portals of discovery about what’s working and what needs to be tweaked.
So, I asked myself one of my favorite questions: “What’s perfect about this mistake?” Well, I learned where I can improve in the future. I learned about standing up for myself. I learned about better negotiating up front. And I learned more about how I learn. The “mistake” was filled with opportunity and information for me.
Coach’s request: What mistake have you made lately? What did you learn from it? Now that you’ve made it, are you willing to move through your feelings about it into the portal of discovery?
I’d love to hear your experience with how you’ve handled mistakes. Just e-mail me at smm@questcoaching.com with the SUBJECT: MISTAKES AND LEARNING in the header.
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I help clients make connections between the invisible – their thoughts, feelings and attitudes – and the visible – the tangible results they experience in their lives. E-mail me to see how coaching can help you shine your light brighter on smm@questcoaching.com.
Excelerator Coaching in Ireland. Managers: Want to learn how to coach your staff more effectively? Always wanted to go to Ireland and want a good reason to go now? Are you a coach or trainer who would love to add a powerful coaching program to your offerings? Are you an expert who would love to help your clients implement your expertise more readily? Siobhan is off to Ireland with Coach Carollyne Conlinn to bring you an amazing two day coaching experience. Early September 2004. Cork City. See www.exceleratorcoaching.com or e-mail Siobhan for more details.
