When Disaster Strikes

Recently, Hurricane Katrina devastated the southern part of the United States. TV Stations brought the disaster in living color to our living rooms and the news carried tales of the disaster for weeks. At the same time, a family member experienced a health hurricane of their own.

When bad things happen, it's so easy to get caught up in the negative. In "awful-izing," blaming, ringing of hands and outrage. These are well worn paths for human beings.

I've worked most of my coaching career on getting people to see the positive side of things. Not because I'm a Pollyanna and have my head in the sand, but because we can make better decisions, and have more energy with which to execute those decisions when we see the situation in a larger perspective containing what went right as well as what went wrong.

A few weeks after Katrina hit, the New York Post ran an article about "What went right." Turns out there were many stories of first responders doing the right thing, ordinary citizens who stepped up to the challenge of helping their neighbors and strangers, and many remarkable heroic acts that went unreported. Why were they so long in making it to the news? Well, as Lou Dolinar reported, "What looked like a hurricane-relief breakdown was in fact a press-release breakdown." The people saving lives just weren’t sending out reports about it!

In my own family "hurricane", I also found it easy to go down the path of awful-izing and blaming in an effort to understand what had happened in my world. I put out an e-mail to friends and family for support. One of my coaching partners, Judi Richardson, e-mailed back with a great coaching statement. She wrote: "I could feel how your loving energy is being called to the health care system – to bring yourself lovingly to everyone you meet. The healing potential is amazing!"

Talk about reframing! In that one sentence, Judi invited me to choose how I would show up in this situation. I could go into the hospital fearful and blaming and small, or I could show up as the teacher and light that I am and bring a blessing to everyone I met in that system. So, I blessed the nurses, the aides and the doctors. I blessed the other patients and the machines and testing equipment. I blessed my family and all we were going through. I asked: What is the higher purpose of this experience? What's going right?

Well, we were grateful we weren't in a hospital in New Orleans, for starters. As we focused on what was going right, we had a long list of blessings. This reframing helped us to stay sane through a difficult situation and make better decisions to support our family member.

Coaching questions:

• What situation in your life could use re-framing?
• Are you ready to drop blame and focus on potential solutions?
• What could focusing on what IS working do for you?

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Siobhan Murphy was nominated to be International Coach of the Year. This annual award recognized Masterful Coaching around the globe.

Contest

Several months ago, we ran a contest for great ideas for Quest Coaching International. Lisa Pomerantz was the winner of a Home Locker donated by www.lockersforthehome.com. These are provided by Young Equipment Sales and are a huge hit in kids' rooms, the garage, the basement or other area where you are looking for a creative solution to your storage needs. Great gift idea for the holidays. Thanks Lisa and thanks YES!

Coaching in the News