The Resolutionary" is a newsletter for individuals committed to examining their life and work with a desire to improve the quality and results of their experience - for themselves, and those around them. It's purpose is to share insights, tools and resources for people who desire to authentically engage in meaningful dialogue with themselves and others. (The Resolutionary is in three parts) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 1. FAITH, TRUST, AND LOVE OF GOD xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 7. COURAGE AND FREEDOM By Tom Heuerman, Ph.D. @2001 It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, "Always do what you are afraid to do." Ralph Waldo Emerson It was 4:00 AM. I walked through the dark, cold, and lonely maze of more than 100 apartment buildings. I would go in the front door, throw a couple of newspapers in front of apartment doors, and go out the back door. It was 1974, and I delivered newspapersseven mornings a week. I was a year out of treatment for alcoholism, and life was difficult as I sought to compose a new life. As I worked hard in my sobriety, the rest of my life fell apart. My marriage was strained, jobs were scarce, bills were stacking up, and this honorable work was difficult and paid little. I was discouraged and scared about where my life was going. Sobriety was not what I expected it to be. I attended AA meetings and a weekly growth group at St. Mary's hospital in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Many people shared their well-intended advice with me. I was confused and befuddled as I tried to sort out the conflicting voices. The more I listened to others, the worse things became I did not trust my own perceptions of life after experiencing the denial and projection of alcoholism. My confidence in myself was shaken. I felt reluctant to break away from the advice of those sober longer than I. But I had to do something. I decided on that dreary winter morning that I would make my own choices in life from that moment forward. I had little to lose I focused, went through my fear, and from that day forward cut my own path in life instead of doing what others or society expected of me. I quit the growth group and switched to a different-non AA--12-Step group. Those I left predicted my return to alcohol in short order. I am now sober for 27 * years (knock on wood). Twenty years after that morning, near the top of the company I delivered newspapers for and more successful than the organization could handle, I walked away from the corporate world rather than conform to pressures to be less than my best. Eight years after that I continue to make choices that go against expectations. Fear remains a frequent companion along with my resolve and passion to live an authentic life. Aristotle believed that courage is the first of the human virtues, because courage makes the other virtues possible. Philosopher and author Peter Koestenbaum said courage begins with the decision to face the ultimate truth about existence: we live free to define ourselves at every moment. We become what we choose to be from the depth of our souls. Rollo May differed from Aristotle and wrote that freedom, not courage, gives birth to all values. Freedom equals possibility. Freedom engages our destiny in our day to day choices. Freedom, essential to human dignity, ignites our authenticity. This inner personal freedom underlies our political freedom. When we give up our inner freedom we lose our autonomy and self-direction-the qualities that distinguish us from robots and computers. If we give up our inner freedom, we ultimately give up our political freedom. To be courageous and to exercise our freedom fully is difficult. None of us can be authentic completely, as our imperfections and pressures to conform confront us daily. Also our defenses protect us from the anxiety that comes with freedom and authenticity. We often limit ourselves to control the anxiety we feel and, in the process, lower our visions and shut down our creativity. Many live marginally like the robots and walking dead in organizations. Many choose mediocrity in exchange for the illusion of security. Freedom and courage became important topics of conversation after the terrorist attacks in the United States on September 11, 2001. We see our freedoms threatened by terrorist attacks, intrusive security measures, and new laws to help law enforcement combat the terrorists (beware of those who would protect your freedom). The anxiety provokers--media, politicians, and armchair generals--increase our level of fear, often for self-serving reasons. Fear corrodes our freedom to be. Fear confuses our thoughts, clouds our decisions, and impedes normal life. Fear blocks hope. With all the outside threats, we-you and I-remain, as always, the greatest threat to our own freedom. Parker Palmer wrote that people who find the courage to stop living divided lives do so when they come to understand that no terror or punishment anyone might inflict on them could possibly be worse than the punishment they inflict on themselves by conspiring in their own diminishment. Anxiety and freedom go together. Anxiety accompanies the move into possibility. We accept fear and go through it if we want to be free. Our organizations and institutions do not exist as bastions of freedom. We lived in a fear-based society long before the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. With so much fear in our society, and in our organizations, many do not live free or authentic lives. What lies beneath our conformity in organizations, our compliance with injustice, and our failure to bear witness for others in our organizations, if not fear? What determines our choices to stay in bad relationships, to pursue material things mindlessly, and to be unable to make important decisions, if not fear? Why do we settle for mediocrity, if not for fear? Why do we not hold people accountable, if not for fear? We are inauthentic and only a fraction of what we might be. Why, if not for fear? The terrorist attacks simply gave us another opportunity to be victims, another chance to claim powerlessness, and another excuse to participate in our own diminishment. They also gave us the opportunity to say "NO MORE." We live free when we make our own authentic choices (including our mistakes) in life and move toward our inherent potential. We can, if we want to, choose to live courage-based lives in all we do just as we can choose to be victims, helpless, and powerless. We can choose to be alive, and we can choose to be soul dead. Each of us bears the responsibility to choose for ourselves. Our organizations and our institutions have the same responsibility. Leaders can use the powerful blow of terrorism to jolt people from the mediocrity so common in many organizations and institutions. Leaders can turn the misfortune of tragedy and economic decline into new resolve and new learning and development for employees. Leaders can look this tragedy in the eye and use loss to move us to our proudest efforts, our most profound sensitivity, and our brightest creative vision. Leaders can choose to respond to recession and create courage-based organizations that embrace change, honor diversity,and values responsibility and accountability in pursuit of a sustainable future. Leaders can also choose to live in fear, remain mediocre, withdraw defensively, demand conformity, and reward irresponsibility as they accept the inevitable demise of the enterprise. When we claim our freedom we commit to live our purpose in life (why we exist). We can think of 911 as a call for self-examination and movement to a higher state of consciousness. We purge from our souls the potential for similar evil in our lives, and we see anxiety-creating situations as opportunities to develop our souls, spirits, and selves. We engage, confront, cooperate with, and challenge our highest potential. We become Abraham Maslow's good person: aware, responsible, and self-evolving. The world lives in the midst of a massive transformation. The outcome remains unknown and will be decided by the moment to moment decisions of all. The choice of courage and freedom externalizes a great virtue. Through our struggle the tired, lonely, and discouraged will reach through the darkness and will change the world with faith that every life lived authentically contributes to the health of the whole. Nothing guarantees the outcome when we choose freedom and authenticity in our lives. We often make our choices for courage and authenticity from the dark, cold, and lonely places of our souls from where our greatest creativity always emerges.Frequently we pay a price and have obstacles to overcome in exchange for being alive. Mike O'Donnell of Ouray, Colorado guided blind Eric Weihenmayer to the top of Mount Everest last spring. At 27,000 feet Michael had to make a tough decision: should he stay behind to help the team's photographer repair broken equipment and perhaps lose his chance to reach the summit or continue on with Weihenmayer, who Michael had been training with for a year? He chose to help his teammate. They fixed the equipment and continued on toward the summit. At 28,000 feet Michael ran out of oxygen. He had to choose betweengoing down the mountain or continuing to the 29,000-foot summit, knowing that few who ran out of oxygen above 25,000 feet survived "the death zone." Michael, drawing on his knowledge of himself and a lifetime's experience as a climber, decided to continue to the summit. Each laborious step, without oxygen, was a journey in itself. Michael 'Donnell went through the wall and made it to the summit of Mount Everest on May 25, 2001. In Latin the word mediocre means "halfway up the mountain." Many of us and many organizations have settled for the illusion of safety and security halfway up our personal and organizational mountains. Often the last steps to the top of the mountains present the most challenges. When taken with courage and commitment they often lead to the greatest realization of our potential. Michael O'Donnell would tell you and me that if he can climb his mountain, you and I can climb ours. Our hearts beat free. I hope each of us has the courage to go where our heart will take us. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 8. CAF*S FOR A NEW WORLD THE JANUARY COMMONS CAF*S INITIATIVE: COMING TOGETHER We are pleased to announce a new initiative: "Cafes for a New World". For the month of January, we are encouraging people all around the nation and the world to engage in deep, meaningful conversations about our lives, our challenges and our future in the post September 11th world. We are asking YOU to become a Caf* Host, to organize a dialog group during the month of January. We will provide organization, framework, networking and review/evaluation. In addition, we are asking you to spread the word throughout your networks, your contact lists, your neighborhoods, your associations. CREATING A LIFE AFFIRMING FUTURE: Since September 11th, Americans have been asking themselves, "What can I do?" Reaching out to others, in heart-felt communion and communication, is something we all can do. In the light of the atrocity of September 11th, we as a human community are facing new questions.... new questions without easy answers. What beliefs and values do we hold most dear in this time of uncertainty and change? What deeper opportunities might this time make possible in our lives? What can we each do personally to contribute to a life affirming future.... for ourselves and our society? We are designing the January Caf*s to be: BRIEF CAF* HISTORY: Sharif Abdullah designed the Commons Caf* in order to address two divergent trends in America: our issues are becoming more complex, while our avenues for meaningful dialogue are becoming more superficial. Additionally, we do not encounter "the Other," those who are not like "us," in order to involve them in our conversations. Sharif's vision of the Caf* (inspired by Juanita Brown and The World Caf* process) looks like this: A few friends gather at a crowded coffee house. Conversations deepen. Fundamental issues are discussed. People at another table overhear and join the conversation, presenting different points of view. The conversation is lively, furious, but friendly. No one is trying to "win". Sharif says that every Commons Caf* is an experiment. This takes a little courage on the part of the participants, since most of us like to know in advance how things will turn out. The goal of the Commons Caf* is not to advocate any particular position. The goal is to create inclusive communities and a future that works for all. THE CONTEXT FOR THE JANUARY CAF*S: Someone said that we cannot predict our future - we can only create it. In the face of the changes to our world in September 11th, we have three choices: 1. we can pretend that things are "normal", One of our goals is to help us become visible to ourselves. Instead of looking at each other through the media or through opinion polls or talk radio, we will interact with each other across a table, over a cup of coffee or tea. OUR PLANS FOR THE MONTH OF JANUARY: During the month of January 2002, concerned citizens, colleagues and friends from the Commonway network and other networks across the nation and around the world will host Commons Caf*s. These caf*s will take place in neighborhood coffeehouses and restaurants, in organizations, in churches, in schools, and in homes across the world. The Commons Caf*s create a welcoming environment for friends, neighbors, co-workers and even those who have never met to join the conversation. The local January conversations are part of a much larger network of conversations exploring questions critical to our common future. Through the Caf* process, we can see that we are not alone. We discover that each of our conversations is critical to help us co-evolve a future that works for all. In early February, local hosts will share our learnings, insights, and discoveries with those from each of our networks. Further dialog groups and actions may flow from this January initiative. This January initiative is intended to be the impetus for greater rounds of dialogs throughout 2002 and 2003. CAF* GUIDELINES: It is our intention that the January caf*s are self-guiding. Therefore, we have placed guidelines for conducting the Caf*s on the Commonway website, so that you can download and examine the instructions. Go to www.commonway.org/cafesindex or the Commonway Main Menu for more information. CAF* QUESTIONS: One of the connecting threads of the Caf*s for a New World is that similar groups from across the nation and around the world will be pondering the same questions in roughly the same time frame. We will be disseminating to registered Caf* Hosts a list of sub-themes and questions that respond to our general theme - visioning our future in a post- September 11th world. DATES/TIMES: You can have a Commons Caf* at any time. However, for the month of January, we are encouraging the Caf*s for the New World to take place between 15-31 January. This will allow us to more easily monitor and evaluate the impact of the caf*s. SPONSORS LIST: "Caf*s for a New World" is sponsored by The Caf* Collaborative, a group of us who encourage dialog as a key element in evolving a transformed society. Collaborators include: The World Caf* If you want more information about "Caf*s for a New World", please click here: CAF* HOSTS REGISTRATION: Your name We will provide a database of Caf* Hosts, so that people in your locale can contact you to participate. (If there is anyone with expertise who would like to donate such a database, please let us know.) I look forward to working with you for a conversation-filled January!! Peace, Sharif VISIT THE COMMONWAY WEBSITE: http://www.commonway.org (503) 281-1667
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