Hello Everyone - Thank you all for the very warm welcome. So many friends responded to my last message with a "Welcome Home." It felt real good. I want to share some thoughts about conflict. These were developed by a copywrighter. I would appreciate your reaction before they are more widely distributed. Thanks for your response. Noted cardiologist Dr. Dean Ornish says that the greatest The risk of Heart Disease, Hypertension, Cancer and the family of autoimmune diseases are significantly increased by the stress of unresolved conflict. I can l show you exactly what to do to resolve the conflicts in your life. I can help because I've been there... During the last 35 years, I have resolved thousands of conflicts and impacted the lives of many more people through my books and speaking. I have worked with individuals, couples, families, small business, partners, teams, organizations, government agencies, and joint ventures. And as a lawyer, mediator, facilitator, trainer and speaker I have saved people millions. That's how I got the nickname "The Resolutionary". But the biggest lessons that can help you have come from my own personal victories over conflict. I've learned the hard way about what unresolved conflict can do. Divorce, failed relationships, bankruptcy and devastating depression have taught me what I know. My own heartbreaks have driven me to discover keys that can change your life. Lessons learned "in the thick of it". For over 35 years, I've been working with people in conflict, in all types of situations. From feuding partners to disgruntled employees, frustrated consumers to divorcing couples, divided teams to struggling salespeople -- I've been right there in the thick of it, helping to resolve impossible situations, and saving thousands of relationships. It's been my lifelong career. Over that 35 years, I've discovered exactly what works, and what doesn't work when it comes to preventing, resolving, and avoiding conflict. And these same principles, and the psychology behind them, can work for you too. I know, because they've worked for thousands of people just like you. Fighting and "barking" at each other is An accepted mantra I heard as a young lawyer: "if everyone is unhappy, you have a good settlement." Pardon my French, but that's #!@*)%! As a "player" in the legal profession, it became clear to me that the formal, "mystical" process lawyers walk people through, often becomes more about the "lawyer's case" than solving the persons problem. It was very frustrating. The heart of conflict. All conflict is emotional. Whether it's a divorce, a business dispute, or organizational breakdown, it's never about what people say they're fighting about - it's always about their emotions. That's why I show people how to start off with a meeting of mind and heart. Beginning with a thoughtful, frank discussion on the front end, and reaching a joint vision of the outcome is much more powerfully efficient than trying to "win" a disagreement later. Agreement is more powerful than conflict. We succeed in life by forming agreements, agreements with others and ourselves. In fact, the ability to craft effective agreements, and collaborative partnerships is a fundamental life skill critical to your success in business, sales, leadership, and professions of every kind. But surprisingly, agreement is a skill we were never taught. The traditional idea is to create agreements for protection that focus on providing remedies for what goes wrong. This seems logical, but one of main causes of agreement breakdown is that the process of forming the agreement is seen as negotiating - an adversarial process each party tries to win. What if we shifted the context of the process of forming agreements from adversarial, win/lose negotiating to a joint visioning process that articulates an inclusive vision of outcomes, and generates a clear road map to desired results? What if we learned to design agreements that express a joint vision that satisfies everyone? What if you can easily benefit from this life-changing approach in your business, career, relationships and life? The results would be resolutionary! I'm creating a new series of resources and programs that show you in step-by-step detail all the most effective success strategies I've developed over 35 years. It's different than anything you've seen. Traditional mediation, and advice of this kind typically focus on what do when you're already in a conflict. The Power of Agreement not only shows you how to resolve conflict, but also what to do to prevent it. Once you get this information, you'll be able to use it to lead more effectively, advance your career, get more business, and enjoy better results in your daily life. Want to learn more? In my seminars you'll discover: What to measure to convince you that continuing the conflict makes you a loser. The one step guaranteed to end any conflict immediately. The one critical question you must ask everyone involved in the conflict. How to master the most critical communication skills. You'll discover kernels of wisdom that can save you years of pain and frustration: 1. Why all conflict takes place at the level of personality. 2. The critical importance of listening and a fool proof method to learn the skill. 3. The most powerful negotiation tool that trumps all others. 4. The critical life skill we never learned that can prevent most conflict. 5. Why it is essential to understand and develop a good relationship with conflict. 6. The difference between Compromise and Resolution and why compromise . 7. What is in a Win / Win Agreement, and how can you create them? 8. What is the most powerful tool for getting the results you really want? 9. What is the true Cost of Conflict? 10. How can you develop an Attitude of Resolution. 11. How to prevent most of the conflict in your marriage. 12. How to have effective work relationships weather you are the boss, the manager or the employee. 13. What is the critical ingredient in a high performance team? 14. What actions will get you the results you want, and ways of thinking are actions? 15. A road map for letting go of the past and creating a vision for the future. 16. How to KNOW that Suffering is Optional. 17. Why winning the conflict can mean losing in the long run. 18. The three critical conversational steps to resolve any conflict. 19. The Joy and Satisfaction of Resolution and the Results and Empowerment it brings. 20. A 90 Day Plan that will lead to the peace of mind you desire and deserve.
Wondering if my strategies can work for you? Listen to the experience of others: "You are an extraordinary facilitator. You resolve issues that stifle productivity and create partnership where everyone thought it was impossible." Gail Johnson, Sierra Adoption Services "We have already short circuited recurring arguments by crafting agreements like we learned to do in the seminar. Thank you again for bringing the distinction of agreement to our relationship." "You helped me so much in the past with the economic resolution with my partner, Shirley. I was able to create a win-win situation. Sorry it's taking me so long to respond with my appreciation." Dr. Mayra Fernandez "Stewart, it has been invaluable to have worked with you and learned the agreement process. It is a great foundation for both business and personal relationships. The process will be a powerful tool to create from for the rest of my life. I am very grateful. Rebecca Hubbell If I've struck a cord and you're intrigued you won't want to miss the upcoming San Diego event. Come alone, come with someone you love, come with someone you're fighting with. Special guest! Money back guarantee! You have nothing to lose.
******************************************************
Dear Friends and Colleagues, It has been a strange summer, almost as if the world were holding its breath, waiting. . . for what? War continues in Iraq, but it all seems more of the same. The American economy moves a step forward, only to fall a step back. True, the embattled Liberians appear to be in for a moment of peace, and in The Middle East, there are some small signs of progress, but the Fence continues to extend, the settlements to expand. A friend of mine says this is the time for Silent Witness, and I agree -- at least for myself. Silent Witness is absolutely not to be confused with non-involvement, although it is definitely at the other end of the spectrum from active Doing. The role of Silent Witness is obviously not for everyone (thank God) for there are many things to be done, but with all the doing, there is a place for quiet contemplation, the simple holding of all that is in clear consciousness -- fully recognizing that the consciousness is never clear and the totality of creation vastly exceeds our capacity to hold. It is an affirmative role, acknowledging what is -- without blame or judgement. It is also remarkably difficult and hard work. The obvious wrongs and abundant, arrogant stupidities in our midst call out to be fixed. And what good is a Silent Witness? Shouldn't we be doing something?? At a personal level, the role of Silent Witness is a marvelous way to re-establish perspective. In the confusion of the moment, I find it useful to recall that the President of the most powerful nation on Earth is but a dust spot on the great panorama of human history, no matter what the White House press office may say. Further, that great panorama of human history is barely a nanosecond in the history of our planet, which is turn is only a minor subplot at the edge of a second rate Galaxy. In the grand order of things, our tribulations add up to little more than a minor cosmic dust eddy. Far from being depressing, I find this perspective cleansing to a soul over busied with troubles and concerns. Of course, I understand this is our world and our lives that stand in jeopardy -- but I count it as a great privilege just being here. Even if all I feel like doing is bitch. On a broader level, I find the role of Silent Witness to be a salient addition to the mad world of every day doing. A point of reference, a steady rock in the winds, a constant reminder of who we really are when we feel lost in the trivia and tumult. I am quite clear that being the Silent Witness in this broader sense is not a role you can claim for yourself. The role can only be conferred by our fellows. I am deeply thankful for those special creatures who are Silent Witnesses for me. And if in some way I can return the favor, I will feel blessed. And so this summer I have found myself engaged as Silent Witness, if only for myself. The fact that I have been here in Maine by a lake, with multiple forays to the nearby ocean since June, and have no expectation of leaving until September, should have made my task all the easier. But appearances can be deceiving. For the first time in my life that I can remember, I have done nothing of substance. No books have been written, edited, even thought about. Not a conference or congress on my calender. And the last client I saw was in Washington almost two months ago. Ideal, you might think, but I have never struggled more in my life. Doing nothing, it turns out, is very hard work. Come September, it will be back to the doing side of things. And it would be my hope to spend time with as many of you who care to connect. In addition to the serendipitous crossing of paths, you might also make an intention (forget about plans) to join me and some wonderful colleagues in The Practice of Peace. Calling this a training program would be a misnomer. I would prefer, Learning Expedition -- as we all explore our roles and responsibilities as peacemakers for ourselves, our organizations, and our world over the course of three rich and intense days. The expedition departs from Toronto in September (contact Larry Peterson < larry@spiritedorg.com> or Audrey Coward I look forward to seeing you when and wherever! Harrison * |
||
 
To subscribe to this list, please send an e-mail message to:
|
