The Resolutionary

RESOLUTIONARY IDEAS
A Message of Thought Leadership

STEWART LEVINE, Esq., RESOLUTIONARY
510-814-1010
SUBSCRIBE TO "RESOLUTIONARY IDEAS" at
www.ResolutionWorks.org or www.StewartLevine.com

Most don't know what to do...
Knowledge knows what to do...
Wisdom knows what to think!

Unknown


Not sure if it's the time of year in terms of less sunlight or the holiday season but I have a confession to make. This "resolutionary" is having trouble being reasonable and rational. I have a voice that wants to fight, win, kick butt and be right. I guess my "shadow" is raising its head so I get the opportunity to embrace all of me - even the parts that frighten me and have me want to run away from myself, all responsibilities and everything I've worked hard to create. Here are some lessons I have taken from the observation of the voices of the shadow side over the past few weeks:

> The "mind" truly is a "monkey mind" that will run amuck from one phrase to another if you don't stay conscious and observe what it does - the challenge of discernment is to know which voices to listen to, and how to program what's there

> No matter how much "work" we have done on ourselves the shadow is always lurking, ready to take over

> The "work" never ends - it's an ongoing process that requires more, not less as we get older, and life gets more complex and challenging; AND, it also gets much easier to step into a solid peaceful core if you have cultivated one

> The confines of a public identity can be a challenge when you realize you are bigger than the identity

> BHAG's (Big Hairy Audacious Goals) always take longer to reach than you thought; and the final steps are the most challenging and the place most people quit ( I just read today that Walt Disney went bankrupt three times on the road to producing Mickey Mouse.)

> No one can do any of the above for you

> Faith can abandon you for a while

> When you are personally challenged you find out who your real friends are

> Personal integrity is all we really have, no one can take it away

> It's never about them - it's always about you AND it's never about you, it's always about something bigger

> It's not how many times you fall down that matters - it's how many times you get up and weather you cross what you decide is your finish line

I hope there's some light that will help you forage through the winter.

With Love,

Stewart

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1. AMY BEALE
2. MAN IN BLACK
3. DALAI LAMA
4. RESOLUTION
5. JANUARY SEMINAR
6. POEM - LIFE
7. AFFILIATES
8. UPCOMING EVENTS
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1. AMY BEALE

This was sent recently. I apologize for not noting the person who sent it along. Please let me know and I'll pass the credit along. ..

"Since you ask for contributions... Here's a piece about Amy Beale, the Stanford grad killed in South Africa whose parents pursued reconciliation instead of revenge. I met Amy Beale's mother a while back at a gathering for investment in South Africa. What this family has done seems so pertinent to your work...."

House minority leader Richard Gephardt at the DNC on Wednesday, August 17, 2000:

A few months ago I traveled to South Africa, a nation struggling to overcome years of oppression. I had the honor to meet Nelson Mandela, and I heard him explain his forgiveness of his captors of 27 years by saying hatred and bitterness are destructive, the power is in love and forgiveness. The next day I met Peter and Linda Beale. Peter told me that his daughter Amy had graduated from Stanford and went to South Africa as a Fulbright Scholar to help with healing and reconciliation. One day Amy was driving down a street in a township in Cape Town. Some young people had just come from a political rally. They were on that street. They saw Amy in her car, they stopped her, pulled her out of the car, beat her, and with a knife through her heart they killed her. Peter and Linda wanted to see where their daughter had been killed, and they went to Cape Town and saw the conditions that Amy was trying to change. They decided that the best way to make meaning of their daughter's death was to establish the Amy Beale Foundation to provide people with a better way, a nonviolent way, with the prospect of hope, a job, nutrition and better health. Later, Peter and Linda , who are here tonight with their daughters Kim and Molly , were asked if they wanted to meet the young people who had killed their daughter. They got to know them, they forgave them and helped them after they were released from jail. As I was listening to Peter and Linda , all I could think of was my children. I asked Peter , "How could you do this? How could you have the emotional power to do this?'' He said, "Hatred is destructive. The power of healing and love and forgiveness is the positive force in our world.'' Later, when we were in a distribution center for Amy's Bread, the bread of peace and hope, we were talking to a young South African who's running the company. He's bursting with enthusiasm, mindful of the ideals that inspired it and telling us about the foundation, the bread they're selling, the money they're putting towards violence prevention, and he's talking, as he's talking I look over and I see Peter. Tears are streaming down his face, he's crying, and Peter looks at me and says simply, "Amy's in the room.'' America is a great country. We are so wealthy. But our one remaining challenge is to fulfill the potential of all of our people, and the only way we can do that is to try to bring everybody in this country together to a higher place, humbly, give us this opportunity and it will be done.

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2. MAN IN BLACK

Yes, I sent it last month, but it seems important to repeat during the holiday season to make sure we remember those less fortunate.

MAN IN BLACK by Johnny Cash

Well, you wonder why I always dress in black,
Why you never see bright colors on my back,
And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone.
Well, there's a reason for the things that I have on.

I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down,
Livin' in the hopeless, hungry side of town,
I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime,
But is there because he's a victim of the times.

I wear the black for those who never read,
Or listened to the words that Jesus said,
About the road to happiness through love and charity,
Why, you'd think He's talking straight to you and me.

Well, we're doin' mighty fine, I do suppose,
In our streak of lightnin' cars and fancy clothes,
But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back,
Up front there ought 'a be a Man In Black.

I wear it for the sick and lonely old,
For the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold,
I wear the black in mournin' for the lives that could have been,
Each week we lose a hundred fine young men.

And, I wear it for the thousands who have died,
Believen' that the Lord was on their side,
I wear it for another hundred thousand who have died,
Believen' that we all were on their side.

Well, there's things that never will be right I know,
And things need changin' everywhere you go,
But 'til we start to make a move to make a few things right,
You'll never see me wear a suit of white.

Ah, I'd love to wear a rainbow every day,
And tell the world that everything's OK,
But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back,
'Till things are brighter, I'm the Man In Black

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3. DALAI LAMA

Thank you Ed Rholl for sending the Instructions for Life from the Dalai Lama. I have annotated each instruction in CAPS in terms of how it relates to a principle or practice of resolution and agreement.

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk. THE RISK IS OFTEN THE COURAGE IT TAKES TO BE STRONG ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT FIGHTING WILL NOT REALLY GET YOU WHAT YOU WANT AND THAT THERE ARE NO REAL WINNERS.

2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson. THE ONLY LOSS IS NOT GETTING THE LESSON. RESOLUTION IS ABOUT LEARNING.

3. Follow the three R's: Respect for self, respect for others and responsibility for all your actions. TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS IS A GIANT STEP TOWARD RESOLUTION

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck. "WINNING" OFTEN INSN'T

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly. THAT'S WHAT LAWYER'S TELL YOU HOW TO DO

6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship. NEVER LEND MONEY TO A FRIEND - ALWAYS MAKE IT A GIFT

7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. APOLOGY IS A GIANT STEP

8. Spend some time alone every day. REFLECTION GETS YOU BEYOND REACTION

9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values. LETTING VALUES GOVERN CONDUCT HONORS YOUR INTEGRITY

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. RESPONSE IS MUCH BETTER THAN REACTION...REMEMBER "YOU CANNOT UNPUNCH SOMEONE!"

11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time. SEE 9

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life. TRY BRINGING THAT TO ALL CONFLICT...FOCUS ON THE OFFENDING BEHAVIOR, NOT THE PERSON

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past. ONLY IF YOU WANT TO PRESERVE THE RELATIONSHIP

14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality. TO TEACH IS TO LEARN TWICE

15. Be gentle with the earth. REMEMBER THIS WHEN IN CONFLICT WITH SOMEONE YOU MUST DEAL WITH IN THE FUTURE

16. Once a year, go some place you've never been before. TRY TO BE CREATIVE IN PROBLEM SOLVING AND BE OPEN TO WHAT YOU HAVE NOT THOUGHT OF BEFORE

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. ALWAYS HAVE A BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement) so you can walk away (See "Getting to Yes."

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. REMEMBER THE REAL COST OF CONFLICT

19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon. NOTHING TO LOSE, ALL TO DISCOVER!

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4. RESOLUTION

In this very emotional time of year take the initiative to "resolve" an unresolved relationship. No matter what you might buy for yourself or them the gift of resolution will far outweigh the value of the material object. Healing what festers is a huge present. Here are the seven steps. Let me know if you want more complete directions and I'll let you know what to do.

The 7 Steps of the Resolution Process include:

One: ATTITUDE OF RESOLUTION - new thinking about conflict / agreement
Two: TELLING THE STORY - everyone's uninterrupted turn to speak
Three: PRELIMINARY VISION - the focus on what would be fair to everyone
Four: CURRENT and COMPLETE - letting go and leaving the past behind
Five: AGREEMENT IN PRINCIPLE - what is the new relationship
Six: NEW AGREEMENT - details and plan for the new relationship
Seven: RESOLUTION - in action and productivity without "chatter"

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5. JANUARY SEMINAR

On January 30-31 I will lead a seminar in the Bay Area called "Living By Agreement" I have priced the seminar at $295 per person for two full days of hands on instruction. The price is so low ($ 1295 Value) because I want to get cost out of the way for people
who want to learn how to create more peace and more results in their life. Look for details very soon or send me an email asking for a flier. I have a sense that this will be an event you won't want to miss.

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6. LIFE

LIFE

It picks you up and takes you, places near and far
To realms not contemplated, sometimes with a jar
The inner realms and outer realms, the high and then the low
The pathways that it travels, are dull and then they glow

There's doing and there's being, and even having too
You get to lead and follow, each and every you
The journey you are traveling, can make you smile or scream
It will take you to your heights, and shatter every dream

It's not about what happens, but about response to
The stuff that's on the road you ride, and who rides with you
There's wisdom all around you, in every leaf and drop
You find it in the wind and stream, do harvest every crop

The bounty that is growing, along each curve and bend
Is there to teach you beauty, from beginning to the end
Do not treat things lightly, yet let your heavy go
It's not about the up or down, it's about how you grow

You get just what you're giving, you're always paid in kind
The vehicle that drives you, much grander than your mind
Please let peace be with you as value supreme
Have faith and courage, persevere, and do live your own dream

Careful of the false gods, the charlatans that fake
They will not bring you beauty, give not, they only take
Follow your own heartmaps, the ones burned deep inside
Listen wisdom voices, there's magic in their ride

And as your time grows quiet, when you start smelling end
Then double your aliveness, get closer to each friend
Join with all your brethren, in sea and feathered too
Know what you view through your own lens, no less or more than you

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7. AFFILIATES

MediationWorks www.mediationworks.com/mti/friends.htm.
Sound Healing www.soundhealing.org
Innovative Professional Services www.mytherapynet.com
Berrett-Koehler Publishers, www.BKPub.com

Please send your website...

**********************************************************************8. UPCOMING EVENTS

> December 7-14 IBI Global Faculty, Los Angeles www.IBIGlobal.com

> January 16, 2004 "Managing By Agreement" Evergreen Cove Retreat
Center, Easton, Maryland www.EvergreenCove.org "Living By Agreement" Evergreen Cove Retreat Center, Easton, Maryland www.EvergreenCove.org

> January 17, 2004 "Living By Agreement for Couples / Partners Evergreen Cove Retreat Center, Easton, Maryland www.EvergreenCove.org

> January 18, 2004 Unitarian Universalist Fellowship at Easton, Maryland

> January 21, 2004 Keynote, NASA Goddard Space Center, Greenbelt, MD

> January 23-26, 2004 - Esalen Institute, Big Sur, CA www.Esalen.org

> January 30-31 "Living By Agreement," www.ResolutionWorks.org FIRST BAY AREA PUBLIC SEMINAR IN FIVE YEARS. DETAILS SOON!

> February 24, 2004 Presidio Dialogue Starter: Law and Lawyers www.presidiodialogues.org

> March 6, 2004 Lawyers as Problem Solvers, California Western Law School, San Diego

> April 16-18, 2004 Omega at the Crossings www.Eomega.org

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With less focus on the purely psychological aspects of reaching agreement than 'Getting to Yes' Levine's becomes a much more pragmatic approach." Perdido, Leadership with a Conscience, Review, "The Book of Agreement"

STEWART LEVINE, Esq., RESOLUTIONARY
510-814-1010 Cell: 202-549-5370
SUBSCRIBE TO "THE RESOLUTIONARY" at
www.ResolutionWorks.org or www.StewartLevine.com

Copyright 2003 Stewart Levine. All rights reserved. Please share in whole or in part if copyright and attribution are included.






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