RESOLUTIONARY IDEAS STEWART LEVINE, Esq., RESOLUTIONARY Unknown
> The "mind" truly is a "monkey mind" that will run amuck from one phrase to another if you don't stay conscious and observe what it does - the challenge of discernment is to know which voices to listen to, and how to program what's there > No matter how much "work" we have done on ourselves the shadow is always lurking, ready to take over > The "work" never ends - it's an ongoing process that requires more, not less as we get older, and life gets more complex and challenging; AND, it also gets much easier to step into a solid peaceful core if you have cultivated one > The confines of a public identity can be a challenge when you realize you are bigger than the identity > BHAG's (Big Hairy Audacious Goals) always take longer to reach than you thought; and the final steps are the most challenging and the place most people quit ( I just read today that Walt Disney went bankrupt three times on the road to producing Mickey Mouse.) > No one can do any of the above for you > Faith can abandon you for a while > When you are personally challenged you find out who your real friends are > Personal integrity is all we really have, no one can take it away > It's never about them - it's always about you AND it's never about you, it's always about something bigger > It's not how many times you fall down that matters - it's how many times you get up and weather you cross what you decide is your finish line I hope there's some light that will help you forage through the winter. With Love, Stewart ********************************************************************** 1. AMY BEALE This was sent recently. I apologize for not noting the person who sent it along. Please let me know and I'll pass the credit along. .. "Since you ask for contributions... Here's a piece about Amy Beale, the Stanford grad killed in South Africa whose parents pursued reconciliation instead of revenge. I met Amy Beale's mother a while back at a gathering for investment in South Africa. What this family has done seems so pertinent to your work...." House minority leader Richard Gephardt at the DNC on Wednesday, August 17, 2000: A few months ago I traveled to South Africa, a nation struggling to overcome years of oppression. I had the honor to meet Nelson Mandela, and I heard him explain his forgiveness of his captors of 27 years by saying hatred and bitterness are destructive, the power is in love and forgiveness. The next day I met Peter and Linda Beale. Peter told me that his daughter Amy had graduated from Stanford and went to South Africa as a Fulbright Scholar to help with healing and reconciliation. One day Amy was driving down a street in a township in Cape Town. Some young people had just come from a political rally. They were on that street. They saw Amy in her car, they stopped her, pulled her out of the car, beat her, and with a knife through her heart they killed her. Peter and Linda wanted to see where their daughter had been killed, and they went to Cape Town and saw the conditions that Amy was trying to change. They decided that the best way to make meaning of their daughter's death was to establish the Amy Beale Foundation to provide people with a better way, a nonviolent way, with the prospect of hope, a job, nutrition and better health. Later, Peter and Linda , who are here tonight with their daughters Kim and Molly , were asked if they wanted to meet the young people who had killed their daughter. They got to know them, they forgave them and helped them after they were released from jail. As I was listening to Peter and Linda , all I could think of was my children. I asked Peter , "How could you do this? How could you have the emotional power to do this?'' He said, "Hatred is destructive. The power of healing and love and forgiveness is the positive force in our world.'' Later, when we were in a distribution center for Amy's Bread, the bread of peace and hope, we were talking to a young South African who's running the company. He's bursting with enthusiasm, mindful of the ideals that inspired it and telling us about the foundation, the bread they're selling, the money they're putting towards violence prevention, and he's talking, as he's talking I look over and I see Peter. Tears are streaming down his face, he's crying, and Peter looks at me and says simply, "Amy's in the room.'' America is a great country. We are so wealthy. But our one remaining challenge is to fulfill the potential of all of our people, and the only way we can do that is to try to bring everybody in this country together to a higher place, humbly, give us this opportunity and it will be done. ****************************************************************** Yes, I sent it last month, but it seems important to repeat during the holiday season to make sure we remember those less fortunate. MAN IN BLACK by Johnny Cash Well, you wonder why I always dress in black, I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down, I wear the black for those who never read, Well, we're doin' mighty fine, I do suppose, I wear it for the sick and lonely old, And, I wear it for the thousands who have died, Well, there's things that never will be right I know, Ah, I'd love to wear a rainbow every day, ************************************************************* 1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk. THE RISK IS OFTEN THE COURAGE IT TAKES TO BE STRONG ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT FIGHTING WILL NOT REALLY GET YOU WHAT YOU WANT AND THAT THERE ARE NO REAL WINNERS. 2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson. THE ONLY LOSS IS NOT GETTING THE LESSON. RESOLUTION IS ABOUT LEARNING. 3. Follow the three R's: Respect for self, respect for others and responsibility for all your actions. TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS IS A GIANT STEP TOWARD RESOLUTION 4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck. "WINNING" OFTEN INSN'T 5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly. THAT'S WHAT LAWYER'S TELL YOU HOW TO DO 6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship. NEVER LEND MONEY TO A FRIEND - ALWAYS MAKE IT A GIFT 7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. APOLOGY IS A GIANT STEP 8. Spend some time alone every day. REFLECTION GETS YOU BEYOND REACTION 9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values. LETTING VALUES GOVERN CONDUCT HONORS YOUR INTEGRITY 10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. RESPONSE IS MUCH BETTER THAN REACTION...REMEMBER "YOU CANNOT UNPUNCH SOMEONE!" 11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time. SEE 9 12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life. TRY BRINGING THAT TO ALL CONFLICT...FOCUS ON THE OFFENDING BEHAVIOR, NOT THE PERSON 13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past. ONLY IF YOU WANT TO PRESERVE THE RELATIONSHIP 14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality. TO TEACH IS TO LEARN TWICE 15. Be gentle with the earth. REMEMBER THIS WHEN IN CONFLICT WITH SOMEONE YOU MUST DEAL WITH IN THE FUTURE 16. Once a year, go some place you've never been before. TRY TO BE CREATIVE IN PROBLEM SOLVING AND BE OPEN TO WHAT YOU HAVE NOT THOUGHT OF BEFORE 17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. ALWAYS HAVE A BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement) so you can walk away (See "Getting to Yes." 18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. REMEMBER THE REAL COST OF CONFLICT 19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon. NOTHING TO LOSE, ALL TO DISCOVER! ********************************************************* 4. RESOLUTION In this very emotional time of year take the initiative to "resolve" an unresolved relationship. No matter what you might buy for yourself or them the gift of resolution will far outweigh the value of the material object. Healing what festers is a huge present. Here are the seven steps. Let me know if you want more complete directions and I'll let you know what to do. The 7 Steps of the Resolution Process include: One: ATTITUDE OF RESOLUTION - new thinking about conflict / agreement ******************************************************************** On January 30-31 I will lead a seminar in the Bay Area called "Living By Agreement" I have priced the seminar at $295 per person for two full days of hands on instruction. The price is so low ($ 1295 Value) because I want to get cost out of the way for people **************************************************************** LIFE It picks you up and takes you, places near and far There's doing and there's being, and even having too It's not about what happens, but about response to The bounty that is growing, along each curve and bend You get just what you're giving, you're always paid in kind Careful of the false gods, the charlatans that fake And as your time grows quiet, when you start smelling end **************************************************************** 7. AFFILIATES Please send your website... **********************************************************************8. UPCOMING EVENTS > December 7-14 IBI Global Faculty, Los Angeles www.IBIGlobal.com > January 16, 2004 "Managing By Agreement" Evergreen Cove Retreat > January 17, 2004 "Living By Agreement for Couples / Partners Evergreen Cove Retreat Center, Easton, Maryland www.EvergreenCove.org > January 18, 2004 Unitarian Universalist Fellowship at Easton, Maryland > January 21, 2004 Keynote, NASA Goddard Space Center, Greenbelt, MD > February 24, 2004 Presidio Dialogue Starter: Law and Lawyers www.presidiodialogues.org > March 6, 2004 Lawyers as Problem Solvers, California Western Law School, San Diego > April 16-18, 2004 Omega at the Crossings www.Eomega.org **********************************************************************
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