STEWART LEVINE, Esq., RESOLUTIONARY Unknown ************************************* The greatest conflicts are not Hello Friends - Those simple words are so true. It's taken me a while to Then it's up to me to decide to take action to correct it. No As a gift to yourself, and a great way to begin the New Year, look for a place of discomfort in your life,and the relationship conflict behind it. It could be with a boss, a spouse, a child, a parent or some other loved one. It could be with yourself. It might have happened yesterday, or ten years ago. Whatever it might be,reflect deeply on it, apologize for your part, or out of compassion, let go, and stop paying the cost of remaining May you have a fulfilling and compassionate year. With Love, Stewart ********************************************************************* 1. BOOK OF AWAKENING ***************************** Without hope for the future, without hope that things will change, with no hope of finding what's been lost, and no hope of restoring the past, with only the risk to crack open all that At first, this might seem scary or sad, but as a tired swimmer comes ashore surprised to find pearls washing through his legs, I lift my tired head again to find that all I need is right where I am. But being human, I stray and dream of lives other than my own, and soon I am busy wanting something else, somewhere else, someone else; busy imagining something out of reach to strive It leads me to say that if you are unhappy or in pain, nothing will remove these surfaces. But acceptance and a strong heart will crack them like a shell, exposing a softness that has always been, In the depth of pain about the pending war in Iraq I prayed for guidance about what I might do by way of contribution to prevent war in the future. I recalled interviewing Ray Shonholtz, the founder of Community Boards, the San Francisco based community program As I looked for my path I realized that based on the books I had written I had a lot to share with emerging democracies. Being in Washington I started to meet with organizations that were working in or bidding on contracts that were mostly funded through the US State As you might imagine I'm excited about the possibilities of this project and the adventures beyond. It's a very fertile part of the world to be in right now to practice the art of resolving and preventing conflict. And, like all great opportunities it requires letting go of what's here now, or at least putting some emerging projects on hold. So once again I find myself praying for guidance. I welcome your thoughts, suggestions, insights and strategic information. Stay tuned - I'll keep you posted! Rather than resolutions I suggest that you operationalize what you want to accomplish in 2004 by making agreements with yourself. I guarantee you will be amazed at how doable big goals can become when you see the entire picture and break them down into an agreement 1. INTENT & VISION - The big picture of what you intend to accomplish together must be specified. The first step is sharing a big picture of what you are doing together as a context for the details. The clearer and more specific the detail of desired outcomes, the more likely you will attain them as visualized. 2. ROLES - The duties, responsibilities, and commitment of everyone must be clearly defined. Everyone necessary to achieve the desired results must be part of the agreement. 3. PROMISES - The agreement contains clear promises so everyone knows who will do what. With specific commitments you can tell if the actions will get you to the desired results and what actions are missing. 4. TIME / VALUE - All promises have time deadlines for completion. These are called "by whens" - by when will you do this, and by when will you do that. The time the agreement will be effective is also important. Who gets what for what. Is the exchange satisfactory? Is it fair? Does it provide adequate incentive? Clarity is critical because everyone must anticipate satisfaction or someone will sabotage the transaction. 5. MEASUREMENTS OF SATISFACTION - The evidence that everyone has achieved his or her objectives must be clear, direct, and measurable to prevent disagreement. This element is critical because it eliminates conflict about the ultimate question--Did you accomplish what you set out to do? 6. CONCERNS AND FEARS--Bringing as yet unspoken difficulties to the surface provides the opportunity to anticipate and prevent the challenges you know will come up during the collaboration. This discussion will deepen the partnership being created or let you know this is not a partnership you want to be part of. 7. RENEGOTIATION - No matter how optimistic and clear you are it will become necessary to renegotiate promises and conditions of satisfaction. Circumstances change and it is critical to anticipate this at the beginning so the relationship can evolve and prosper. It is also critical provide everyone with an exit strategy they can follow with dignity. Anyone who feels imprisoned in a transaction, partnership, or relationship cannot make his or her maximum contribution to the enterprise. 8. CONSEQUENCES--Although you may not want to police the agreement, it is important to agree on consequences for anyone who breaks a promise. Even more important, what will be lost to both parties and society if the project does not happen. 9. CONFLICT RESOLUTION--Conflicts and disagreements arise when people work together. If you agree to step into the attitude of resolution, and have an agreed process that leads to a new agreement, resolving conflicts will be easier. 10. AGREEMENT ? - When you have dialogued about the first nine elements it's time to ask whether you trust moving forward. Everyone ought to be satisfied and ready to take action. Now is the time to work on the agreement until you are satisfied that you have an agreement. If you're not clear that you do - you don't. Unless and until you are satisfied, do not move into action. You will not have a shared vision to work toward. Commit to embrace the future as a new opportunity that can be enjoyed. This attitude lubricates the collaboration. Once you have agreement someone (or everyone) must take responsibility for stewarding the project, ensuring the agreement is honored and the intended results are obtained. While this is everyone's responsibility, it is important enough to have a point person. ******************************************************************* 4. POEM: ADVENTURES This is a great poem for the new year. I hope you can take it to heart and let it help manifest your destiny. ADVENTURES This life that we live, serves up many choices Whatever direction, your heartsong says go If you maintain courage, stay undaunted with pride The places you'll get to, both outside and in Tho sometimes you can't see where you will end up
As we get ready for the New Year you have a choice to make. The first choice is weather you want to make 2004 qualitatively different from 2003? If you do then you have the opportunity to learn some new skills early in the year that I guarantee will make your life better. ESALEN INSTITUTE - BIG SUR, CA Second choice - do you want to do your learning in an exclusive retreat setting in Big Sur, CA ? If so go to www.esalen.org to sign up for my January 24-26 Seminar. If you have not been to Esalen give yourself a treat and have a delicious learning experience - the food, the people, the ocean, the surroundings. I've taught at Esalen at least once a year since 1995 and I always come away refreshed, invigorated, relaxed and excited about my life. You will too. OR... SAN FRANCISCO Join me in the San Francisco Bay area on January 30-31 to learn about the profound value of "Living By Agreement." See the description below SPECIAL BONUS Sign up for either seminar and I'll send two free bonuses - 1.) my new eBook "Stop Conflict Now," and QUESTIONS Call 510-814-1010 or email: seminar@ResolutionWorks.org ***************
With less focus on the purely psychological aspects of reaching
Lessons learned "in the thick of it." For more than 30 years, I've been working with people in conflict, in all types of situations. From feuding partners to disgruntled employees, frustrated consumers to divorcing couples, divided teams to struggling salespeople -- I've been right there in the thick of it, helping to resolve impossible situations, and saving thousands of relationships. It's been my lifelong career. Over that 25 years, I've discovered exactly what works, and what doesn't work when it comes to preventing and resolving conflict. These same principles, and the psychology behind them, can work for you. I know, because they've worked for thousands of people just like you. Fighting and "barking" is a silly, ineffective way to solve problems. The heart of conflict. All conflict is emotional. Whether it's a divorce, a business dispute, or organizational breakdown, it's never about what people say they're fighting about - it's always about their emotions. That's why I show people how to start off with a meeting of mind and heart as a way of preventing conflict. Agreement is more powerful than conflict. We succeed in life by forming agreements, agreements with others and ourselves. In fact, the ability to craft effective agreements and collaborative partnerships is a fundamental life skill critical to your success in business, sales, leadership, and professions of every kind. But surprisingly, agreement is a skill we were never taught. What if we shifted the context of the process of forming agreements from adversarial, win/lose negotiating to a joint visioning process that articulates an inclusive vision of outcomes, and generates a clear road map to desired results? What if we learned to design agreements that express a joint vision that satisfies everyone? What if you can easily benefit from this life-changing approach in your business, career, relationships and life? The results would be resolutionary! Discover the "Power of Agreement" I've created a program that shows you in step-by-step detail the most effective success strategies I've developed over 25 years. It's different than anything you've seen. Traditional mediation, and advice of this kind, typically focus on what to do when you're already in a conflict. Living By Agreement not only shows you how to resolve conflict, but also what to do to prevent it. Once you get this information, you'll be able to use it to lead more effectively, advance your career, get more business, and enjoy better results in your daily life. LIVING BY AGREEMENT DEVELOPING EFFECTIVE AGREEMENTS FOR RESULTS IS A FUNDAMENTAL COMPETENCE FOR ALL ACCOMPLISHMENT! AGREEMENTS FOR RESULTS LEAD TO SATISFYING PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL RELATIONSHIPS! In "Living by Agreement" you will learn how to create covenantal relationships that are based on shared commitment to ideas, issues, values, goals and process. Covenant is the true source of real teamwork, and is a key ingredient for having a "Family" at work and a "Family" at home. And family is the source of the richness and fulfillment we seek. With covenants in place results beyond expectation follow. In "Living By Agreement" you will discover kernels of wisdom that can save you years of pain and frustration: LIVING BY AGREEMENT IS GUARANTEED TO PROVIDE THESE BENEFITS: * Improved Health * Improved Vitality WHEN: January 30-31 WHERE: San Francisco Bay Area. Location TBA COST: $295 Course Fee RISK FREE: If you attend the entire seminar and you are not satisfied ask for a refund and it will be granted, no questions asked. MORE INFORMATION: Stewart@ResolutionWorks.org ****************************************************************
Please send your website... ********************************************************************* > January 16, 2004 "Managing By Agreement" Evergreen Cove Retreat Center, Easton, Maryland www.EvergreenCove.org > January 17, 2004 "Living By Agreement for Couples / Partners Evergreen Cove Retreat Center, Easton, Maryland www.EvergreenCove.org > January 18, 2004 Unitarian Universalist Fellowship at Easton, Maryland > January 21, 2004 Keynote, NASA Goddard Space Center, Greenbelt, MD > February 24, 2004 Presidio Dialogue Starter: Law and Lawyers www.presidiodialogues.org > March 6, 2004 Lawyers as Problem Solvers, California Western Law School, San Diego > April 16-18, 2004 Omega at the Crossings www.Eomega.org
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