My Dear Friends,
The weather is just gorgeous here in Southern California. The sun setting over the big blue Pacific Ocean this evening is full of grace and beauty. The taste of salt water filled me with happiness as I dove under a wave.
Here’s a new, yes, new approach with TAT. When someone has an addictive behavior, there is often a trigger event which makes a person become partly unconscious as another part comes forward and does the addictive behavior. The behavior is an automatic reaction to the trigger, and the person may have no idea why they are acting that way or even that the behavior happened until it’s over. For example, someone recently told me that she would find herself in front of her refrigerator having eaten some food before she realized what had happened. For someone who automatically responds to a trigger by performing an addictive behavior, here’s what you can do:
First, have them identify what the trigger is. What happens just before they lose consciousness and do whatever their addictive behavior is? Did someone say something mean to them? Did they feel inadequate to a task? Did they feel afraid? Overwhelmed? Once they tell you that piece, do all the Steps, the first two being:
Step One: When (whatever the trigger is) happens, I go unconscious and the automatic behavior starts. (For example, “When I feel overwhelmed, I go unconscious and bite my fingernails.)
Step Two: When (whatever the trigger is) happens, I do not go unconscious and the automatic behavior doesn’t start.
Next, have them be in the pose and have a silent conversation with the automatic behavior part. They may have a name for that part like “My out-of-control self” or “the rebellious part” or “my shameful part”. If they do have a name for that part, then use that name for the rest of your work together when you address that part. Tell them something like this, “Imagine that the automatic behavior part can communicate with you. Ask it to tell you and show you everything it wants you to know, and to convey to you all the feelings it wants you to understand.”
Then do all the Steps with these being the first two:
Step One: Everything that brought this automatic part into being happened.
Step Two: It all happened, it’s over and it’s no longer resulting in the existence of this automatic part.
You can also do just the following two steps to help a person de-identify from the automatic part:
Step One: That automatic part is my identity: it’s who and what I am.
Step Two: That automatic part is not my identity: it’s not who and what I am.
If you give this a try, please let me know how it goes. Send me an email at: tapas@tatlife.com.
