Dear Friends,

Two people wrote this week on the same day about their grief over losing an intimate relationship that they knew wasn’t good for them. One person told me that they’d done TAT about it once and felt worse. Once is not usually enough TAT for a situation like this.

An intimate relationship brings up lots of our core unresolved troubles. Hopes and dreams, fears, wishes of our hearts, ancestral patterns that manifest in intimate relationships, and so on are all stirred up. There will be many parts of ourselves that need our attention in order for us to find real peace at a time like this.

First off, have a conversation with the person you’ve lost while you’re in the Pose. The conversation can either be silent or out loud. (This is not a conversation to them while they’re with you.) Let them hear and feel whatever is in your heart to share. Also give some time to being open to their perspective and thoughts -- these may come to you as you are in this open conversation.

Below are some suggestions for you for Steps #1 and #2. If, after doing those Steps, you feel that issue is completely resolved, you don’t need to do the rest of the Steps. If you feel it might be incomplete, do all the rest of the Steps. It won’t take you long and you’ll get a lot out of it. To get the most out of what TAT offers in this type of situation, plan on doing around 10-20 minutes of TAT daily until you feel entirely at peace about the end of the relationship. If you would like introductory information on how to do all the Steps of TAT, please download our free instructions.

Step 1: Everything that resulted in this grief happened.
Step 2: It happened, it’s over and I can relax now.

Step 1: I need to be in relationships like this.
Step 2: It’s not true that I need to be in relationships like this.

Step 1: I hate myself for being in this relationship pattern.
Step 2: I love and accept myself even though I’ve been in this relationship pattern.

Step 1: My whole family has had this type of relationship pattern and I’m stuck with it.
Step 2: Even though my whole family has had this type of relationship pattern, I’m not stuck with it.

Step 1: I will never be in a truly happy intimate relationship.
Step 2: It is possible for me to be in a truly happy intimate relationship.

As you go through your day, notice when you find yourself in a stuck, repeating thought or feeling and do TAT by making an “Everything that led up to (whatever you’re stuck in) happened” as your Step #1. Although it’s a painful time, it’s also a blessing: so much is stirred up that you have a great opportunity to truly heal many parts of yourself that have been needing your attention. You have the chance to more deeply realize who you are and what you really want in your life. If you take this opportunity, you will come out of it with more divine beauty and radiant happiness than you have ever had.

During times of grief, it is also a good time to have a conversation with God (or whatever you call That). Hold the TAT Pose and have a silent conversation with God for as long as you want, as often as you want.

What the Inner Life Retreat is For

If you feel that a deeper realization of who you are and what you really want in your life would be good for you, join us at the Inner Life Retreat, a part of the Annual TAT Symposium in October in Redondo Beach, California. This type of personal knowledge based on direct experience is very valuable.

Having direct consciousness of who you are makes living easier. Nothing feels the same after you know, from your own experience, that you are eternal, that death never touches who you really are, and that your true nature is love. Your life then imparts more of the charm and beauty of who you are, and you more easily accept the love and grace that Life showers on you.

In your professional healing practice, such a direct experience of your true nature allows you to easily and clearly see a client's problem. The difference is evident between the eternal being in front of you and the life problem they are looking to solve. Approaches to healing will show themselves to you, and healing will happen effortlessly.

The Inner Life Retreat helps you easily move toward or step into this type of direct experience of who you are. This is wealth beyond measure. To register or to read more details, click here.