WORK IN PROGRESS
(Life, Me, You, This Newsletter)
Vol. V, Issue12, June 15, 2001 ><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>>><<>>
RUNNING WATER...
Recent media worries about economic downturns remind
me of an old story about a prosperous farmer. He owned
a farm, small but sufficient to his needs, with a stream
that ran through it. The stream irrigated his crops, and
supplied water for his family to drink and for household
needs. They had a good life.
There came a time when the pundits began forecasting
that the coming season would be very dry. The supply of
water, they said, was going to run low. The farmer
began to feeling very insecure. He projected beyond the
forecast that water would run low, and imagined that his
stream might run completely dry. As he walked his
lands, down to the far border, he watched the stream
crossing his border, running onto his neighbor's land,
and he became incensed.
"He's taking my supply," he began to rage. "Why should
I give him water that is mine?" He decided that he would
build a dam so that the water would be kept on his land,
so that if the time of shortage came, he would have
plenty. Then he thought that if he built it near the edge
of his property, the neighbor would see it, and might
come in the night to steal his water. So he began
building the dam much further up the length of the
stream, far from the lower boundary.
Over time, several things happened. The water, no
longer flowing free, became sluggish, stagnant, green. It
no longer smelled good. It certain no longer tasted
good. And his wife complained that it no longer got the
clothes clean - it left them with a greenish tinge.
Down below the dam, the farmer's land grew dry. The
crops grew less bountifully unless he labored to carry the
water to them.
And across the border, his neighbor was ruined. With no
water, the crops failed. With no incentive to keep
farming, the neighbor took his family and moved to the
city. But no one would buy the arid farmland so the
crops turned to weeds which, in turn, seeded, and the
seeds blew onto the farmer's land, reducing the quality of
his crops yet further.
We know, as we read this, that the solution was for him
to take down the dam and restore the running water. We
also know that the damage done would take long to
repair. The prevention would have been not to panic at
the forecast of shortage, and not to dam up the water,
not to deprive his neighbor.
The water in this story represents abundance. As long
as we accept the flow of abundance, whether the stream
is wide or a little narrower than we would wish, things
move as they should. When we begin to think in terms
of shortage then we slow the flow. We worry about
keeping it for ourselves. In times of economic downturn
the water supply may indeed run lower. This does not
mean that it will run dry.
There is a way to keep the abundance flowing, and that
is to give as well as receive. I remember a couple with
unpredictable income who once told me that they almost
felt as though they were "cheating" because as soon as
they felt a financial pinch they would give more to their
chosen religious organization, and whenever they gave,
it was as though they had thrown a switch somewhere in
the universe - they began to receive more. I know
people on the abundance path who anonymously send
cash to people whose names are selected randomly from
the phone book, specifically in order to keep the money
energy flowing.
Whether your abundance is limited or not, how can you
keep it flowing?
Not only is this story intended as a reminder of
abundance living in general, but it is also a lead-in to
something else...
On an email discussion list of which I am a member,
there are a number of people who are, or have been,
single parents in straitened circumstances. One of them
reasoned that there are many people of goodwill who
would like to help an individual at a personal level rather
than just throw money into the many envelopes we all
receive in the mail requesting help. She reasoned that
some people really WANT to help the less fortunate, but
don't know where to start. They don't know how or what
to offer, and fear to appear condescending.
So she wrote a list of suggestions of ways in which
people can help. Others on the list added their thoughts
and I have done some editing. The original writer had
mothers in mind - I have changed this, for there are
single father in difficult situations also and they, too,
need help. For your inspiration, here is a part of her list:
## If there are women and men in the world who have
even just a little more than they need, I invite you to not
be afraid of reaching out to help single parents. Some
ideas...
Buy sports shoes or other sports equipment for their
kids, bikes, pay for a gymnastics course, buy the family a
second-hand computer and pay for Internet.
Go to their local pharmacy and set up an account that
lets them spend XX$ a month (antibiotics for ear
infections in small children cost fortunes).
If they do not have a car, call the local taxi company and
buy coupons for them : going to emergency at 2 in the
morning with a child who is running a high temperature is
less stressful when you don't have to worry that the taxi
fare may empty the food-budget jar.
Help a single parent with small children to go to a show;
buy some theater tickets for him/her, but include money
for a sitter.
Single parents love to be able to order in once in a while.
Open up a XX$/month tab for his/her at his/her local
Pizza Hut or Chicken King. On that evening when she
can order in, she can devote time to something else.
Offer to take him/her to a market or farm to buy fresh
produce. Help him/her process, jar or freeze fresh
produce. If blade roasts are on sale in your grocery
store, buy extra for him/her and drop them off. Perhaps
you can even find a low-prices working freezer for
him/her.
If a single parent you know is interested in something,
find out when and where courses on the subject are
being given and drop off the info (s/he doesn't have
time).
Offer to put in shelves (at your expense) or help with
much-needed maintenance.
Offer to take him/her to buy a bag of earth and some
flowers in the Spring.
Offer to take the VCR down to the repair shop for
him/her. Give him/her ten blank cassettes.
Buy him/her a subscription to the paper.
Open up a tab at the kids shoe store.
If you have a bike rack on your car, offer to take a single
parent's children's bikes down to the bike shop for a
pre-season check of breaks..., helmets, and foot the bill.
Offer to take the kids with you and make it educational.
Show them how bikes work, why it is important to
maintain them, talk to them about safety.
Take single parent's bike too. S/he can save on bus fare
with a bike and get exercise. If you have a child's seat for
adult bike gathering dust, offer to have it installed
(properly at the bike shop!) for a single parent.
Another great way to help single parents is, when
changing cars, instead of benefiting from that three or
five thousand $ exchange amount on your old car, sell
the old car for a dollar to a single parent and include the
winter tires.
Or, if you know a single parent you trust as a driver, ask
him/her if she would be willing, while you are out of the
country or away from home, to take in your mail for you,
water your flowers, and tell him/her she may use your car
to do so. (Two such people in my entourage trust me
enough to do that.)
Open up a tab (you choose the limit) at the local fabric
store and with a local seamstress's shop. That way, a
single can have at least one new outfit each season.
Transportation is single parent's greatest handicap.
Often, out-of-the-way places that single parent must get
to once in a while are a problem.
If you are going to the jeweler's, ask her if she has any
watches that need new batteries or bands, if a child's
favorite bracelet needs fixing. Give the jeweler your
phone number and when the repairs are done and the
jeweler calls, go pick the items up pay for them and drop
them off to.
Same thing with shoe repair. When you are on your way
to take your favorite shoes to be re-soled ask a single
parents if s/he needs any laces you can pick up for her,
your treat. S/he'll probably say no. Then ask if s/he has a
pair of shoes that need re-soling, your treat.
If you go to the grocery store at the same time each
week, (without your kids!*) pull out your cellular and call
a single parent and say: "I'm at the grocery store; can I
throw any heavy items you might need into my basket
while I'm at it and drop them off to you in 25 minutes?"
Heavy-to-carry-home items, like clothes detergent, milk...
Let him/her pay for the things you spoke about, but
include a couple of things that were on special as a treat,
some nice broccoli, a bag of candy, lunch items for kids
lunch boxes!
When school begins, as you head for the out-of-the-way
school supply store, ask a single parent if s/he'd like to
tag along.
On school meeting nights, ask a single parent if s/he'd
like a lift home (even if you can't offer a ride there).
Getting kids to dental appointments is a problem for
single, working parents. Ask if s/he would like to
schedule check-ups at the same time as your child's
check-up. Offer at least to take him/her, even if you can't
drop him/her off after**. She'll spend for one bus fare
instead of two.
*Don't let your children (or anyone) know what you are
doing. Children do not need to know or repeat what does
not need repeating. Do as much as you can in secret.
**Single parents are a very practical breed, so if you say
"Look, this is my limit, I can take you, but can't bring you
home..." s/he will more than understand. If a single
parents gets the impression that you offer only when it is
no trouble for you, s/he will feel okay about accepting
and will not feel she is imposing, knowing that she has
caused you minimum trouble. The receiving will remain
joyful. The giving too.
That's what you want. ##
Think about it. Are any of these things that you could do
for someone in need?
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TOP TEN LISTS & COACHING TIPS
At any time you can easily access all but the most recent
of the Top Ten lists (that I write for CoachU's Top Ten
site) by visiting the Top Ten page of my web site at
http://www.choicecoach.com/4Writer/TopTens.htm .
Lists recently added to that page include:
Top Ten...
--Ways to market your service business
--Actions to take to complete your meeting
--Reasons why we tolerate tolerations
--Thoughts for people suffering from perfectionism
--Actions to take when blocked.
Likewise, my more than seventy Coaching Tips can be
found at
http://www.choicecoach.com/4Writer/CoachingTips.htm
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FREE COACHING SESSIONS!
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Copyright 2001 Diana Robinson, Ph.D. Work in
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