WORK IN PROGRESS
(Life, Me, You, This Newsletter)
Vol. V, Issue19, October 1, 2001 ><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>>><<>>
EXTRACTING OURSELVES FROM OVERWHELM
As I walked to my car from the office supply store the
assistant walked behind me, pulling a cart heavy-laden
with the storage units that will (I am determined) bring
greater order to my office. I watched as, with
considerable effort, he loaded the two cartons into the
back of my car. My heart sank.
Driving home I wondered how on earth I would get those
heavy boxes out of the car and up to where they were to
be assembled. Had I "bitten off more than I could chew"
I wondered. Had I spent money for items that might
never take shape?
Once the car was in the garage I experimented, and
founded that, indeed, I could lift neither carton, could not
even drag them out of the car without risking major
damage as they crashed to the ground. Yet... those
storage units are now assembled and making my life
easier.
How did I manage? Ridiculously easy really--I opened
the cartons in the car, and moved the unassembled
pieces one by one, for then I could indeed carry them.
No, this is not an egotistical descent into my telling
personal stories about myself. It is a true story, but it is
also an analogy--an analogy for what we need to do in
order to get ourselves out from overwhelm.
One of the most frequent reasons why people ask me for
a free sample coaching session is that they feel
overwhelmed. It almost always turns out that "the
problem" is not usually one problem but many. The trick
is to open the box and take the pieces out one by one.
Once they are separated out and seen as single,
separate pieces it is usually not to difficult for the
individual to decide how to proceed.
How can you use this to help in your own life? Of
course, you are entirely welcome to request a free
sample coaching call from me, but if you prefer to work
on the problem of overwhelm yourself, here are some
thoughts.
Most people talk about their various problems as though
they experience them to be one piled on top of another
on top of another. Certainly that is how we experience
them, and we end up being weighed down.
Now, imagine that instead of being piled one on top of
the other in a crushing stack you have them spread out,
so that each one is separate and can be looked at as a
single item. I think you will find that each can be handled
very much more effectively.
Another analogy that I sometimes use in similar
situations is to ask the client to think of all the problems
as a confusion of knitting wool that has been tangled by
a family of mischievous kittens. So that s/he can start to
untangle the mess, s/he needs to identify the different
colors of yarn AND find an end to start untangling each
one. It is by finding the end of each problem that we can
identify what is the first step to take for each. Just doing
that, identifying the first step, can be a wonderful relief.
Suddenly comes the realization that we do not need to
do EVERYTHING that needs to be done in one huge
leap to solution. The only thing that we have to work on
at this moment is the very first step.
So, the beginning of the solution to overwhelm is to
break the situation apart so that we can see the
individual issues that we are facing, separate from their
combined impact. Then we need to decide what to do
next, for each one. In many cases, though not in all,
these two steps can bring a tremendous relief from the
sensation of being completely overwhelmed.
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LAST QUARTER CHANGES
Today, October 1, is the beginning of the last quarter of
the year. While this most often seems to be of concern
to those involved in financial reports, it can also be an
excellent time for all of us to implement needed changes
in our lives.
No need to wait until January 1 to make those
resolutions that, if kept, can transform the way we live, or
look, or feel.
Just think... a change made now can be packaged in
your thinking as a neat, three-month effort. You can be
clear with yourself that you are not in this for ever, but
just until the end of the year. At that time, you can
resolve, you will evaluate the results to discover whether
they were worth the effort. If they were, then you will, I
hope, continue with them. If they did not bring the
results for which you hoped, then perhaps the end of the
year, the start of the new, will be the time to tweak those
resolutions yet again, so that they will be even more
effective in the future.
The commitment is not for ever, not even for a whole
year, but just for three tidy little months. What better
time for needed changes could there be?
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BOOKS FOR TODAY
Orbiting the Giant Hairball : A Corporate Fool's Guide to
Surviving With Grace
Creativity is crucial to business success. But too often,
even the most innovative organization quickly becomes a
"giant hairball"--a tangled, impenetrable mass of rules,
traditions, and systems, all based on what worked in the
past--that exercises an inexorable pull into mediocrity.
Gordon McKenzie worked at Hallmark Cards for thirty
years, many of which he spent inspiring his colleagues to
slip the bonds of Corporate Normalcy and rise to orbit--to
a mode of dreaming, daring and doing above and
beyond the rubber-stamp confines of the administrative
mind-set. In his deeply funny book, exuberantly
illustrated in full color, he shares the story of his own
professional evolution, together with lessons on
awakening and fostering creative genius.
To read more about it:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN%3D0670879835/personalandcareeA/002-8534146-3804809
The Relationship Cure: A Five-Step Guide for Building
Better Connections with Family, Friends, and Lovers
by John M. Gottman, Joan Declaire
Leading relationship expert and bestselling author Dr.
John Gottman, who has won numerous awards for his
groundbreaking research, presents a revolutionary
five-step program for repairing troubled relationships --
with spouses and lovers, children and other family
members, friends, and even your boss or colleagues at
work. Drawing on a host of powerful new studies, as well
as his 29 years of analyzing relationships and
conducting relationship therapy, Gottman provides the
tools you need to make your relationships thrive.
To read more about it:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN%3D0609608096/personalandcareeA/002-8534146-3804809
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WHERE ARE YOU STUCK?
Would a free half-hour coaching session with Diana
Robinson help you?
Although Work in Progress covers general issues related
to personal growth, many of these can be addressed far
more specifically and personally in the personal
coaching process.
If you would like to receive the gift of a free half-hour of
coaching by phone, with no pressures, no sales push,
just a 30 minute focus on your situation, please e-mail
me or visit my Guestbook at www.ChoiceCoach.com. I
will respond promptly to schedule a call at your
convenience. Just one free call might help you to get
over that annoying little glitch that has been holding you
back!
The only cost to you is the cost of the phone call.
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Copyright 2001 Diana Robinson, Ph.D. Work in
Progress may be reproduced in its entirety only,
including this copyright line. Disclaimer -The contents
herein are solely the opinions of Work in Progress
owner, and should not be considered as a form of
therapy nor advice. There is no guarantee of validity or
accuracy. If expert assistance or counseling is needed,
services of a competent professional should be sought.
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