WORK IN PROGRESS
(Life, Me, You, This Newsletter)
Vol. VI, Issue 8, April 15, 2002 ><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>>><<>>
In this issue:
--- Personal: Dealing with Stress
--- Business & Career: Top 10 Ways to Cope when you are overwhelmed at work
---Recommended reading
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DEALING WITH STRESS
Okay, here's an example of stress. One of my sources of inspiration is Blue Mountain's calendar of events, holidays and special days. On this calendar I happened to read that April 17th is Stress Awareness Day, and I developed this issue accordingly. Then, this morning, on the web, I discovered that Stress Awareness Day is designated by the UK-based International Stress Management Association as November 6. This means that for all my many UK readers (and whomever else is covered by that word "international") I am off by half a year. What to do?
Actually, I've decided that rather than add to my own stress by re-writing the newsletter, and because stress is a year-round problem for so many people, even if I end up doing two issues a year on stress, this would not be too many. So, how do YOU deal with stress?
There are many anti-stress techniques, some of which I will mention here and more of which are covered in the books recommended below. But first, here are some questions to ask yourself when you feel stressed:
Who or what is it that says that things HAVE to be the way you are trying to make it (by whatever struggle it is that is stressing you)? Is this source really the ultimate authority? Why?
If you don't get it done... will the sky fall? Will your world be different tomorrow? In two weeks? In a month or so?
If a door closes because you don't get it done, is it possible that an ever better door will then open?
Why are you doing this? Is what is happening right now bringing you closer to what you want for yourself, or is it leading you away from it?
You get my drift. When we are stressed, the walls of our thinking start to close in on us so that we lose the big picture. Although some people will tell you that they do their best work under stress and with deadlines looming, for the most part this may, for some, be effective with meaningless or fine-detail tasks, but it does not usually work well when we need to retain our image of the big picture.
There is an old and oft-repeated story that when a person is ploughing furrows in a field, if s/he looks closely at the ground in front, the resulting furrows will be wobbly and inefficient. Only by including the big picture, and by setting one's eyes on a single, distant marker and aiming directly for that, is one able to do one's best work, ploughing furrows that are straight and clean. Somehow, when we straighten ourselves up and look at the goal further away, the small stressors in the immediate vicinity fall into perspective, which often gives them less power over us.
Another thought - give up "the need to know." The need for certainty always brings stress, for there is so much that we can never know for certain. Many of my readers know of my fascination with the 4-camera peregrine falcon birdcam at http://birdcam.kodak.com. Along with this site is a discussion board, and I am often amused by the urgency of people's need to KNOW how many eggs will be laid, when the next one will appear, where both the birds are at all times, etc. Yet this urgency comes from events that don't affect the lives of the contributors in any direct way. How much more do we cling to our need to know about our own futures, and the events and behaviors in the lives of those near and dear to us? The truth is, we cannot know what the future holds, and clinging to the need to know can heighten our level of anxiety to the point that it destroys our ability to enjoy life as it IS, which is the only certainty that we really have.
Other stress-reliever thoughts:
Take time to meditate. Exercise. Trust the goodness of whatever or whomever you see as your Creator. Journal. Make room in your life to sing out loud, to dance with abandon, and to laugh (though always with, not at, other people).
If your stress causes difficult in sleeping, breath deeply from the abdomen. Count each exhalation up to ten, then start again. If even that does not work, try the "Alexander technique" in which, one by one and starting at your toes, you tighten, hold, hold, and then relax each part of your body until every part of you has tensed, held, and relaxed. Unless there is something seriously wrong, you will soon sleep.
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The Top 10 Ways to Cope when You are Overwhelmed at Work
In these days of downsizing, many workers are carrying a heavier work-load than they used to, and feeling overwhelmed by it. The more overwhelmed we feel, the less well are we likely to deal with the problem. Often we get into a state of mind in which we are convinced that nothing will help. At that point, stop, take a deep, slow breath, and commit to trying at least four of the potential solutions below even if you don't think they apply to your situation - not all of them will. They largely fall into two categories - how you think about the situation, and how you deal with it.
1. Avoid getting into a victim stance.
Once you start being a victim you adopt a role of helplessness in which you can do nothing to get yourself out. Remember, there is no knight in shining armor to rescue you. It is your situation, and you, more than anyone else, have responsibility for changing it.
2. Stay in the moment.
Do not get caught in the trap of thinking about all the other things that will need doing when you finish what you are doing at that moment. We finish each task much more quickly and easily if we focus solely on it, instead of at the same time worrying about what else we need to do, about the situation in general, and about whose fault it all is.
3. Take time to list all the tasks on which you spend time and decide which ones are not essential.
Your first impulse will be that every one of them is absolutely essential. Move past that to decide which tasks are not. There will probably be some that you decided to do because that was the ideal way to do it. Remember that every task serves an end result. In most work situations it is the result that must be achieved, not the process. The process can often be shortened without damage to the result.
4. Let go of control issues.
How much of the pressure you are feeling really comes from outside, and how much is actually from you?
5. Delegate.
Decide if there is anything that can be delegated, or that more fairly belongs to someone else's work load. Do not just dump it on them, but discuss with those involved how work may be redistributed more fairly.
6. Come up with your own suggested solutions to the work-time crunch and take them to your boss.
S/he will probably be delighted that you are producing, rather than asking for, ways to solve the problem.
7. Keep in mind that work loads are often cyclical.
The fact that you are rushed off your feet this week does not mean the situation is permanent. What can you legitimately put aside to catch up on when things slow down a bit? (This is NOT the same thing as procrastinating.)
8. Take your breaks.
Five minutes away from the work situation will do far more to clear your head and your attitude than the work you would achieve in that five minutes if you did not leave your desk. Lunch-breaks exist not just so that we can eat, but so that we may take a mental break. Put something in your office or work situation to remind you of pleasant things and take you out of your frantic mind-set. Read or listen to something that will inspire you or bring you peace.
9. When you leave work, leave your work behind.
Do not let your work problems rent space in your head during the time when you are not supposed to be working. Some people find it even helps to develop a mental ritual, a metaphorical shaking of the dust from one's feet, somewhere between leaving work and getting home. I know of one counselor who, as she drives across a bridge, mentally tells her clients good-bye. As she drives back the next morning she greets them again.
10. If you cannot find any way to change your situation, and continue to feel trapped, remind yourself that you chose this job. Remind yourself why.
Has it now become something different from what it was when you were hired? Do you still choose it? If not, start updating your resume. If you choose to stay, remember that you are there by choice, which must mean that in some way the positives still outweigh the negatives. Try to focus on the positives.
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WHAT's HAPPENING... at ChoiceCoach
(One of my grammatical "bugs" is proper use of the words "effect" and "affect." Once I even wrote (and have since lost) a guide for college students on the two correct uses of each of the two words. So I was horrified to discover, after sending out the last issue of WIP, that I had typo-ed precisely one of the errors that I dislike so strongly. Sorry. I really do know better.)
I offer a free sample coaching call, with no strings attached, to each and every reader of Work in Progress - with the proviso that the individual will be calling me, not vice versa. To arrange a call, either visit www.ChoiceCoach.com and sign in at the Guestbook with a request for a free call, or else e-mail me directly at Diana@ChoiceCoach.com.
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RECOMMENDED READING
Choosing Happiness: Keys to a Joyful Life
by Alexandra Stoddard
"Bursting with creative ideas and brimming with illuminating anecdotes, this concise, joyful, and practical book shows how to find -- and forge -- happiness in the large and small events of everyday life. Based on her more than thirty years as a noted thinker and speaker on personal contentment, Alexandra Stoddard shares what she has learned about the small but significant changes you can make in your mind, heart, and surroundings to be happier day by day."
To learn more and/or order, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN%3D0060008040/personalandcareeA/002-8534146-380480
Slowing Down to the Speed of Life: How To Create A More Peaceful, Simpler Life From the Inside Out by Richard Carlson, Joseph V. Bailey
Yes, I know, I've been recommending this book for ages, and will continue to do so. I suggest that almost all my clients read it when pressures start to mount. As the reviewer says, "This is the book for you if you've ever had the urge to tell off your boss, quit your job, hurl your Palm Pilot into the trash, and move to a farm. Written by bestselling stress consultant and psychotherapist Dr. Richard Carlson Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, it advocates the cultivation of a personal mindfulness and "thought navigation" to foster a sense of mental calmness and increased creativity and productivity."
To learn more and/or order, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN%3D0062514547/personalandcareeA/002-8534146-380480
Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity by David Allen
This is another excellent book that I recommend regularly. No, it is not specifically about dealing with stress, yet if we could all use its techniques to get things done I can almost guarantee that our lives would be a great deal less stressful. The reviewer says (rather un-grammatically ), "Yes, Getting Things Done offers a complete system for downloading all those free-floating gotta-do's clogging your brain into a sophisticated framework of files and action lists--all purportedly to free your mind to focus on whatever you're working on."
To learn more and/or order, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN%3D0670899240/personalandcareeA/002-8534146-380480
To offer feedback e-mail Diana at Diana@ChoiceCoach.com or visit her web site at www.ChoiceCoach.com
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Copyright 2002 Diana Robinson, Ph.D. Work in
Progress may be reproduced in its entirety only,
including this copyright line. Disclaimer -The contents herein are solely the opinions of Work in Progress owner, and should not be considered as a form of therapy nor advice. There is no guarantee of validity or accuracy. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, services of a competent professional should be sought.
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