WORK IN PROGRESS
THE Personal Effectiveness E-zine
Vol. VII, Issue 3, February 1, 2002 ><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>>><<>>
Synopsis - Exploration and expansion of our boundaries is natural to us as human beings. Exploration and danger usually go together. Yet exploration continues, and needs to do so.
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My apologies for a somewhat shortened Work in Progress this issue. The events of yesterday set me behind in my schedule, and I do not want to delay distribution further.
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We are Explorers!
As a species, human beings are explorers. To realize how innate the instinct to explore is in us, one has only to watch a child that has just learned to crawl as it avidly examines everything in its path, pushing the boundaries further and further as its reach and increasing range of movement allows. This drive can (sadly) be discouraged, but initially it is real and as natural to us as breathing. It is in our nature to go where none have gone before. When a child is too young to understand the dangers involved, others must protect it. Once it is grown and capable of making its own decisions, things are different.
In almost every country in the world, there are folks, or families, who originated from other countries, other continents, but who had to go somewhere else, find something new. From Asia, from Africa, from Europe, from the Americas... to Asia, to Africa, to Europe, to the Americas... We travel, we thrive, we seek even further boundaries.
Never has this urge been without danger.
Great grandfather's cousin William went to Australia and died an early death, as did many of his British compatriots. The migration to Australia continued. My grandmother's cousin Robert went to Canada, and died there aged only 22. People still emigrated to Canada. There were others. Each was a family tragedy, but the expansion of boundaries and the exploration of possibilities continued. In the US, how many men, women and children died in the great migration to the west coast? Yet now California is the most populous state in the nation.
Following yesterday's tragedy - far more than just a tragedy for the United States, a tragedy for the world - some are asking "What does this do for the Space Program? Should it be stopped?"
We know that explorers across our globe have faced danger, sometimes been vanquished by it. Yet we still explore. Some fall to tragedy, others pick up the pieces and keep going. If we focus only on the tragedies it is easy to develop a distorted view and to start to cry out that such a dance with danger is unwise. That it should perhaps be stopped.
No attempt to turn back history has ever flourished for long. History moves forward, not back. So must it now. We know that.
We must mourn, learn... and move forward again.
Where is your next envelope to push?
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Group formation and coaching- are you interested?
I am considering the development of small-group (five or six people) coaching by phone. This would consist of two or three small group calls and one individual coaching call with me each month. Such coaching would be considerably lower in cost than individual coaching.
If you are seriously interested, please let me know so that I can decide whether to move forward with this process.
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RECOMMENDED READING
Of the responses to my previous question as to whether I should continue the Recommended Reading section, every one said that the section is useful. Hence, it stays.
Having lately received a number of e-mails about difficult relationship issues, I have chosen two books relevant to this topic.
DESTRUCTIVE EMOTIONS: A Scientific Dialogue with the Dalai Lama by Daniel Goleman
"Destructive Emotions: How Can We Overcome Them? A Scientific Dialogue with the Dalai Lama forcefully puts to rest the misconception that the realms of science and spirituality are at odds. In this extraordinary book, Daniel Goleman presents dialogues between the Dalai Lama and a small group of eminent psychologists, neuroscientists, and philosophers that probe the challenging questions: Can the worlds of science and philosophy work together to recognize destructive emotions such as hatred, craving, and delusion? If so, can they transform those feelings for the ultimate improvement of humanity? As the Dalai Lama explains, "With the ever-growing impact of science on our lives, religion and spirituality have a greater role to play in reminding us of our humanity." Silvana Tropea
To learn more and/or order, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN%3D0553801716/personalandcareeA/002-8534146-380480
MAKE PEACE WITH ANYONE: Breakthrough Strategies to Quickly End Any Conflict, Feud, or Estrangement
by David J., Ph.D. Lieberman
"Behaviorist David Lieberman thinks all conflicts have something in common. Whether you're dealing with the complaining customer, the coworker with charisma bypass surgery, or the fallout from forgetting a friend's birthday, the resolution lies in understanding what he calls the "conflict recipe." The ingredients of all conflicts are fear and perceived loss of respect, says Lieberman. When people and events don't respond as we planned, we fear a loss of control. We compensate and translate this fear--and the lowered sense of esteem it brings--into anger. Ergo, conflict resolution is accomplished by offering the injured party the ingredients for restoring self-regard and a sense of control.
Based on this recipe, Lieberman creates dozens of step-by-step scenarios for resolving conflicts of every shape, including family money feuds, contretemps with friends, personality clashes, passive-aggressive coworkers, and differences in values. Other particularly strong chapters direct readers to seek forgiveness for their own behavior and provide emergency techniques for standoffs and longtime estrangement. Lieberman explains his basic theory with clarity, and illustrates its practice with smart strategies and chapter summaries. This practicality and consistency allow Make Peace with Anyone to deliver on the title's promise. --Barbara Mackoff
To learn more and/or order, click on
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN%3D0312281544/personalandcareeA/002-8534146-380480
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TELL A FRIEND
I hope that you enjoy Work in Progress, and that it is useful to you. To pass its benefits on to a friend or colleague, please forward this issue, perhaps with the suggestion that they might like to subscribe.
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Copyright 2003 Diana Robinson, PhD., PCC. Work in
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including this copyright line. Disclaimer -The contents herein are solely the opinions of Work in Progress owner, and should not be considered as a form of therapy nor advice. There is no guarantee of validity or accuracy. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, services of a competent professional should be sought.