WORK IN PROGRESS
THE Personal Effectiveness E-zine May 2007

><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>>><<>><
Time to de-prioritize?

So much has been written about time management that it sometimes seems there can be nothing left to write. Yet still we struggle. We may think that we have the problem handled, but If we regularly have even just one thing not done when we intended to do it, then we still have room to grow in our relationship with time.

Yes, I wrote "relationship with time." One thing I have discovered is that it does not help to think of time as some kind of enemy, marching inexorably forward over our plans and dreams. Time can be an ally if we will welcome it, be open to working with it. Perhaps more about that on another occasion. Now, however, I am focusing on practicalities. What about the things that do not get done?

Perhaps it may help to recognize that it is actually because we have so many opportunities that we have difficulty when we try to "do it all". The fact is, much of what we "don't have time for" comes from our choosing not to choose between the many alternatives we have, alternatives that our ancestors did not have, and without which, in many cases, they managed very well.

The "cereal analogy"
Just as some people, in some cultures, feel when faced with an entire grocery aisle full of a vast number of different types and brands of breakfast cereal, so, in our day to day lives, we are faced with more choices than we have ever had before, and more than we can possibly take advantage of.

We look at our "life balance wheel" (a very useful tool, incidentally), and we misuse it. We insert into it all the "shoulds" and standards of society, and find ourselves lacking. The balance wheel is intended to measure our life balance across our many areas of life, measured against what we truly WANT FOR OURSELVES. Instead, however, we too often measure our own situation against the standards of other people's expectations and demands. It is your life, and only you can know what it is that YOU seek.

So, returning to the analogy of our over-stocked cereal aisle, we need to remember that we can choose. Perhaps we CAN have it all, but we probably cannot have it all in one week or one month. The balance wheel measures the now.

Yet, when it comes to how we spend our time and fill our calendars, we find ourselves distressed at the thought that we cannot include everything - NOW! We start to wonder if we are failures if we leave just one of our many options on the shelf.

I have written often of the need to prioritize, and this is nothing new. Just as important, though, is the need to "de-prioritize", to decide not just what is most important or least important, but what we can drop off our list entirely, at least for this month, or this year. The fact that something is available to us does not mean that we have to have it or do it. That the advertising folks try to persuade us that we must "have it all" or else be abject failures does not mean that we have to believe them. Even when we read of those amazing motivational success-stories who started off with "life lists" of overwhelming and unlikely goals, and who have famously achieved all but a couple of them, we need to notice that they attained these goals sequentially. They did not do them all at once. They focused on one or two at a time, and for the most part there are still a few outstanding.

Some of what we might like to include, like the most artfully flavored and least nutritional cereals, are easily seen as wanting, as not adding to our quality of life. It does not occur to us to believe that we should have them all. Some go easily. Those with a slight flavor of addiction (computer games included) may be more resistant to change even though we can see clearly that they must go. However, there remain many that are nutritional and tempting. In the grocery, we know that we do not have to buy every brand and package that appeals to us. We recognize that and we make our choices. We do not fret over the fact that something we might have enjoyed must stay on the shelf, unsampled. Maybe we will try it another time, maybe not.

Perhaps you may consider, for now, whether you may want to de-prioritize a few things or, at very least, "back-burner" them so that you no longer feel frustrated or inadequate if you do not get to "everything", whatever "everything" may be. How important, in the grand scheme of your life, are each of the things that take up your time? What is there that does not truly either add to the quality of your life or help you to move forward toward some of your high priority goals?

Some people choose to keep a minute-by-minute (or 15 minutes by 15 minutes) track of what they do, all day and every day, or at least during the part of day that you live the part of your life that causes them frustration. (For most of us, that is our homes.) This tracking can be done for a few days, a week, just enough to let us see what our reality really is. That tells us, often with humiliating accuracy, where our time is actually going - as opposed to where we think it is going. From there, we can make our own decisions as to what should be de-prioritized.

If you wish, let's correspond about it.

><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>>><<>><

Remember that an archive on old Work in Progress issues going back to 1997 can be found at
http://lists.webvalence.com/sites/WorkInProgress/

If you or your friends would like a free half-hour sample coaching call, please contact me by email or via my web site at http://ChoiceCoach.com. I may not answer instantly as there will be some times this summer when I cannot access the internet, but you may be sure that I will respond as soon as I am able.

><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>>><<>><

Disclaimer -The contents herein are solely the opinions of Work in Progress owner, and should not be considered as a form of therapy nor advice. There is no guarantee of validity or accuracy. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, services of a competent professional should be sought.

><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>>><<>><
PLEASE! Any re-use of this material should include the words "Copyright Diana Robinson 2007. For more information visit Diana's web site http://ChoiceCoach.com or contact her at Diana@ChoiceCoach.com."

TO SUBSCRIBE to Work in Progress send a blank e-mail to workinprogress-On@lists.webvalence.com.
TO UNSUBSCRIBE, send a blank e-mail to
workinprogress-Off@lists.webvalence.com
To offer feedback e-mail Diana at Diana@ChoiceCoach.com or visit her
web site at http://ChoiceCoach.com