WORK IN PROGRESS
THE Personal Effectiveness E-zine December 2007

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Keeping your Eye on the Ball

What is the ball? For today's purposes, the ball is the higher value in your life. It is the overarching theme, the central intention, on which, in your more reflective moments, you intend to base your life path.

Different people may have different values, different intentions. That is not relevant to today's thoughts, although I believe that having intentions, values, life path, and daily activities all be congruent with one another is essential to our serenity and success. This makes it important that, whatever your choices, they be made with careful thought.

Whatever that central focus may be, today I am referring to it as the ball, because today I am using the ubiquitous Brickbreaker as our analogy with the ways in which we can easily be distracted from our central intent.

You may be deeply disappointed to discover that since I acquired a Blackberry - which itself is another story - I sometimes "waste" time playing Brickbreaker. I may excuse myself by pointing out that as one gets older it is important to exercise one's reflexes and concentration. I may point out that I only play it in moments of down time when I have nothing else to do, like waiting in my car for someone else to do whatever it is that they are doing. No matter, my time is mine to do as I wish with.

What I have noticed though, is that there are lessons to be learned.

For those of you who do not know Brickbreaker, it is one of those electronic games in which one tries to break "bricks" as one goes through increasingly complex levels, acquiring points and avoiding minor perils as one goes. It has none of the complexities of serious gaming, and can get quite boring at times. One moves the "paddle" and tries to bounce the "ball" back into the arena so that it may break more bricks. However, and here is the same kind of complexity that life throws us, which gives us our analogy, some of the bricks, when hit by the ball, release blue globes that can change the game in subtle ways, while also adding bonuses to the score that is otherwise accumulated as one breaks each brick.

Some of these globes are beneficial in ways that make the task of keeping the ball in the arena easier. One type, the "flip," makes it more difficult - when you go to move the paddle to the left, it goes to the right, and vice versa. (Does this sound like some of your experiences in life? I can assure you, you are not alone!) Another type adds a "life" so that you can "survive" for longer even when you accidentally miss the ball. You start each game with three lives, but if you get a "life" blue globe, and if you intercept the globe with the paddle, then you add another life, and so on. The type of globe that is released appears to be random, though I'd guess there is actually an algorithm in there somewhere. Regardless of type, each of them, if intercepted by the paddle, also adds more points to your overall "score" for the game.

Where I find that the analogy with our lives is so strong is in the seductiveness of the globes. As a most desirable "life" globe descends, or an undesirable "flip," it is SO easy to take one's eye off the ball - which HAS to be kept in the arena - and instead to focus on intercepting or avoiding the globe. As a result, the paddle may not be in the right place to prevent the ball from leaving the arena. One has just lost a "life." So, to gain a "life" one has lost a "life." Or to avoid a "flip" one has lost a life.

Think about it. What is the worst that can happen if one does not avoid the flip? One may or may not manage to reverse-maneuver the paddle so as to keep the ball in the arena. If not, I lose a life. If I succeed, I may continue to score points as the ball bounces around breaking bricks. True, it is more difficult than if I had avoided the flip. Nonetheless, it is possible that I could continue to score until reaching the next level, when everything returns to normal. However, if by avoiding the flip I also fail to intercept the ball, then I lose a life anyway, and am no further ahead. So, by taking my eye off the ball I have a one hundred percent certainty that I will lose a life, versus the highly likely, but not certain possibility that I will lose a life because of the difficulty of dealing with the flip.

When looked at in terms of probabilities, the correct action is obvious. Unfortunately, few of us think or behave in those terms.

There can be a similar pattern with some of the variously desirable other globes that make playing the game a little easier - for example, the one that lengthens the paddle, or the one that ensures that the ball will not suddenly speed up to try one's reflexes to the utmost. The benefit of these globes is that they make it easier to intercept the ball. They do not, however, make it certain that one will do so. Sooner or later one may miss it, and so lose a "life." Yet it is all too easy to be seduced by the desire to intercept one of them, at the expense of intercepting the ball. The result? The ball leaves the arena, and a "life" is lost.

I would guess that you see the analogy. How often do we lose sight of the ball that is our main path in our life because we are distracted by positive or negative "globes" that we see coming at us. How often, in our desire to avoid a negative event, whether major or minor, do we abandon our values, or our long-term goals? We may tell ourselves that the pause is only temporary, but during that interval, how much else may be lost?

How often does something desirable appear on the horizon, something seductive enough that we feel it will inevitably help us along our main path? Yet, may we not sometimes fail to notice that in order to reach that desirable something, we have to leave that main path?

Can you think of a time when this has happened to you?

I remember a time when I was a graduate student, and my marriage ended. Although my financial situation was not dire, it was not clear. I had for years been "just a housewife" and despite the fact that I was now in graduate school I was fearful for my financial future. I did not believe that I could survive the years of graduate school without adding to my income. Accordingly, I went into business for myself, abandoning my graduate work. Most fortunately, my business was, even back then, along the lines of motivational work, helping folks to prioritize their goals and their time management. Equally fortunately, the creator of this program required that all franchisees go through the program themselves. By going through the program I realized that my main goal at that time was indeed to complete my doctorate, the path that I had abandoned. I let the business go and returned to the university. I was lucky. My "globe" served to guide me back to the path that I had abandoned in order to acquire the globe. Life is not always so generous, or so ironic. Sometimes when we abandon a path, it becomes very difficult to return.

I recently watched the truly amazing movie "Into the Wild." I recommend it highly - but take some tissues with you. There is a point in the movie where our hero blithely fords a shallow river. There is another point where, almost as casually, he attempts to return across it, only to discover that, now that it is spring, the snow is melting and the river is impassible. Sometimes life is like that; a move that seems easy and that can be made almost casually turns out to be irreversible. We may find a way to make good despite that setback, but it often means changing our central goal and walking a different path.

Such change is not always a bad thing. There are many paths to the top of most mountain peaks. However, that is not always the case, and some deeply treasured goals, once abandoned, may remain forever beyond our reach.

So... my lesson in Brickbreaker is to remember always that keeping the ball in the arena is more important than intercepting or avoiding any of the globes. The consequences of missing the one are a certainty. Those of the other just change the odds a bit, but leave open the various possibilities.

Our lesson in life is to remember the path that we choose to walk, and not allow the distractions, enticements, and threats of less central issues to distract us. Certainly we may have to deal with them, but that does not mean that we have to wander so far from our paths that we can no longer return to them. Like a magical spell, every step away from the path seems to take many more steps to return to it. Perhaps there is another lesson there...

Let me know what you think, what your have experienced along these lines...

Diana

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If you or your friends would like a free half-hour sample coaching call, please contact me by email or via my web site at http://ChoiceCoach.com. I may not answer instantly as there will be some times this summer when I cannot access the internet, but you may be sure that I will respond as soon as I am able.

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Disclaimer -The contents herein are solely the opinions of Work in Progress owner, and should not be considered as a form of therapy nor advice. There is no guarantee of validity or accuracy. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, services of a competent professional should be sought.
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PLEASE! Any re-use of this material should include the words "Copyright Diana Robinson 2007. For more information visit Diana's web site http://ChoiceCoach.com or contact her at Diana@ChoiceCoach.com."

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